timer providing it’s safe to do so. (In fact if it’s not safe to close your eyes it’s probably not safe to read either so for heaven’s sake concentrate on what you’re supposed to be doing before you miss your exit, spill your coffee or both…) OK, if you can, close your eyes and just allow your thoughts to come to mind. This is not thetime to go through your to-do list – this is the time to create some quiet still space and allow thoughts to come to mind.
The first thing you will probably notice is how many thoughts you have, one after another, thought, thought, thought… The next thing you’ll notice is that they are usually just random nonsense and then a few repeats. Alternatively, there may be one thought that you just cannot get out of your head: your horror movie, if you like. And, of course, you know what happens next. If you engage with the thought, then it will affect you. There is nothing you can do to distract yourself, and trying to do so would be about as useful as trying to laugh your way through a nightmare. It’s just not going to work or make any difference whatsoever. But remember what I said: unless that thing is actually happening now, then it is just a thought movie; just a construct that your mind is playing on the screen of your own awareness.
In fact, those three components are essential for all your subjective experiences: Mind, Awareness (or consciousness) and Thought.
To continue our movie analogy, think of your Mind as being like the projector or the ‘source’. Think of your Awareness as being like the screen, the thing that allows you to see what is going on. After all, if you didn’t have a screen, then even if the movie were being projected, you wouldn’t be able to see it. And if you didn’t have the movie (Thought) then there would be nothing to project, nothing to be aware of and nothing to which to react, or be affected by.
The first thing that usually happens when people start exploring themselves from this perspective is that they turn their awareness or screen resolution all the way up and realize that they are even more flawed, messed up or in need of help than they ever realized. That might have been your experience with the two-minute thought exercise – thoughts coming thick and fast, with more of a sense of clutter than enlightenment.
At the opposite ends of the spectrum you have bliss. They say that ignorance is bliss and enlightenment is bliss. The problem is that most of us live in the crappy bit in the middle! Don’t worry, though, you are heading in the right direction and much faster than you think… literally, and it doesn’t matter if you’ve had the scary DVD in your collection for 20 years or 20 minutes you can throw it out just as quickly.
Now close your eyes again, and once again allow thoughts to come to your mind, but this time just notice whether you think in pictures or sounds or a bit of both. Give yourself the full two minutes to relax into it and notice what comes up for you. The content is totally unimportant. Remember we are not concerned with the plot of the movie, only that you are running a movie at all. We all think differently, so however you do it is just what you do. After all, it’s only you that we are concerned with here.
How far away is the screen of your inner awareness? Does it feel like you are right in the front row as you watch your own thinking? How big is the screen? Is it in colour or black and white? What about the sound – is it surround soundand all consuming, or does it sound like a little nagging voice somewhere inside your head? Is it your voice or someone else that you can hear? Don’t let yourself be guided by me, though. Notice exactly how you do it for yourself. Do thoughts come one after another or all at once? Do they all come from the same place or different directions?
As I said, whatever happens is totally fine and does not mean anything other than that’s how you do your thinking. I just
N.R. Walker
Laura Farrell
Andrea Kane
Julia Gardener
Muriel Rukeyser
Jeff Stone
Boris Pasternak
Bobby Teale
John Peel
Graham Hurley