The Heart of Mine by Amanda Bennett

warm salty tears mix with the warm trickling water of my shower, as I found it in myself to accept that I may have to live my life without Madison. I dressed extremely slow and made sure that I looked the best I could for him. Whether or not he could see me or even feel my presence, I wanted him to know that this would not defeat me.
    It would only hurt him more if I chose to give up. I applied a minimal amount of lip gloss and mascara before I exited the bathroom and pulled on each boot. I was wearing his favorite outfit today, the only one that pretty much fit anymore. The yellow and white stripes accentuated my growing breasts and I knew if Madison was able to speak, he would make some crass remark that would eventually lead to sex and my heart began to hurt.
    I pushed aside all thoughts of the intimacy I longed to feel with him, long enough to make my way downstairs to eat a bite of dinner. When I reached the bottom step, the first person that came into view was Lydia. I couldn't help running to her and holding on to every fiber of her being. It was as though a piece of Madison sat deep within her, and a feeling of love took over my every move.
    "Look at you, honey. That belly of yours gets bigger every time I see you. Pregnancy agrees with you, my dear." I stood back as her fragile fingers encircled my belly, stroking it back and forth. "She's gonna look just like you."
    I smiled down at Madison's grandmother, wishing she was wrong. I wanted a boy. A little boy that would look exactly like the father he may never know. I needed that to go on. I needed a piece of him left with me, if he was going to no longer be with me.
    I grabbed a corn muffin from the counter and gathered my things.
    "And where do you think you're goin'?"
    My granddad should understand where and what I was doin'. He was acting out of character and I couldn't figure out why, until I saw Joey standin' in our doorway.
    "I'm goin' to the hospital. I'll be home later."
    I didn't wait for a response before I made my way over to Joey. "Thank you." I whispered in his direction.
    "Anything I can do to help."

Chapter 19
    Madison
    I could smell her the minute she walked through the elevator doors. Her strawberry scent assaulted my nose and I smiled internally. After the events of yesterday, I was afraid she wouldn't come back. I was afraid she would no longer want me in the current state I was in.
    What I didn't expect was for Joey Green, to come strutting through the door with her. I looked past Joey and straight at my wife-to-be one day. She was wearing my favorite sundress and boots and if I wasn't in a vegetative state, I'm pretty sure certain parts of me would have reacted in an appropriate manor. Her belly was getting bigger by the day and her dress did absolutely nothing to hide it anymore. She looked beyond words. I wanted to reach out and pull her into me. I needed to feel her warm skin against mine.
    She pressed her hand against Joey's chest and I couldn't help but notice the way he reacted to her. We were gonna have some serious issues when I finally woke the fuck up, if he kept up his "friendly" ways.
    He hesitantly backed out of the room, leavin' just the two of us. Her long beautiful brown hair was curled and pulled to one side, showin' off that long beautiful neck I longed to lay my lips upon. Her small hand slid into mine and my hand reacted involuntarily. I watched as her face lit up with joy, exactly as my grandmother's had. She glanced up at my face, waiting for it to react the same. When a couple minutes had passed and there was no response, I couldn't help the disappointment that washed over me as she realized it was just a fluke reaction.
    A stray tear fell down her cheek, but her finger was quick to brush it away. I wanted to be the one to wipe it away. I wanted to be the one that was comforting her.
    "I wore your favorite dress today." She whispered. "I know you can't see me in it, but my belly is gettin' too big for any of my other