thought he had finally gotten to the point where he could accept the fact that we need each other. But I guess he only needed me for certain things, and not for everything. I can’t live like that. I can’t be someone’s almost-girlfriend. I want all of someone and to give them all of me, not just certain parts that we choose because they feel safe.
As devastated and as hurt as I am about Ian, I feel free. Now that I know he’s not willing to give me what I want, I can try to move on. I miss him, Mom. It was so nice to have someone to depend on and to spend time with. But I think this was the right thing, as hard as it was, because now we both know the truth. You were always telling me how important truth is, and I’m learning the painful yet necessary lesson that you were right.
It’s really tough. When I saw him standing in the garden on Christmas Eve I was so sure that this was it. Now I’m trying to learn to live with the reality that it wasn’t meant to be.
Love, Kate
Jacob folded the letter and replaced it in the envelope and the envelope in the box. She’s better off without him, he thought. As he walked through the kitchen with the iris bulbs, Olivia could have sworn that she saw a slight smile on his face.
Chapter 10
The day was unseasonably warm for April, but Kate decided that in spite of the heat, it was time to do a little spring-cleaning. Somehow she felt that if she cleaned out some of the forgotten corners of her apartment, she might be able to face the forgotten and wounded corners of her life as well. Slipping into a pair of cutoffs and an oversized t-shirt that she had “borrowed” from a boyfriend in college and then never returned, she twisted her unruly hair into a ponytail on top of her head and blasted the radio so loudly that she could hear it from any room in the house.
After giving the bathroom a deep cleaning and stopping for a quick break to eat an orange and check her email, Kate plopped down in front of her hall closet and pulled out the first box that she saw. It only took a few seconds to realize that it was the box she had packed up quickly that day in January after Ian had broken her heart. She had rushed around the apartment in a rage, taking everything that reminded her of Ian and shoving it into the box. She hadn’t looked at it since that night, and she sighed deeply as she felt an emptiness in the pit of her stomach as she remembered how horrible their last conversation had been. But time passed, and the pain that plagued her had slowly changed from sharp and crippling to dull and depressing.
“I don’t know if I want to look through this,” she whispered to no one.
Shrugging her shoulders, she decided to fully embrace the idea of spring-cleaning and go through this forgotten box. Just because it was shoved into a closet doesn’t mean that it had gone away.
The first thing she pulled out was a framed picture that had once sat on the table beside her bed. It was a picture of her and Ian in the Baileys’ backyard. He had his arm casually slung around her shoulders, and she was looking up at him with a sweet smile. She loved this picture. They looked so happy; so connected. She slowly rubbed her thumb across the glass as she remembered what it was like to have him in her life.
Setting the picture aside, she reached into the box and found a stack of postcards. Kate couldn’t remember how the tradition had started, but she and Ian had been sending each other postcards for years. She made it a point to find the most ridiculously un-masculine postcards, like with pictures of kittens in an embrace or babies dressed as flowers, to send to Ian. He, in return, always sent her cheesy tourist postcards. Part of the tradition was to write embarrassing messages on the back. She giggled as she turned the pile over, wondering what her postman thought of the postcard wishing her luck on her first day of her taxidermy class or the one reminding her of her back
As devastated and as hurt as I am about Ian, I feel free. Now that I know he’s not willing to give me what I want, I can try to move on. I miss him, Mom. It was so nice to have someone to depend on and to spend time with. But I think this was the right thing, as hard as it was, because now we both know the truth. You were always telling me how important truth is, and I’m learning the painful yet necessary lesson that you were right.
It’s really tough. When I saw him standing in the garden on Christmas Eve I was so sure that this was it. Now I’m trying to learn to live with the reality that it wasn’t meant to be.
Love, Kate
Jacob folded the letter and replaced it in the envelope and the envelope in the box. She’s better off without him, he thought. As he walked through the kitchen with the iris bulbs, Olivia could have sworn that she saw a slight smile on his face.
Chapter 10
The day was unseasonably warm for April, but Kate decided that in spite of the heat, it was time to do a little spring-cleaning. Somehow she felt that if she cleaned out some of the forgotten corners of her apartment, she might be able to face the forgotten and wounded corners of her life as well. Slipping into a pair of cutoffs and an oversized t-shirt that she had “borrowed” from a boyfriend in college and then never returned, she twisted her unruly hair into a ponytail on top of her head and blasted the radio so loudly that she could hear it from any room in the house.
After giving the bathroom a deep cleaning and stopping for a quick break to eat an orange and check her email, Kate plopped down in front of her hall closet and pulled out the first box that she saw. It only took a few seconds to realize that it was the box she had packed up quickly that day in January after Ian had broken her heart. She had rushed around the apartment in a rage, taking everything that reminded her of Ian and shoving it into the box. She hadn’t looked at it since that night, and she sighed deeply as she felt an emptiness in the pit of her stomach as she remembered how horrible their last conversation had been. But time passed, and the pain that plagued her had slowly changed from sharp and crippling to dull and depressing.
“I don’t know if I want to look through this,” she whispered to no one.
Shrugging her shoulders, she decided to fully embrace the idea of spring-cleaning and go through this forgotten box. Just because it was shoved into a closet doesn’t mean that it had gone away.
The first thing she pulled out was a framed picture that had once sat on the table beside her bed. It was a picture of her and Ian in the Baileys’ backyard. He had his arm casually slung around her shoulders, and she was looking up at him with a sweet smile. She loved this picture. They looked so happy; so connected. She slowly rubbed her thumb across the glass as she remembered what it was like to have him in her life.
Setting the picture aside, she reached into the box and found a stack of postcards. Kate couldn’t remember how the tradition had started, but she and Ian had been sending each other postcards for years. She made it a point to find the most ridiculously un-masculine postcards, like with pictures of kittens in an embrace or babies dressed as flowers, to send to Ian. He, in return, always sent her cheesy tourist postcards. Part of the tradition was to write embarrassing messages on the back. She giggled as she turned the pile over, wondering what her postman thought of the postcard wishing her luck on her first day of her taxidermy class or the one reminding her of her back
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