easily find an undamaged companion.”
Seth laughed. “Maybe I like a challenge. My sister says it comes from my need to be special. She thinks it’s because I’m a middle child. But then, she’s never approved of my choices.”
In dogs? Mark stared at the silver greyhound shivering beside Seth. “Freddie seems nice enough, even if he needs socializing.”
There was a long pause before Seth replied. “You’re right. Maybe I’m making better decisions and my sister will like this one.” He looked at his watch. “Oops, it’s getting late. I need to go. Will I see you again here tomorrow?”
“Um, yeah,” Mark mumbled. “Depending on the weather, sure.”
Seth and Freddie exited the park, Freddie mincing on his long thin legs and Seth with his puffed-chest dancer stride. Mark looked away when Belle appeared happy and mudcaked. By the time he looked again they were gone.
* * *
“I don’t know if I can do this, Lisa.” Mark looked around Claire’s living room as the others started to filter in.
She patted his arm. “Of course you can. Nobody’s going to bite you.”
Had she always been this oblivious or was it getting worse with pregnancy? “We’re sitting by the door in case I have to leave.” Mark took her elbow. After settling her in an armchair he hauled a folding chair nearby, within inches of the doorframe. How did he get himself talked into this?
Claire shot him a sympathetic look before clapping her hands to get everyone’s attention. “Please take a seat,” she called. “We’re about to get started.”
The four other couples shuffled around until everyone was seated on couches or chairs. Men and women in equal measure. So much for gay parenting. Not in this session anyway.
“It’s like Noah’s ark,” he grumbled under his breath.
Lisa gave him a funny look. “You’ll find someone someday,” she whispered.
Christ.
Mark tried to focus on Claire’s introductory remarks but he couldn’t concentrate. He plotted escape routes and tried out excuses he could give Lisa for never coming again. He concentrated on his breathing and tried to burrow past the fear. One of the guys made a joke about his son emerging holding a football. A couple of the other guys whooped. The mother of the future quarterback smiled indulgently at her partner.
Everyone seemed nice enough. Pleasant. Lisa was right, they wouldn’t bite him. Mark knew that. He wasn’t crazy. He had a PhD in applied mathematics, for Christ’s sake. How much more rational could you get? And yet he could not remember when he’d felt so alone. It was like one of those nightmares where people talked and he couldn’t understand what they were saying and everyone suddenly looked totally alien, like pod people.
“Excuse me.” Mark stood and bolted through the doorway. He could hear the silence he left behind.
Someone whispered, “Is he all right?”
He heard Lisa start to answer but sprinted toward the kitchen so he wouldn’t have to know what kind of excuse she made.
Mark leaned against the counter, his heart pounding, breathing raggedly. Tears stung his eyes but he blinked them back. Self-disgust roiled through him like a snake. He closed his eyes, trying to press through the chaos of his emotions. Something important darted through his consciousness, just beyond comprehension. If only he could quiet the riot inside, he might be able to see.
“You okay?” Claire’s voice was gentle behind him.
Mark shook himself. He looked at her sheepishly. “Yeah. Sorry to ruin your party.”
She smiled. “You didn’t ruin it. I have them doing breathing exercises.”
He started. “I should get back in there. Lisa…”
Claire’s hand restrained him. “Lisa joined another couple and she’s fine. This is my fault. I should have suggested individual classes for the two of you. I wasn’t thinking.”
Mark snorted. “It’s not your job to consider my neuroses. I’m not even the pregnant one.”
She shrugged.
Seth laughed. “Maybe I like a challenge. My sister says it comes from my need to be special. She thinks it’s because I’m a middle child. But then, she’s never approved of my choices.”
In dogs? Mark stared at the silver greyhound shivering beside Seth. “Freddie seems nice enough, even if he needs socializing.”
There was a long pause before Seth replied. “You’re right. Maybe I’m making better decisions and my sister will like this one.” He looked at his watch. “Oops, it’s getting late. I need to go. Will I see you again here tomorrow?”
“Um, yeah,” Mark mumbled. “Depending on the weather, sure.”
Seth and Freddie exited the park, Freddie mincing on his long thin legs and Seth with his puffed-chest dancer stride. Mark looked away when Belle appeared happy and mudcaked. By the time he looked again they were gone.
* * *
“I don’t know if I can do this, Lisa.” Mark looked around Claire’s living room as the others started to filter in.
She patted his arm. “Of course you can. Nobody’s going to bite you.”
Had she always been this oblivious or was it getting worse with pregnancy? “We’re sitting by the door in case I have to leave.” Mark took her elbow. After settling her in an armchair he hauled a folding chair nearby, within inches of the doorframe. How did he get himself talked into this?
Claire shot him a sympathetic look before clapping her hands to get everyone’s attention. “Please take a seat,” she called. “We’re about to get started.”
The four other couples shuffled around until everyone was seated on couches or chairs. Men and women in equal measure. So much for gay parenting. Not in this session anyway.
“It’s like Noah’s ark,” he grumbled under his breath.
Lisa gave him a funny look. “You’ll find someone someday,” she whispered.
Christ.
Mark tried to focus on Claire’s introductory remarks but he couldn’t concentrate. He plotted escape routes and tried out excuses he could give Lisa for never coming again. He concentrated on his breathing and tried to burrow past the fear. One of the guys made a joke about his son emerging holding a football. A couple of the other guys whooped. The mother of the future quarterback smiled indulgently at her partner.
Everyone seemed nice enough. Pleasant. Lisa was right, they wouldn’t bite him. Mark knew that. He wasn’t crazy. He had a PhD in applied mathematics, for Christ’s sake. How much more rational could you get? And yet he could not remember when he’d felt so alone. It was like one of those nightmares where people talked and he couldn’t understand what they were saying and everyone suddenly looked totally alien, like pod people.
“Excuse me.” Mark stood and bolted through the doorway. He could hear the silence he left behind.
Someone whispered, “Is he all right?”
He heard Lisa start to answer but sprinted toward the kitchen so he wouldn’t have to know what kind of excuse she made.
Mark leaned against the counter, his heart pounding, breathing raggedly. Tears stung his eyes but he blinked them back. Self-disgust roiled through him like a snake. He closed his eyes, trying to press through the chaos of his emotions. Something important darted through his consciousness, just beyond comprehension. If only he could quiet the riot inside, he might be able to see.
“You okay?” Claire’s voice was gentle behind him.
Mark shook himself. He looked at her sheepishly. “Yeah. Sorry to ruin your party.”
She smiled. “You didn’t ruin it. I have them doing breathing exercises.”
He started. “I should get back in there. Lisa…”
Claire’s hand restrained him. “Lisa joined another couple and she’s fine. This is my fault. I should have suggested individual classes for the two of you. I wasn’t thinking.”
Mark snorted. “It’s not your job to consider my neuroses. I’m not even the pregnant one.”
She shrugged.
Similar Books
