Miz Scarlet and the Bewildered Bridegroom
away from the intruder, and with a
two-handed grip on his favorite wooden Louisville Slugger, Bur was
ready to play ball.
    “Stay right where you
are!” Bur commanded him, but then his tone unexpectedly changed.
“What the hell?”
    To whom was Bur
talking? I couldn’t see the face, but my brother seemed shocked --
so shocked that when the intruder gave him a hard shove, Bur
offered no resistance. He wobbled to and fro before he fell over
backwards, going down hard. I heard a loud
thwack
as
Bur’s body made contact with the wood floor and several more as his
grip on the wooden club broke. I watched that prized Louisville
Slugger bounce and roll about ten feet before finally coming to a
stop by the antique grandfather clock. The clamor in the vestibule
was deafening.
    Horrified, I scrambled
down the stairs, my feet barely touching each step as I rushed to
Bur’s rescue. My heart was pounding so hard, I thought it would pop
out of my chest. I stopped just long enough to scoop up the bat.
With my fingers firmly wrapped around the handle, I drew it back
against my right shoulder, all set to swing. “Stay right where you
are, you bastard!”
    The man dressed in
black pulled desperately at the front door in his futile bid to
escape the raving lunatic wielding the wooden club. He managed to
yank it open, only to find there was something, or rather, someone
blocking his exit.
    “Going somewhere, Mr.
Wilkie?”
    “Ah....” Dave obviously
wasn’t expecting to see Kenny on the other side of the
door.
    “Don’t even think about
it, pal.” Unfortunately, the man did; what choice did Kenny have
but to grab him?
    I could hear the sound
of sirens in the distance. It was the second police visit in less
than twenty four hours. The Four Acorns Inn was certainly not going
to win fans among the neighbors if this kept up.
    Hammerhead, eyes still
heavy with sleep, stumbled down the stairs. The disturbing sight of
Bur sprawled on his back and Kenny wrestling with another man
seemed to halt the teenager in his tracks. “What’s going
on?”
    “Let go of him, you
brute!” Diana Wilkie appeared at the top of the stairs. “Leave him
alone!”
    Racing down the stairs
like a deranged demon, she pushed Hammerhead out of her path and
made a beeline for Kenny, but I was already moving forward to
intercept her.
    “Try it, lady,” I
warned her, baseball bat at the ready, “and I’ll knock your sorry
ass right out of this ball park!”
    “Whoa! Hold on there,
ladies!” said a booming male voice. I looked up in time to see a
man in a green golf shirt and brown slacks, shiny badge clipped to
his hip, enter the inn. His right hand was poised to reach for the
weapon in his shoulder holster. “Let’s not get carried
away!”
    “You think I’m getting
carried away? First, we had a break-in, then the tires on the car
were punctured, and now this!” I sputtered. “I think I’m showing a
great deal of restraint under the circumstances!”
    “Scarlet, take a
breath,” Kenny told me, his voice calm, but serious. “We’ve got
this.”
    Two uniformed officers
gingerly stepped over the threshold, careful not to disturb Kenny’s
efforts to subdue Dave Wilkie with the help of the plain clothes
cop. The first took hold of the belligerent Mrs. Wilkie as she
writhed madly, arms and legs flailing in every direction. The
second insisted I surrender the Louisville Slugger. Reluctantly I
acquiesced, but only after I was sure Dave and Diana had been
cuffed. I wasn’t willing to take a chance they might get
away.
    “Fine! You can have the
bat, but don’t let go of those two creeps! They’re a menace to
society!”
    “Are you hurt, buddy?”
The second cop carefully placed the bat on the hall table, gave me
a warning glance, and made his way over to my brother, who was
still lying on the floor, more than a little dazed and confused.
“Just take it easy till you get your bearings.”
    “Bur!” I rushed to my
brother’s aid. “Can you sit

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