MWF Seeking BFF by Rachel Bertsche

in Chicago? Or just visiting?”
    “No, I live in Miami. But I go to school at Notre Dame, so I’m driving once I get to O’Hare.”
    “Oh, what year are you?” Please say graduate school.
    “Freshman.”
    Huh. That means she’s 18. I thought maybe 28. I would make a horrible bouncer.
    At the new gate, she pulls out a magazine and we part ways. I don’t think an 18-year-old student in Indiana is what I’m looking for. Still, it’s clear I’m getting friendlier. She’s the second person I’ve chatted with in a situation where I would normally give a terse response and run. The first was at the gym, when a 20-something girl in the locker room asked me what I paid for my membership. Turned out she was on the family payment plan with her boyfriend, who recently broke up with her, and she was trying to figure out if she could afford to still belong.
    “We bought our condo together, too,” she said. “We were so young and stupid. I was twenty-one and he was twenty-four. Now my credit is shot, and my parents had to co-sign my newlease and they’re totally freaking out.” This is more information than I would usually want from a stranger, especially at 7 A.M. My workout has always been me-time. But instead of cutting the conversation short (“Well, good luck! Gotta grab a treadmill!”) I told her about my apartment-buying hassles. I’ve developed the “you never know where your best friend will come from” mind-set. Nothing came of it, but I was flexing the talk-to-strangers muscle. It’s a vital exercise in its own right.
    After seeing what I’m missing in New York, I’m even more determined to turn one of my dates from potential-friend to friend. So when I get an email Monday about a film screening that Wednesday, I stop myself before calling my mom. She’s my go-to for romantic comedies since Matt’s not the rom-com type. She’ll always say yes to a last-minute movie. But that’s how I got into this predicament. Now, with a handful of almost-friends, I figure it’s a perfect follow-up date. I email Hannah, but she already has plans. I try Hilary. She has a training run. Margot, who’s in school part-time, has a test the next day. Kim has work.
    Wow. People are really booked. I guess when they have workouts, job, errands, and school to attend to, going to a weekday movie with a friend seems a bit luxurious. It doesn’t feel productive.
    Teenagers spend nearly 33 percent of their time with friends, but that number drops to less than 10 percent for adults. When we do have time for friends, most people would rather spend it with already-established BFFs than having to be “on” with a possible new one. Because when we’re not busy, we’re tired. And even though 85 percent of adults feel less stressed and more energized after they’ve spent time with friends, thecouch is still much more inviting after a hard day’s work. In his book
Bowling Alone
, Robert Putnam wrote, “Visits with friends are now on the social capital endangered species list.” Sad.
    Even though I’m dedicating my year to making a new best friend, the potential BFFs aren’t. I respond to all the declines to my offer with a counteroffer. Want to have brunch this weekend? Drinks next week? Go to another cooking class or yoga Sunday night? Making the second round of plans takes another exchange of back-and-forth emails, but I get a dinner with Margot—plus our men!—on the books, and a potential brunch plan with Hilary. The ball is rolling.
    I end up bringing Becca, the friend of a friend who was just … nice … to the movie. First dates can be uncomfortable, and we have two friends in common, so maybe we were merely out of sync last time. During pre-movie chatter, she asks if I have anyone to set her up with, so I throw out my friend David, the same guy I mentioned to Hannah weeks ago. Becca’s intrigued. I promise to investigate his relationship status.
    After the girl talk, we fall silent. We’re both looking around