Nobody Likes Fairytale Pirates

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Authors: Elizabeth Gannon
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and Ransom jolted.  “I’m Badroulbadour.” 
She waved at them, like they were new students just arriving in her class. 
“And I just want to say hi!”  She paused.  “Wait… am I supposed to?  Are you
the good guys or the bad guys?”
    Uriah doffed his tall copotain hat
to her theatrically.  “We’re pirates, good lady.”
    “We defy traditional classification.” 
Ransom added in her charming whisper.
    “Moral chameleons, really.”  Uriah
agreed.  “Though not too bad, we’re not too good.”
    “You’re kidnappers!”  Din argued
loudly.
    Uriah shrugged.  “Again… we live in
a world of grey, I’m afraid.”
    “Well… pretty fucking dark grey.”  Ransom
clarified.  “Particularly on that issue.  Probably some ‘Red’ mixed in too.” 
She paused for effect.  “Pink.  We live in a world of dark pink.”
    Uriah leaned against the railing of
the ship.  “Oh, half the people I knew growing up were kidnapped.  I don’t know
what all the fuss is about.  This is a cultural misunderstanding, that’s all. 
Let’s not be so ethnocentric.”
    “Wait…”  Ransom held up her hand. 
“Huh?”
    “Who would live in a shithole like
the Grizzwood by choice?”  He shook his head.  “No, sometimes you need to bring
in outside blood or the whole world stagnates.”  He held up a finger, making a
vital point.  “Or as my dear mum used to say: ‘Fuck destiny.  Just do it yourself.’” 
He sighed in admiration.  “A credo which epitomizes the no-holds-barred pioneer
spirit which the Grizzwood was built upon.”
    “Your life is just…”  Ransom made a
soft whistling sound.  “Wow.”
    Din’s wife didn’t look nearly as
moved by the words as Uriah was.  “I’m afraid I still don’t really understand
who…”  The woman trailed off and pointed at Ransom.  “Is she… blind?”
    Uriah nodded.  “My partner is…”
    The woman looked excited over this
news for some reason and cut him off, focusing on Ransom completely.  “I’ve
always wondered… what can you actually see?”  Her words were spoken at a
louder volume than necessary and were carefully spaced, as if believing that
Ransom’s blindness came with a hearing condition as well.
    “Um…,” Ransom hesitated, unsure of
the question, “…nothing?”  She answered, sounding like she were unsure and
worried about failing a hidden test.  “’Rai?”  She asked, trying to make
certain she hadn’t missed anything and wanting him to clarify what the woman
was asking, just in case there were visual clues she couldn’t see.
    Unfortunately, he had no idea
either and Uriah frowned, equally confused and trying to decide if there were
some deeper aspect to the question.  “She’s… blind.”  He tried, thinking maybe
the woman didn’t understand the concept and needed it explained to her or had
perhaps merely misheard his partner the first time.  “Like…”
    “…blind.”  Ransom nodded as she
finished his sentence, obviously thinking that sufficiently drove the point
home.  “ Blind blind.”
    “But there’s got to be something ,
right?”  The woman persisted, waving a hand in front of Ransom’s face.  “Like
shadows?”
    “Nope.”  Ransom shook her head.
    “Movement…”  The woman tried again,
certainty in her tone.
    “Nope.”  Ransom repeated.
    “But…”  The woman began.
    “Blind.”  There was an edge of
annoyance to Ransom’s voice now as she interrupted, obviously sick of this
conversation. “Completely blind.  The absence of sight.  None at all.  Zip. 
Nada.  Zilch.  Nothing.”
    “Huh.”  The woman frowned.  “Don’t
you wish you could see?”
    “Don’t you wish you had X-ray
vision?”  Ransom’s eyebrow rose and she nodded.  “It’d be pretty cool, huh? 
Probably simplify some stuff in your life.  But does it gnaw at you that you
don’t have it?  Can’t you get by quite happily without it, since you have no
idea what X-ray vision

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