My Special Forces Boyfriend, Part 1
A lex and I had first met in the second grade. I don’t recall exactly when or where our first words were spoken to each other, but I think it may have been in Mrs. Rosenberg’s English class. I was seated behind him, one row back from the very front. I used to daydream about him, long before I ever worked up the courage to actually talk to him. I remember thinking about his amazing smile and his black hair that was always combed neatly to the side.
Years went by, and Alex and I started to talk more and more. All through elementary and middle school, we were inseparable. Still, though, we remained only friends. He dated other girls and I dated other guys. But even so, I often spent time wondering why Alex and I weren’t together. My friends wondered the same thing. Our connection was deep and we got along amazingly. And something in my gut told me that it was meant to be.
So in high school, I finally worked up the courage to talk to him about it. Alex smiled wide and said “yes,” the moment that I mentioned the idea of me being his girlfriend. It was like he had been waiting our whole lives for me to ask.
That was sophomore year. We were young and naïve. The whole world and our whole lives were ahead of us. We were invincible and connected on every level, spending every waking moment together.
It was perfect.
Until it all fell apart.
***
“L indsey, what do you want me to do?” Alex shouted, as he paced back and forth in his room, the door closed so that we wouldn’t wake up his parents. “It’s too late. There’s nothing I can do about it. I already signed the freaking papers.”
Tears welled up in my eyes as I sat on his bed. Anger, frustration and mostly sadness filled my body, overwhelming me with emotion. I did my best to swallow it down and then I spoke.
“Alex...” I said. “Why didn’t you talk to me about this? Why did you wait until we graduated high school to tell me that you were signing up for the fucking military? You told me that you were going to marry me.”
Alex continued pacing, his skinny arms poking out of his over-sized t-shirt as he moved quickly back and forth across the small bedroom. His black hair was combed to the side, just like it always was. He looked as nerdy, but as cute, as ever and even though I was unimaginably pissed, I still couldn’t deny my attraction to him.
“Listen,” he said, as he finally stopped pacing and took a seat on the chair that was in front of his desk. “Just listen to me, Lindsey.”
Then he turned to face me, resting his elbows on his knees and looking me straight in the eyes.
“I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you right away about me joining the military,” Alex said. “I know that I should have, but I also know that you would have done everything you could have to talk me out of it. And it’s the right thing for me to do. It’s also the right thing for you and I, at least in the long run. You know that I wouldn’t have gotten accepted into any good college, so the military is my only shot at making something out of myself and being able to support you in the way that you deserve.”
The tears that had been building in my eyes finally overflowed and began sliding down my cheeks, taking my black mascara with them.
“Alex,” I said. “I thought you loved me and wanted to be with me.”
Alex closed his eyes and I could tell that he was holding back some tears of his own.
“I love you more than anything, Lindsey,” he said. “That’s why I decided to join the Navy in the first place.”
I brought the back of my hand up to my face and rubbed it across my cheeks, attempting to dry my tears.
“I just wish you would have told me, Alex,” I said. “You’re always so secretive. You’re my boyfriend. Out of respect, you could have at least told me what was going on. I wouldn’t have tried to talk you out of it and even if I did, it would have been for your own good.”
Alex brought his
A lex and I had first met in the second grade. I don’t recall exactly when or where our first words were spoken to each other, but I think it may have been in Mrs. Rosenberg’s English class. I was seated behind him, one row back from the very front. I used to daydream about him, long before I ever worked up the courage to actually talk to him. I remember thinking about his amazing smile and his black hair that was always combed neatly to the side.
Years went by, and Alex and I started to talk more and more. All through elementary and middle school, we were inseparable. Still, though, we remained only friends. He dated other girls and I dated other guys. But even so, I often spent time wondering why Alex and I weren’t together. My friends wondered the same thing. Our connection was deep and we got along amazingly. And something in my gut told me that it was meant to be.
So in high school, I finally worked up the courage to talk to him about it. Alex smiled wide and said “yes,” the moment that I mentioned the idea of me being his girlfriend. It was like he had been waiting our whole lives for me to ask.
That was sophomore year. We were young and naïve. The whole world and our whole lives were ahead of us. We were invincible and connected on every level, spending every waking moment together.
It was perfect.
Until it all fell apart.
***
“L indsey, what do you want me to do?” Alex shouted, as he paced back and forth in his room, the door closed so that we wouldn’t wake up his parents. “It’s too late. There’s nothing I can do about it. I already signed the freaking papers.”
Tears welled up in my eyes as I sat on his bed. Anger, frustration and mostly sadness filled my body, overwhelming me with emotion. I did my best to swallow it down and then I spoke.
“Alex...” I said. “Why didn’t you talk to me about this? Why did you wait until we graduated high school to tell me that you were signing up for the fucking military? You told me that you were going to marry me.”
Alex continued pacing, his skinny arms poking out of his over-sized t-shirt as he moved quickly back and forth across the small bedroom. His black hair was combed to the side, just like it always was. He looked as nerdy, but as cute, as ever and even though I was unimaginably pissed, I still couldn’t deny my attraction to him.
“Listen,” he said, as he finally stopped pacing and took a seat on the chair that was in front of his desk. “Just listen to me, Lindsey.”
Then he turned to face me, resting his elbows on his knees and looking me straight in the eyes.
“I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you right away about me joining the military,” Alex said. “I know that I should have, but I also know that you would have done everything you could have to talk me out of it. And it’s the right thing for me to do. It’s also the right thing for you and I, at least in the long run. You know that I wouldn’t have gotten accepted into any good college, so the military is my only shot at making something out of myself and being able to support you in the way that you deserve.”
The tears that had been building in my eyes finally overflowed and began sliding down my cheeks, taking my black mascara with them.
“Alex,” I said. “I thought you loved me and wanted to be with me.”
Alex closed his eyes and I could tell that he was holding back some tears of his own.
“I love you more than anything, Lindsey,” he said. “That’s why I decided to join the Navy in the first place.”
I brought the back of my hand up to my face and rubbed it across my cheeks, attempting to dry my tears.
“I just wish you would have told me, Alex,” I said. “You’re always so secretive. You’re my boyfriend. Out of respect, you could have at least told me what was going on. I wouldn’t have tried to talk you out of it and even if I did, it would have been for your own good.”
Alex brought his
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