Mummy Where Are You? (Revised Edition, new) by Jeanne D'Olivier Page A

sign of anyone from the Island - not even M’s father.  Dan felt this would also strengthen our position as it would appear as a lack of interest on his part.  It was clear why he hadn't come out though.  He knew that anyone witnessing M's distress at seeing him, would have seen the truth.
                  We filed in quietly and sat subdued in the Court room.  Our hearts sank as the Judge who had been at the first hearing walked in, her face emotionless and cold.  I tried to reach her gaze and hoped she could see the love in my heart, but she did not look at me once.  Dan loomed large next to me – an imposing figure in his Court attire.  It was the CAS lawyer who got to speak first and I sat there with every word wounding me as she made their case – a case based on all the lies that had been perpetrated by the Social Worker – a case built on hearsay evidence from biased people trying to protect their jobs, with not a thought for a little boy whose life had been smashed to pieces from the day he confided to his Mummy, what his Daddy had done – whose world had been turned upside down for daring to say that he wanted it to stop.
                  The hearing went on for most of the day.  Dan was convincing and strong in Court.  He pulled no punches.  He pointed out the lies, he painted a glowing picture of the relationship M and I shared.  He criticised the CAS and he focused on M’s rights and mine.  Listening to him, I looked for a flicker of understanding in the face of the Judge, but saw only frigidity, boredom and disinterest.  I wondered if she was even listening.  I hoped I would be called to give evidence and she could see that I was a well-educated, articulate woman who loved and lived for her son.  Dan said I might be called, but that he could not ask for this, it was down to the Judge as to whether she wanted to hear from me and she did not ask me to give evidence. I was not sure if my evidence would have helped or not, but I longed for an opportunity to show her I was not some crazy woman who had acted on a misguided whim, but a mother trying to protect her only child from harm.
                  The day drew to a close.  The Judge told us she would be giving a written Judgement in the next few days.  All we could do now was to go back to the house that we had longed to make our home and wait in agony for the verdict.
                  Dad and I took trips around the area to fill the time and distract ourselves as best we could.  It was fruitless but we had to get through the next few days somehow as we waited for the call that would seal M's fate and my own. 
                  We had bought Miriam’s car from her as without an American license I couldn't get insurance and we were spending a fortune on hire cars.  The car would stay in Miriam’s name, but in effect, be mine.  It seemed a good solution and we had done this believing that M would be kept in America even if he did not immediately return to me.  We thought too, that they must surely need to get an expert opinion from an Independent child psychologist.  Whilst staying in foster care, would be hard for M, if it led to him being kept with me, it would be short term pain for a long term future of happiness.   It would be preferable to him being returned to potential harm and perhaps being forced to live immediately with his father.
                  Even though we drove miles and explored the area, our thoughts stayed firmly on the case.  Sitting in the house made everything worse, as all we could do was brood.  Being away from the house did nothing to ease this, but it helped to pass the interminable hours. The weekend seemed to last forever and life had become surreal and Kafkaesque.  We were a far cry from the idyllic life we had once had. Our surroundings were alien, our life had turned upside down overnight and we were vague somnambulists waiting to wake