The Memories of Ana Calderón by Graciela Limón

to one another while at the factory. In the meantime, Ana’s fears mounted with each day. She had no doubt now that she was pregnant, and she was intensely aware of Alejandra’s scrutiny. She sensed that her father, too, was studying her, keeping his eyes on her while she was not looking. This happened especially when she was in the kitchen, during her turns to cook or wash the dishes.
    Except for the constant chatter of the younger children, conversation was strained between the older ones, and Octavio, whose face was tightly drawn and nervous, hardly spoke to anyone. The days dragged by for Ana until she couldn’t tolerate the strain of not knowing what to do next. During one of their lunch breaks at the factory, she asked Octavio to sit alone with her.
    â€œIf you’re afraid to tell ’Apá, I’ll tell him.”
    â€œNo! Are you, crazy or something, Ana?” Nearly jumping up from the bench, Octavio hissed the words through clenched teeth. His brow furrowed with near terror. “I said I would tell him, and I will! Jesus…Ana…why are you trying to push me around? Give me time, please! I promised that I’ll tell him, and I will!”
    â€œI don’t have time, Tavo, don’t you understand? Here, look for yourself.” Ana lifted the apron she was wearing. A noticeable bulge raised her dress at the waist. “This is growing every day…every minute!”
    â€œ
¡Ay, Dios!
” Octavio groaned as he wrung his hands.
    When he didn’t say anymore, Ana spoke, “What’s thematter with you? I don’t understand why you’re afraid to tell ’Apá. He knows that all of us are eventually going to get married and have babies. That’s all he’s been telling me ever since I can remember. He’ll say it’s okay for us to marry. Honest to God, Tavo, I don’t understand why you’re scared.”
    â€œBecause I’m like your brother, that’s why. Your father will kill me! He’ll say that’s why he didn’t want me to come with the family when you left Puerto Real. Besides, what will Alejandra say?”
    Octavio’s claim to be as close as a brother faded when he mentioned Alejandra’s name. Stunned at what he had just let out, she felt as if her breath had been knocked out of her. “Alejandra! Alejan…What does she have to do with this? Tell me, Tavo! What does my sister have to do with this?” Ana had raised her voice so that several of the other workers began to stare in their direction.
    Intimidated, Octavio made shushing sounds as he tried to calm Ana by nervously patting her shoulders. At the same time, he smiled sheepishly at the people looking at them. He lowered his voice, almost to a whisper, “Forget I said that, Ana. I didn’t mean it.”
    She looked at the floor, thinking about what Octavio had just said. Suddenly she stood; her voice was calm and steady. “It’s an excuse. This brother thing is just your way out, isn’t it Tavo? You have something going on with my sister, don’t you? That’s why you don’t want anybody to know about me and you.”
    Ana took a few steps away from Octavio, but then she turned, coming close to him again. “Well, whatever it is, Tavo, I’m going to tell you one thing. This is yours,” she pointed at her belly, “and you’re not going to get out of it.”
    She worked the rest of the day as if in a dream. She was numb and her body seemed to be made of stone. She felt nothing; the only sensation she was aware of was coldness. Her insides were freezing, as were her hands, but her forehead, despite her shivering, was beaded with perspiration. During the hours she passed in inspecting shoes, Ana resolved that she wouldn’t do or say anything. She decided that there was nothing she could do to change things or to avoid whatever it was that was going to happen to her.
    Two months passed