Nearly Broken by Devon Ashley

pulled
over me just didn’t provide the warmth and comfort his body
had. I sat up, my heavy eyelids trying to focus on the dimly lit
apartment. Light was shining outside, but it wasn’t squeezing
brightly past the edges of the blinds, so I knew morning had already
come and gone.
    Nick was sitting on
the sofa, his back to me, head pointing down. “Nick?” I
called softly, even the muscles controlling my mouth was still numb
with sleep.
    He turned his upper
torso, a small smile trying to form. “Hey,” he replied
softly back. “How are you feeling?”
    “Sleepy.”
I tossed the blanket off me and swung my legs off the bed.
    Nick bent over and
disappeared a split second before he arose from the sofa, his sights
set on me now. “Then why are you getting out of bed? Go back to
sleep.” He sat down beside me and my body involuntarily swayed
toward him as the bed sank. His arm reached around my shoulders and I
leaned my head against his neck, a trace of cologne lingering from
the night before. I felt really dazed.
    What did I do? I told
him. Every thing. Admitting that was like baring a huge piece
of my soul, and I felt more naked than ever. I had shared that
horrible secret, and the ugliness inside me, thinking it would run
him off, leaving him so repulsed he’d throw me away like the
used tissue that I was.
    But it didn’t.
He was still here, still trying to wrap his arms around me, to
comfort me.
    Even worse, I was
relieved, my body aching for the touch he supplied me, like the
relief that followed when an addict gave into temptation during
withdrawal.
    But my nightmare was
far from over. Even though I had admitted the cause of my pain, of
the torturing images that would haunt me until the day I died, it
didn’t alter the truth of my worst fear. That I had killed, and
there was someone out there that knew that, someone who was probably
just as cruel and sinister as the one who burned. I buried my head in
my hands and hung my neck. “What if I’m not seeing things
and that guy really is out there somewhere? Looking for me?”
    “I stand by what
I said before. If he had any way of tracking you, he’d have
found you by now.”
    Oh, how I wanted to
believe every single one of those words. To think that I could walk
away, move forward and make some attempt at a life.
    He must have sensed
the hesitation in my sigh, because he gingerly tilted my chin until
we were eye to eye. “You’re safe with me. I promise I’ll
protect you.” I moaned when his forehead pressed against mine,
his hand reaching over to caress my cheek, our lips brushing so
softly that I actually believed the passion behind those words.
    “But be honest
with me. Did you ever talk to someone about what happened? I mean
about what happened before your last day? ” he skirted.
    My head swayed lazily.
After being taken to the hospital, it wasn’t easy avoiding the
staff to sneak back out, as the pain killers they managed to get in
me before I could rip out that IV made me lethargic. My arms and
abdomen had been wrapped up at least, but I had nothing on my back
but a hospital gown. I had to risk getting caught entering a staff
locker room to dig some used scrubs out of the laundry bin near the
door. I suppose I could have ventured farther in to find fresh ones,
but the risk just wasn’t worth it.
    It wasn’t long
before I stumbled upon a girl my age working the street. I think she
knew, like she could read it in my eyes, see it by the way I wrapped
myself up in my arms and had trouble making eye contact. She told me
about a women’s shelter she knew would take me in. I don’t
know what would’ve happened to me if they hadn’t. They
gave me food, clothes…even let me help out for two weeks so I
could earn the cash that paid for my ticket out of there. Luckily,
they had a nurse that volunteered for them, and she was able to help
me deal with the pain and apply clean dressings for my burns. The
women there wanted to help me more, but I wouldn’t