Ms. Todd Is Odd! by Dan Gutman

1
The Free Stuff Room
    My name is A.J. and I hate school.
    There’s only one room in Ella Mentry School that I really like. It’s the lost and found room!
    The lost and found room is right near the office. It is the coolest room in the history of the world because there islots of free stuff in there. Me and my friends Michael and Ryan call it “the free stuff room.” You can get just about anything you want, and you don’t even have to pay for it. So if I feel like getting a new baseball cap or a pair of sunglasses, I don’t have to go to a store. I just go to the free stuff room at school. It’s awesome!
    So this one morning the bus got to school a little early, and I went to kill some time in the free stuff room. I saw a really cool black T-shirt with a lightning bolt across the back. It was way cooler than the shirt I was wearing, so I took my shirt off and put the cool one on. Itfit perfectly. I stuffed my old, boring shirt in my backpack.
    It was almost time to pledge the allegiance, so I went to class. The kids were putting their backpacks and lunch boxes in their cubbies. Our teacher, Miss Daisy, wasn’t there yet. That was weird. She usually gets to school before any of us.
    â€œWhere’s Miss Daisy?” asked Neil, who everybody calls “the nude kid.” He actually wears clothes, but we call him “the nude kid” anyway. It’s a long story.
    â€œMaybe she got lost,” Michael said.
    Suddenly the door opened. We all looked up. But it wasn’t Miss Daisy.
    It was Andrea Young, this reallyannoying little Miss Perfect girl with curly brown hair who I hate. She’s such a nerd. She even keeps a dictionary on her desk in case she ever has to look up a word.
    â€œWhere were you, Andrea?” asked her equally annoying crybaby friend, Emily. “I was worried that you were sick. There’s something going around, you know.”
    â€œI wasn’t sick,” Andrea said. “I had to go to Mr. Klutz’s office.”
    â€œOooooh!” we all went.
    Mr. Klutz is the principal of the school. He also has no hair. Kids get sent to his office when they do something bad.
    â€œDid you do something bad?” askedEmily, all concerned.
    â€œOf course not!” Andrea said. “Mr. Klutz called me in to say I’m going to be in the gifted and talented program!”
    Oh man! That figured. The gifted and talented program is for dorks, dweebs, nerds, and know-it-alls like Andrea who are perfect in every way. We all took some dumb test a few weeks ago, and Andrea probably got the best score in the whole school.
    â€œIsn’t that fabulous?” Andrea said. “I’m gifted and talented!”
    â€œWhat’s your talent?” I asked her. “Being annoying?”
    Some of the kids laughed. Andrea gaveme one of her mean looks.
    â€œI like your shirt, Arlo,” she said. “Where did you get it?”
    â€œNone of your beeswax,” I told her. I hate when Andrea calls me by my real name.
    â€œOh yeah?” she said. “Well, I think it is my beeswax, because that’s my shirt!”
    What?!
    â€œThat shirt fell out of my backpack last week,” Andrea said. “I was wondering where it was.”
    Everybody started giggling. I thought I was gonna die. I was wearing a girl’s shirt! Not only was I wearing a girl’s shirt, but it was Andrea ’s shirt! Her girlcooties were crawling all over me! It was disgusting. I thought I was gonna throw up.

    â€œOooooh!” Ryan said. “A.J. is wearingAndrea’s shirt. They must be in love !”
    â€œWhen are you gonna get married?” asked Michael.
    If those guys weren’t my best friends, I would hate them.

2
Something Going Around
    I ripped the T-shirt off like it was on fire and threw it at Andrea.
    â€œEwwww, it’s disgusting!” she said. “I’ll never wear this shirt again! It has A.J.’s boy cooties all