Murder Has Nine Lives by Laura Levine Page A

tether him back down to earth. “She’s terrified she’s going to be arrested for Dean’s murder.”
    â€œI know,” Lance said. “I spoke to her earlier. I’ve been worried sick.”
    Whaddaya know? A little empathy from Mr. Moi.
    â€œYou think she can work on my contract from jail?”
    So much for empathy.
    â€œLance, for once in your life, can you think of somebody other than yourself?”
    â€œWhat’re you talking about? I’m always thinking of others. Why, just last week I donated an old tuxedo to a homeless shelter.”
    â€œHow very thoughtful.”
    â€œAnyhow,” he said, plopping down on my sofa, “I just hope this whole murder thing gets wrapped up soon. Do you have any idea who might have done it?”
    â€œI hate to say it, but so far, my leading suspect is Deedee. She had motive, and a can of Raid.”
    â€œYour leading suspect? Don’t tell me you’re doing your PI impersonation again.”
    â€œIt’s not an impersonation, and yes, I’m doing it.”
    â€œFor crying out loud, Jaine. You almost got bumped off last year, tracking down the killer at that beauty pageant. Did you not learn anything from that whole experience?”
    â€œHow to tape a bathing suit to your tush so you don’t get a wedgie.”
    â€œSeriously, Jaine,” he said, his eyes wide with concern. “You’ve got to promise me you’ll be careful.”
    â€œI promise.”
    â€œDo you want my help? I could come along and protect you. Along with my impeccable fashion sense, I’ve got remarkably keen powers of deduction.”
    Oh, glug. The last thing I needed was Lance playing Poirot at my side.
    â€œThanks, Lance. But I can handle this.”
    â€œJust don’t get yourself hurt. I don’t know what I’d do without you, sweetie.”
    With that he took me in his arms and wrapped me in a fuzzy bear hug.
    See? Moments like these are why I put up with the guy.
    â€œOops. I’m crushing my ascot,” he said, breaking away from our embrace. “Must run. I’m off to the salon to add more highlights to my hair. I can’t decide which color to go with: Sun Kissed or Ash Blond. What do you think?”
    â€œAsh Blond.”
    â€œSun Kissed, it is!”
    And off he sailed, my aggravating bestie.
    I headed back to the bedroom where I found Prozac staring at the bedspread, her chicken tenders still untouched.
    New Age or not, I really had to give that Reiki healing thing a shot.
    As I settled down next to Pro, scratching her behind the ears, the phone rang.
    I picked it up to hear:“Hey, Jaine. It’s me. Jim Angelides.”
    Omigosh. Phil’s cutie pie nephew. I’d just about given up on him.
    â€œI know it’s the last minute, but I was wondering if you’re free for dinner tomorrow.”
    Forget about it. Absolutely not. I knew the rules. I couldn’t possibly let him think I was available at such short notice. I’d play it cool and tell him I was sorry but I had other plans.
    You know where this is going, right?
    â€œPick me up at seven,” were the words I actually uttered.
    Maybe when the Reiki healer showed up, she could work on my backbone.

    YOU’VE GOT MAIL!
    Â 
    Â 
    To: Jausten
From: DaddyO
Subject: Still Missing
    Â 
    Dearest Lambchop—
    Â 
    Your diligent daddy has been hard at work trying to memorize the Scrabble dictionary, but it’s just not the same without my Lucky Thinking Cap, which, I’m sorry to say, is still missing.
    Â 
    I know Lydia has it stashed away somewhere, but so far I’ve had no opportunity to retrieve it. Unfortunately the battle-axe has recently installed a high-tech security system, thwarting my efforts to bust into her stronghold and do a thorough search of the premises.
    Â 
    But today, at last, I got a lucky break. As I was driving back from the market with a fresh supply of gherkins, I