Nether Regions by Nat Burns

paper towels for sterilization at home. “He’ll be hurting in the morning. I left a bottle of pills on the counter. Two every six hours and take his temperature each time. Call me if it’s up. And no drinking. Make sure, okay?”
    “I want to give you this.”
    Sophie looked at the money lying in Doris’s hand. It was a sizeable wad. “That’s too much, Doris. You know I take barter. It doesn’t have to be cash.”
    Even as she said it, she thought about the electric bill, the phone bill and the pharmacy bill, all requiring money.
    “We’re doing good, lately. Alvin moved up and got an increase. I wish you’d take this.” She pushed the money toward Sophie. “It’s a couple hundred and I know you need it to help you go on with the good you do. We can spare it.”
    Sophie studied Doris’s kind face. She had put on a little weight during the past few years but still was an attractive woman. She looked like pictures of Mrs. Santa Claus. She wore heavy gold jewelry at her ears, neck and fingers.
    “All right,” Sophie sighed. “If you’re sure. It’ll help a lot.”
    Doris smiled and turned to help Sophie pack her backpack. They talked about Alvin’s follow-up care and Sophie promised to return in two days. They would decide then when he could return to work. Doris promised she’d keep Al down until Sophie saw him again.
    “He’ll just have to use up some of his vacation time. It’s what he gets for going on about the damn hamburgers. Doesn’t he realize eating raw hamburger can make him sick?”
    Sophie smiled. “Looks like eating well-cooked hamburgers isn’t doing him too much good either.”
    Doris laughed as she saw Sophie to the door. “Well, most of the time the burgers don’t come with a stabbing. Tonight was dinner and theater.”
    The two women laughed together, and Sophie paused on the front stoop, shivering slightly in the coolish early morning air. “Next time, don’t take matters into your own hands, Doris. If Al had died you’d be shed of one set of problems but troubled by a whole new set.”
    Doris pursed her lips and nodded, letting Sophie know it was a point well taken. “I’ll remember. Thank you again, Miss Sophie. Tell Miss Beulah hello for us, okay?”
    Sophie nodded and slid into her car, shutting the door carefully so she wouldn’t disturb the neighbors.

Chapter Fourteen
    “Hey, lover boy.” The voice on the phone was low and husky and undeniably desirable. Stephen felt ridiculously happy to hear from his partner.
    “Right? Is that you?” Stephen hated the chirpy sound of his voice. “Where are you?”
    “Just getting up. How’s your day going?” He yawned as if presenting evidence of sleeping in.
    Stephen glanced about the littered office of Backslant Publishing and wondered how his day was going. Kind of pointless, really. “It’s all right, honey. Going on as usual. Are you getting ready for work?”
    “No, not yet. I still have a couple hours. Listen, I was thinking. What would you say to us moving? Going somewhere else to live?”
    Stephen sat up straighter in his chair, his eyes fixating on a washed-out print of the Rhine River in Germany. “What do you mean?”
    “You and me. Moving. I was thinking I would love to go on down to Key West like we used to talk about. Didn’t you love it there when we visited?”
    “Yeah, I did.” Stephen swallowed and surprising tears blurred his gaze. He thought of his job, leaving it and looking for a new one. He thought about changing insurance, taking lower pay and losing seniority.
    “Yes, let’s do it,” he answered firmly.
    Righteous was silent a long time. “You mean it, Stephen?”
    “Home is where you are, Righteous.” Stephen had buried his face in his free hand.
    Righteous sighed as if he’d been holding his breath a long time. “I’ll put my notice in today. Do we have enough in the bank to do this? Put money down on a new place and all?”
    Stephen laughed gently. It was so like Righteous not