Ms. Todd Is Odd! by Dan Gutman Page B

regular person. Our bus driver, Mrs. Kormel, speaks in a secret language. Instead ofsaying “hello” like everybody else, she says, “Bingle boo.” Mrs. Kormel is not normal.
    â€œHi, Ms. Todd,” said little Miss Gifted and Talented. “My name is Andrea. I love the shoes you’re wearing.”
    Andrea wasn’t wasting any time before starting in with her brownnosing. I hate her.
    â€œWhy, thank you!” exclaimed Ms. Todd. “That’s very sweet of you to say. I like your shoes too, Andrea.”
    Andrea totally didn’t know how you’re supposed to treat subs. You’re supposed to torture them! That’s the first rule of being a kid. My friend Billy who livesaround the corner told me that whenever a sub turns her back, his whole class starts coughing * for no reason. He said it drives the sub crazy.
    Ms. Todd went to write her name on the board. As soon as she turned around and wrote MS ., I started coughing for no reason.
    Ms. Todd turned around and looked at the class. But I stopped coughing before she saw me.
    Ms. Todd faced the board again and wrote the letter T . I started coughing again. Ryan started coughing too.
    Ms. Todd turned around and looked at the class. Me and Ryan stopped coughing before she saw us.
    Ms. Todd faced the board again and wrote the letter O . Me and Ryan started coughing again.
    Ms. Todd turned around real fast and looked at the class. Me and Ryan stopped coughing just in time.
    Ms. Todd faced the board again and wrote the letter D . Me and Ryan started coughing again.
    Ms. Todd started writing another letter D , but in the middle of it, she turned around really fast and looked at us. Me and Ryan were still coughing.
    Uh-oh. Me and Ryan were in trouble.
    â€œWhat’s your name?” Ms. Todd asked me.

    Everybody looked at me. I didn’t knowwhat to say. I didn’t know what to do. I had to think fast.
    That’s when I got the greatest idea in the history of the world. If I didn’t tell Ms. Todd my real name, I wouldn’t get in trouble!
    â€œMy name is Ryan,” I said.
    â€œAnd how about you?” Ms. Todd asked Ryan. “What’s your name?”
    â€œMy name is A.J.,” said Ryan.
    Ms. Todd took a piece of paper from Miss Daisy’s desk and wrote something on it.
    â€œWell,” she said, “Ryan and A.J. are going to be in trouble.”
    I guess my idea wasn’t so great after all.

3
If You Don’t Have Something Nice to Say, Say Something Mean
    Even after Ms. Todd wrote my name on her piece of paper, she still had on a big smiley face. It must hurt to smile so much. My friend Billy who lives around the corner told me that if you keep smiling too long, your face muscles get frozen like that forever.

    Ms. Todd told us all to sit in a big circle on the floor.
    â€œLet’s go around the room and say something nice about the person sitting across from us,” she said. “This will help me learn your names and get to know you better.”
    â€œAnnette is a really good soccer player,” said this girl named Lindsay.
    â€œLindsay knows everything about horses,” said Annette.
    â€œMichael is really good at sports,” said Ryan.
    â€œRyan is a really good eater,” said Michael. “He will even eat stuff that isn’t food.”
    I looked to see who was sitting across from me. Ugh. It was Andrea! I hoped that I wouldn’t get called on.
    â€œYour turn, Andrea,” said Ms. Todd.
    Andrea looked at me for a long time.
    â€œA.J. is really good at picking out clothes,” she finally said. Then she stuck her tongue out at me when Ms. Todd wasn’t looking.
    â€œWait a minute,” Ms. Todd said to me. “I thought you said your name was Ryan.”
    â€œI’m Ryan,” said Ryan.
    â€œHe’s a liar,” said Andrea. “His name is A.J. That stands for Arlo Jervis.”
    Ms. Todd went over to the desk andwrote