My Special Forces Boyfriend Trilogy by Tiffany Madison Page B

against mine and then slowly pulled away, looking me in the eyes.
    “I’m sorry, Lindsey,” he said. “I can’t do this. Not yet. Not now.”
    What the fuck?
    I was quickly becoming less sad and more angry. I had been one of the most popular girls in school and here I was, practically throwing myself at Alex, to no avail. He must have seen the anger in my eyes, because he immediately apologized again.
    “I’m sorry, baby,” he said. “I just don’t think that we should do this when we both know I’m leaving in the morning. I want our first time to be special and not forced. Besides, I won’t be gone for long.”
    I placed my hands on Alex’s chest and pushed him away from me, immediately closing my legs, shutting him out and away from my sex.
    “Goddammit, Alex,” I shouted, with anger and desperation in my voice. “Why are you being like this? You’re acting like such a little pussy. Just fuck me!”
    My flower was throbbing in my crotch. I had gotten so turned on, only to be let down, like always.
    Alex reached to the floor and picked up his t-shirt, pulling it back over his head.
    “I’m really, really sorry, Lindsey,” he said. “I just don’t want to hurt you. I want our first time to be sacred and this just isn’t the right time. Can you please respect that?”
    I stood up from the bed for the first time that evening. Alex was standing in front of me with a calm expression on his face, uninfluenced by my emotional storm. Suddenly, I just unleashed on him. I slapped him once in the face and then began pounding on his chest; my hands balled up into tightly clenched fists.
    “Why?” I shouted. “Why in the fuck are you doing this to me?”
    Alex stood there, not backing down against my punishment. Then he reached his arms around me and held me close. I dropped my hands, realizing that hurting him physically was not going to get me what I wanted.
    “I just don’t want you to leave,” I said, as I began to slowly let my guard down. “This isn’t how it was supposed to be, Alex. We were supposed to get married and have kids and live the dream life that we had always talked about.”
    Alex held me close, affectionately rubbing my back with one hand. I could hear his heartbeat in my ear.
    “I promise I won’t be gone for long,” he said. “I swear that I’ll be back soon and when I get home, we’ll get married and make this relationship legitimate. We just have to be patient right now.”
    I closed my eyes and slowly nodded in agreement.
    “Okay,” I whispered. “Okay...”
    Alex kissed the top of my head and then placed his hands on my shoulders, prying me away from him.
    “Look at me,” he said.
    I wiped the tears from my eyes and looked up at him, just like he had asked.
    “Promise me,” he continued. “That you’ll wait for me, no matter what.”
    I swallowed and wiped my cheek once more, causing the mascara to smear across my skin. I took a deep breath and thought about what he was proposing: A promise. A promise that said he would be my one and only, despite the fact that he was going to be leaving for an unknown length of time. It wasn’t an easy promise to make, but since I didn’t believe that there was anybody else in this world for me besides Alex, I gave him the only appropriate response I could think of, for better or for worse:
    “I promise,” I whispered.
    ***
    T wo years passed. I had left home to go to a private college, which was in a neighboring state, but still hours away from my hometown. I didn’t know anybody there and the change was difficult for me. My anchor in life, Alex, was no longer there to help keep me grounded and I was forced to venture out of my comfort zone all by myself.
    And to make matters worse, as soon as Alex finished boot camp, he was sent to war overseas. So the last time that I had seen him in person was in his bedroom, right after high school graduation.
    We had kept in touch, through emails and the occasional written letter. But