Miss Matched by Shawn K. Stout

• Chapter 1 •

    F iona Finkelstein had a bad feeling.
    It was the kind of feeling she got when she just knew that Mrs. Miltenberger packed a corned beef sandwich in her lunchbox, even though she’s told her a gazillion times that she HATES corned beef more than she HATES anything else. Especially after learning that there was actually no corn in it. If there was one thing Fiona flat-out could not stand, it was food that lies.
    Fiona didn’t know exactly why she was having this feeling today. Maybe because today was theday Mr. Bland, her fourth-grade teacher, was going to draw names for new classroom jobs. For months, Fiona wanted to be picked for electrician. But no matter how tightly she crossed her fingers, Mr. Bland always pulled somebody else’s name out of the bucket.
    She tapped her green Thinking Pencil on her desk and looked at her best friend, Cleo Button, and Harold Chutney next to her. “I’ve decided if I don’t get to be electrician this time, I’m going to stop taking baths.”
    â€œWhat will that do?” asked Cleo.
    â€œI’ll have so much stink on me that Mr. Bland will have to give me the job next time,” said Fiona. “I’ll tell him that he’ll be smelling my stink until he pulls my name out of that bucket.”
    â€œGood idea,” said Cleo, cracking her knuckles. “I hope I get to be line leader.”
    Harold pulled his finger out of his nose. “I want to be gardener.”
    â€œGardener?” said Fiona and Cleo at the same time.
    â€œOh, Boise Idaho. What?” said Harold.
    â€œThat’s the worst job there is,” said Fiona. “There’s only one plant that you get to water, and it’s a cactus.”
    Harold shrugged. “What’s so great about being electrician?”
    Fiona shook her head. “It’s only the best job ever. You get to plug in the TV and overhead projector. And work the DVD player.”
    â€œAnd turn off the lights,” said Cleo, who was electrician the time before last.
    â€œSo?” said Harold, wiping his finger under his desk.
    Fiona sighed. Besides being a nose-picker, Harold was the only kid she knew who said things like “Oh, Boise Idaho” and who didn’t like cool things like plugs. Sometimes Fiona thought about the possibility that Harold was really an old lady disguised in a boy suit.
    The bell rang just then. “Everybody quiet down,” said Mr. Bland. “Before we get started, Principal Sterling is here with an important announcement.”
    â€œGood morning, everyone,” said Principal Sterling. Her high heels clicked as she walked to the front of the classroom. A boy trailed close behind. He was tall and had spiky hair that made him even taller. “I’d like to introduce a new student who is joining your class.” She put her hand on the boy’s shoulder. “This is Milo Bridgewater, and he’s just moved here to Maryland all the way from Minnesota.”
    The new boy, Milo, stuffed his hands into his pockets and looked down at his feet. Fiona was trying to remember where Minnesota was because there were lots of M-states and she got them all mixed up. It occurred to her then that Milo also starts with M and wasn’t that funny. Fiona wondered why there weren’t any states that started with F andwasn’t that unfair. And then she thought of one. “Florida!” she shouted in excitement.

    Everyone looked at her. And then they cracked up. Except for Mr. Bland and Principal Sterling. And Minnesota Milo.
    Fiona looked around. “Did I say that out loud?”
    â€œApparently,” said Mr. Bland, clearing his throat.“Is there something you wanted to say about Florida?”
    â€œI was just thinking how Florida begins with F like Fiona,” she explained, “the same way that Minnesota begins with an M like, you know, Milo?” Fiona’s voice got softer as she got to the