little, more to release the tension than anything. I drop to my knees, sit cross-legged on the floor in front of the table, pick up the vodka, but I donât drink it. I just hold the glass in my hand, rub my thumb through the condensation on the side.
âThis isnât a Disney story. I mean, weâre exploring this whole system of privilege and oppression and then you want to turn this into âOh, sheâs a plucky heroine, so sheâs fine, she saves herself in the end.â Thatâs not real, thatâs not true.â I turn the glass in my hand again. The ice is melting. I finally take a sip. âWe have to take the reader, the audience, whatever, all the way. We have to make them feel complicit.â
Tommy sits for a minute. Maybe heâs waiting to see if I say more. Maybe heâs just thinking. âOkay,â he says. âBut youâd better sound a hell of a lot more eloquent tomorrow. And with Jason, you know, it wouldnât hurt if you wore something a little more revealing.â
âIf you think itâll help,â I say. âBut youâre with me on this?â
He nods, sets his glass on the table. âI always was.â He reaches his hand out, pulls me to my feet. âYou want me to take you to dinner?â
I hate being in public with Tommy. I hate feeling watched. âI donât know. Iâve been traveling all day. Canât we just stay here?â
âWe can do anything you want, baby.â When he says this, he gives my hand a little tug and raises his eyebrows. âOr did you want to wait till later?â
âJesus, you are obnoxious.â I try to say this like it isnât a relief to have the question answered.
âYou didnât think I was gonna have a room made up for you, âcause I most certainly did not.â
âWow,â I say, pulling my hand out of his. âThatâs a hell of an assumption to make.â
He moves toward the door. âThe word âassumptionâ implies the possibility that I could be wrong, and you know, youâd think as a poet youâd be more mindful of your vocabulary.â
âYouâd think as a human being youâd be more mindful of being a dick.â
âYouâd think, yeahââhe turns back toward me and nodsââbut youâd be wrong.â
â¢Â   â¢Â   â¢
I wake up around five, which is seven oâclock back home. Itâs practically sleeping in. Tommyâs arm is under my head, sort of on my hair. Itâs hardto get free without waking him, but I do. Itâs so early no one will be here, so I donât really bother getting dressed. I just pull on my T-shirt and slip out to the kitchen, make coffee, take a mug of it into the study, and sit with the script. I read the whole thing. I start on page one, and I read and read and read. Sometime around seven, I hear Tommy in the kitchen, and when I look up, heâs leaning against the door frame.
âWhat the hell is wrong with you?â he says.
âCanât sleep.â I lean forward for my coffee, but when I pick up the cup, itâs almost empty.
He walks behind the couch, massages my neck, works his fingers up into my hair. âYou should try staying in bed.â
âIt just makes me feel anxious.â
âThen you should try going back to bed.â He leans down, kissing the curve between my shoulder and neck. He works one hand through the neckline of my T-shirt, rubs his thumb across my breast.
I say, âIâm trying to work here.â
âYeah, me too.â
He takes the script out of my lap and tosses it on the table in front of us, and the pen I had tucked in the middle of it falls to the floor. He reaches both hands around me, his fingers massaging the insides of my thighs.
âJesus, Tommy.â
âYou can keep fighting me,â he says, his mouth against my ear. âI mean thatâs a
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