about Julian more than I could say. That was clear. But maybe our attachment to one another had grown unhealthy. We couldn’t rely on each other all the time, so sleeping alone might be a better idea.
Chapter 9
Two weeks later
"I'm on my way home now," I said. Well, I was supposed to be on my way home. In reality, I was stuck in traffic and going absolutely nowhere. As one tended to do in LA. "Is Zane flying out with you? Been a while since we all got together."
Daniel hummed on the other end, always working these days. When I met him, he'd been Sophie's PA. Now, he ran his own management business and had employees in both New York and LA. Not too shabby for a guy under forty.
"No, he's wrapping up his last shoot," he replied. "He's looking forward to ex-model life." I could hear him typing quickly on his computer in the background. "After this year, I'm gonna slow down a bit, too. Did Sophie tell you we're adopting?"
I grinned tiredly and scrubbed a hand over my face. "She did. We've kinda been waiting for it."
He chuckled. "Yeah, Asher mentioned a damn bet." It was our thing. "Anyway, the reason I called you. Tennyson wants recommendations for a PA agency for Catching Stars . If you're happy with Nicky, I'll go with the one he's at. Less paperwork, and you just have to sign him over to another payroll."
"I honestly don't need a PA yet—or anymore, I guess." I yawned and went for my coffee. Fuck, lukewarm. "Is he on a contract?"
Technically, we were in pre-production at this point, but it was mostly Tennyson making calls. We had a location scout working too, and I was doing rewrites and storyboarding. Either way, no assistant needed.
"He's not, no, so I'll give him a call and thank him for his time." Daniel paused. "You sound tired as hell, man. Are you all right?"
No. "Sure," I answered. "Feels good to be back at work."
In truth, though, I was feeling depressed. Frustrated, stifled, rattled, and depressed.
I barely slept. I got two or three hours a night and spent the rest of the time talking to myself. That fucking dream… I'd had it on a few more occasions, and it shook me every time. Realistically, I knew I dreamed about Julian more because I was obsessing. If I'd been able to let it fucking go, maybe it wouldn’t be an issue.
Maybe I wouldn’t wake up hard as a rock for all the wrong reasons.
"Did you forget you're not the actor in our group of misfits?" Daniel asked dryly.
"Don't mother me, buddy," I chuckled. "I get enough of that from Sophie and Brook."
Tennyson was a man of his word. He hadn't told Sophie about my…fucked-up state…but that didn't mean she was blind. She could tell I was more tired than usual, quieter—or what she called broodier.
"I hear ya. Still, you know we're here," Daniel said. "Same goes for Julian. How's he doing?"
Same as me, which was worse. I hadn't wanted him to be hurt by me pulling away for no apparent reason, so I had been honest with him. Kinda honest. I'd told him about my concerns of codependency and how relying on each other too much could ultimately keep us from moving on.
From that moment on, we had both pretended . Everything was fine . Forced smiles, conversation too casual, insignificant topics. We remained close, but another type of distance had been wedged in between us. And that was on me.
"He's playing a lot," I told Daniel, which was true. Julian did play. Every night, I heard him on the baby grand. His sheet music and scribbled notes were all over the loft. I dug that. "I think he's formed some strange friendship with Tennyson, too."
It wasn't strange in that sense; I'd just figured he'd connect more with Sophie, for some reason. But Tennyson and Julian appeared to enjoy discussing film and music together.
"How's that strange?"
I shrugged even though he couldn’t see me. "I don't know. Maybe the age? Julian should be interested in finding friends his own age. Sophie and Zane are the only ones who come close in our group."
Daniel laughed.
Chapter 9
Two weeks later
"I'm on my way home now," I said. Well, I was supposed to be on my way home. In reality, I was stuck in traffic and going absolutely nowhere. As one tended to do in LA. "Is Zane flying out with you? Been a while since we all got together."
Daniel hummed on the other end, always working these days. When I met him, he'd been Sophie's PA. Now, he ran his own management business and had employees in both New York and LA. Not too shabby for a guy under forty.
"No, he's wrapping up his last shoot," he replied. "He's looking forward to ex-model life." I could hear him typing quickly on his computer in the background. "After this year, I'm gonna slow down a bit, too. Did Sophie tell you we're adopting?"
I grinned tiredly and scrubbed a hand over my face. "She did. We've kinda been waiting for it."
He chuckled. "Yeah, Asher mentioned a damn bet." It was our thing. "Anyway, the reason I called you. Tennyson wants recommendations for a PA agency for Catching Stars . If you're happy with Nicky, I'll go with the one he's at. Less paperwork, and you just have to sign him over to another payroll."
"I honestly don't need a PA yet—or anymore, I guess." I yawned and went for my coffee. Fuck, lukewarm. "Is he on a contract?"
Technically, we were in pre-production at this point, but it was mostly Tennyson making calls. We had a location scout working too, and I was doing rewrites and storyboarding. Either way, no assistant needed.
"He's not, no, so I'll give him a call and thank him for his time." Daniel paused. "You sound tired as hell, man. Are you all right?"
No. "Sure," I answered. "Feels good to be back at work."
In truth, though, I was feeling depressed. Frustrated, stifled, rattled, and depressed.
I barely slept. I got two or three hours a night and spent the rest of the time talking to myself. That fucking dream… I'd had it on a few more occasions, and it shook me every time. Realistically, I knew I dreamed about Julian more because I was obsessing. If I'd been able to let it fucking go, maybe it wouldn’t be an issue.
Maybe I wouldn’t wake up hard as a rock for all the wrong reasons.
"Did you forget you're not the actor in our group of misfits?" Daniel asked dryly.
"Don't mother me, buddy," I chuckled. "I get enough of that from Sophie and Brook."
Tennyson was a man of his word. He hadn't told Sophie about my…fucked-up state…but that didn't mean she was blind. She could tell I was more tired than usual, quieter—or what she called broodier.
"I hear ya. Still, you know we're here," Daniel said. "Same goes for Julian. How's he doing?"
Same as me, which was worse. I hadn't wanted him to be hurt by me pulling away for no apparent reason, so I had been honest with him. Kinda honest. I'd told him about my concerns of codependency and how relying on each other too much could ultimately keep us from moving on.
From that moment on, we had both pretended . Everything was fine . Forced smiles, conversation too casual, insignificant topics. We remained close, but another type of distance had been wedged in between us. And that was on me.
"He's playing a lot," I told Daniel, which was true. Julian did play. Every night, I heard him on the baby grand. His sheet music and scribbled notes were all over the loft. I dug that. "I think he's formed some strange friendship with Tennyson, too."
It wasn't strange in that sense; I'd just figured he'd connect more with Sophie, for some reason. But Tennyson and Julian appeared to enjoy discussing film and music together.
"How's that strange?"
I shrugged even though he couldn’t see me. "I don't know. Maybe the age? Julian should be interested in finding friends his own age. Sophie and Zane are the only ones who come close in our group."
Daniel laughed.
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