no good." If she lets it go at that—not correcting your false assertion—then you know that she either lied initially about her co-worker or will lie in this situation. Let's take another example. Your secretary asks you for the rest of the day off because she's not feeling well. You might say, "Oh, of course, if you've got a fever and a bad headache, by all means take off." She never claimed to have these symptoms. You merely expanded on her statement. Again, if she does not correct you, she is clearly either lying about being ill or willing to agree to anything to go home. Of course she may simply be sick and eager to get home. However, her not correcting your statement indicates that she does not mind being deceitful to get what she wants.
S P E C I A L OCCASIONS
These strategies are used when a person is reluctant to reveal information for unselfish reasons. Or the situation is such that you have to be very delicate in your approach. These people are coming from a different psychological position, so the situation must be addressed uniquely. The strategies usually fall into one of the following ten categories.
Third-Party Protection
This tactic is a little different in that it is used if someone is reluctant to tell you something that involves another person. You have to appeal to his ego and let him forget that he's telling tales out of school.
Scenario A
Your attorney is telling you about a case that a fellow attorney screwed up on. Simply asking, "What did he do wrong?" would probably get you nowhere. However, by turning it around you create an incentive for him to tell you.
Sample question formation: "Had you handled the case, what would you have done differently?" This magic phrase opens the floodgates of conversation.
Scenario B
While chatting with Brad, one of your salespeople, you would like to find out why Susan's sales figures are low. But simply asking him why she's not doing well might prove fruitless. Out of loyalty to her, he may be reluctant to say anything. So you turn the question around and he becomes completely forthcoming.
Sample question formation: "What areas do you think Susan can improve in?"
In both of these scenarios the conversation is positive.
The other person feels as if he's doing a good thing by answering your question. And in fact he is. Had you asked it the other way around, you would likely have met with great reluctance to speak.
2
The Power Play
Sometimes the person reluctant to tell the truth is in a position of power. In these situations it's usually inappropriate and futile to become argumentative. In these instances you want to bring the conversation to a personal level. Here are two examples of how this is done.
Scenario A
You're trying to sell to a buyer who doesn't want to buy and is not giving you a reason that you truly believe. Your objective will be to get to the real objection.
Sample question formation: "I do this for a living. My family relies on me to support them. Clearly we have a fine product and you're a reasonable man. Would you mind telling me what I did to offend you?"
Now your buyer is caught off guard and will undoubtedly follow with "Oh, you didn't offend me. It's just that. . ."
Offend is a powerful word. Now you'll get the real objection because he figures that telling you the truth is the only way to show you that you haven't offended him.
Scenario B
Your boss is reluctant to tell you exactly why you were passed up for the promotion.
Sample question formation: "Ms. Smith, I understand where you're coming from, and I respect your thoughts.
Someday I hope to be as successful in this company as you are today. Let me ask you one question, if I may? If you were me, sitting in this chair now, do you think that you would have a better chance of moving up in the company if you were aware of your shortcomings?"
3
Hurt Feelings
In this situation someone is lying to you to protect your feelings—perhaps one of those little white lies.
S P E C I A L OCCASIONS
These strategies are used when a person is reluctant to reveal information for unselfish reasons. Or the situation is such that you have to be very delicate in your approach. These people are coming from a different psychological position, so the situation must be addressed uniquely. The strategies usually fall into one of the following ten categories.
Third-Party Protection
This tactic is a little different in that it is used if someone is reluctant to tell you something that involves another person. You have to appeal to his ego and let him forget that he's telling tales out of school.
Scenario A
Your attorney is telling you about a case that a fellow attorney screwed up on. Simply asking, "What did he do wrong?" would probably get you nowhere. However, by turning it around you create an incentive for him to tell you.
Sample question formation: "Had you handled the case, what would you have done differently?" This magic phrase opens the floodgates of conversation.
Scenario B
While chatting with Brad, one of your salespeople, you would like to find out why Susan's sales figures are low. But simply asking him why she's not doing well might prove fruitless. Out of loyalty to her, he may be reluctant to say anything. So you turn the question around and he becomes completely forthcoming.
Sample question formation: "What areas do you think Susan can improve in?"
In both of these scenarios the conversation is positive.
The other person feels as if he's doing a good thing by answering your question. And in fact he is. Had you asked it the other way around, you would likely have met with great reluctance to speak.
2
The Power Play
Sometimes the person reluctant to tell the truth is in a position of power. In these situations it's usually inappropriate and futile to become argumentative. In these instances you want to bring the conversation to a personal level. Here are two examples of how this is done.
Scenario A
You're trying to sell to a buyer who doesn't want to buy and is not giving you a reason that you truly believe. Your objective will be to get to the real objection.
Sample question formation: "I do this for a living. My family relies on me to support them. Clearly we have a fine product and you're a reasonable man. Would you mind telling me what I did to offend you?"
Now your buyer is caught off guard and will undoubtedly follow with "Oh, you didn't offend me. It's just that. . ."
Offend is a powerful word. Now you'll get the real objection because he figures that telling you the truth is the only way to show you that you haven't offended him.
Scenario B
Your boss is reluctant to tell you exactly why you were passed up for the promotion.
Sample question formation: "Ms. Smith, I understand where you're coming from, and I respect your thoughts.
Someday I hope to be as successful in this company as you are today. Let me ask you one question, if I may? If you were me, sitting in this chair now, do you think that you would have a better chance of moving up in the company if you were aware of your shortcomings?"
3
Hurt Feelings
In this situation someone is lying to you to protect your feelings—perhaps one of those little white lies.
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