Mummy Where Are You? (Revised Edition, new) by Jeanne D'Olivier

but he allowed some past childhood sibling jealousy or rivalry to prevent him doing what was best for M.  He could not get past his own feelings towards me for what he seemed to see as preferential treatment by my parents towards me as the youngest in the family.  It was a warped view and not even accurate, but in his mind it clearly was a factor and instead of thinking of my innocent child, he allowed that to prevent him from helping us – something I have found hard to forgive.
                  Dan still remained optimistic.  He believed we would be able to stay in America for the immediate future if not forever.  The Fall school term was due to start and if M was placed in school it would strengthen our position as far as staying.  Dan believed they would have to enrol him, but when the term started, they did not.  The CAS lawyer was clearly confident that M would be returned to the Island.
                  The date of the hearing loomed  and Dad flew back out to give me support.  At least this meant he could see M who was delighted to see him too.  We prayed hard for the right outcome and went to Church with our new friends.  The congregation offered up prayers for us and everyone told us to believe and have faith that M would be returned to me.  Nothing else made any sense and they surely had to consider M’s wishes and feelings.  We firmly believed, as did Dan that the United States Courts would not risk sending him back to potentially suffer further abuse.  They could not take the chance of getting this wrong. 
                  We didn't know who would be sitting on our case, but it was likely to be one of two female Judges.  One of them, the stern-faced Judge who had been present at the first hearing and the other, a Judge who had ruled to keep a mother and child in America on another case where the mother had run.  We prayed to get the second Judge as having made this ruling in the past, we felt she would be more sympathetic. 
                  The morning of the hearing came.  I had contact with M at the CAS for two hours before hand.  It was so hard because if the Court ruled against us, it might be last time I saw him for a while.  I held my tears back as I held him close to me and told him that everything would be alright.  He said that he was looking forward to going to school in America and believed he would be coming back to me, seeking reassurance that this would be the case.  I did my best to overcome the doubt in my heart and said I was sure that everything would be fine and  we would be back together soon.  Deep down I feared the worst.  No one had ever listened to either us - was anyone going to listen to us here, thousands of miles from home?  Would the Judge even look at the papers?  Would she read my medical notes and damn me for something that happened in the dim distant past, something that should not have happened?  Or would she see the love that existed between M and I and focus on our right to be together? 
                  We produced the scrapbook that M and I had so lovingly put together as evidence of this great love – pictures of our past life to, notes he had written and drawings he'd done of he and I holding hands.  If the Judge was a mother, would she find it in her heart to cherish this love as we did and not want to cause my innocent little boy even more pain?  I sent silent prayers to God – a God I had long since ceased to believe in – desperately willing myself to have some faith that the Judge would see this for what it was, a grave case of injustice.
                  Miriam and Bill came to the Court to wait with us.  Bill, a deeply religious man turned over pages in his bible as we waited.  Miriam, not so inclined, offered her bright positive attitude of total faith in the truth prevailing.  Each in their own way offered their support which we gratefully accepted.  There was no