Owning Regina: Diary of my unxpected passion for another woman by Lorelei Elstrom
Authors: Lorelei Elstrom
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magazines. I figured she might like to check in on actors of “The Young and The Restless.”
In the kitchen, I started a stir-fry and listened to my own music, Philip Glass. The rolling minimalism felt just right for being in a place where I was floating with no boundaries.
I had a few thoughts like, “Am I gay now? Am I still capable of being turned on by a guy? Is this some kind of over-the-top rebound or revenge sex from Boyfriend X?” But as the Phillip Glass music started to penetrate and as I stared at the sizzling vegetables, I let all that go away. There was a beautiful woman in my bathtub with a beautiful soul. There was a woman who not only didn’t judge my kinky sexuality, but also reveled in it. And before I knew it, the doubting self was washed away, leaving only the purity of Regina as a person.
Dinner was about ready. I wasn’t going to eat (again) so I made Regina’s plate extra fancy; the stir-fry was sitting atop a bright orange carrot puree and I clipped a little rosebud from the front of the house to complete the plate. During cooking, I had taken the thickest powder blue bathrobe you have ever seen and put it in the dryer on high for 10 minutes. I went to the bathroom to tell her dinner was ready and to present her with the warm bathrobe. She was nude and immediately slipped under the bubbles out of modesty. “Oh, sorry,” I apologized, “I didn’t mean to catch you like that.” It was kind of sweet how we had this crazy sex and then she was worried about me seeing her body. But I completely understood. The body can take on a more utilitarian form when not viewed in the glow of a sexually charged moment. I excused myself back to the kitchen to give her privacy.
A moment later, Regina came downstairs in the bathrobe. “Best bath of my life. Better than a spa day. I loved the magazines. The robe is still warm!” In seeing her coming down the stairs, I was drawn to her and met her near the last few steps. I stood a step below her and she towered over me. On level ground she is almost a head taller than me. Now the height difference was exaggerated. I put my hands around her waist, craning my face upward to look in her eyes, and a conversation flowed:
ME
The flowers you brought me are perfect. I’m really touched.
REGINA
(Sarcastic)
Yeah, I could tell.
ME
Do you think the game is going to get us in trouble? You know, maybe someone’s feelings will get hurt in the game and it would bleed into real life?
REGINA
I think we can keep it straight.
ME
I guess. But it could get tricky in some situations.
REGINA
We’re two smart women. Let’s make it work. I need to serve you. Let’s just say that what ever we say in the game doesn’t count in real life.
ME
So if I say something really cruel to you in the game, you will know that it doesn’t mean anything in real life, right?
REGINA
Totally. When I told you “Fuck you” did you think there may be a kernel of real hostility toward you?
ME
No, but it did jolt me away from my real self quickly. I went instantly to the Mistress bitch.
REGINA
Bitch is right. You’re a harsh one. Ok, the game is its own world. No crossover.
ME
S hould we have separate names for the characters in the game?
REGINA
No. It’s cooler to be called Slave Regina and Mistress Meg than some fake names we don’t relate to.
ME
Maybe you’re right.
REGINA
It feels real to me.
ME
What, the game?
REGINA
It feels like I’m literally a different person. It doesn’t feel like an act. What about you?
ME
Oh, it’s real alright.
REGINA
When I’m with Tucker, I’m mommy. When he’s gone, I’m someone else. I listen to different music and have different thoughts. And when we play the game, I’m someone else entirely.
ME
I could never dream of hurting you or being mean to you in real life. But in the game, you bring that out in
In the kitchen, I started a stir-fry and listened to my own music, Philip Glass. The rolling minimalism felt just right for being in a place where I was floating with no boundaries.
I had a few thoughts like, “Am I gay now? Am I still capable of being turned on by a guy? Is this some kind of over-the-top rebound or revenge sex from Boyfriend X?” But as the Phillip Glass music started to penetrate and as I stared at the sizzling vegetables, I let all that go away. There was a beautiful woman in my bathtub with a beautiful soul. There was a woman who not only didn’t judge my kinky sexuality, but also reveled in it. And before I knew it, the doubting self was washed away, leaving only the purity of Regina as a person.
Dinner was about ready. I wasn’t going to eat (again) so I made Regina’s plate extra fancy; the stir-fry was sitting atop a bright orange carrot puree and I clipped a little rosebud from the front of the house to complete the plate. During cooking, I had taken the thickest powder blue bathrobe you have ever seen and put it in the dryer on high for 10 minutes. I went to the bathroom to tell her dinner was ready and to present her with the warm bathrobe. She was nude and immediately slipped under the bubbles out of modesty. “Oh, sorry,” I apologized, “I didn’t mean to catch you like that.” It was kind of sweet how we had this crazy sex and then she was worried about me seeing her body. But I completely understood. The body can take on a more utilitarian form when not viewed in the glow of a sexually charged moment. I excused myself back to the kitchen to give her privacy.
A moment later, Regina came downstairs in the bathrobe. “Best bath of my life. Better than a spa day. I loved the magazines. The robe is still warm!” In seeing her coming down the stairs, I was drawn to her and met her near the last few steps. I stood a step below her and she towered over me. On level ground she is almost a head taller than me. Now the height difference was exaggerated. I put my hands around her waist, craning my face upward to look in her eyes, and a conversation flowed:
ME
The flowers you brought me are perfect. I’m really touched.
REGINA
(Sarcastic)
Yeah, I could tell.
ME
Do you think the game is going to get us in trouble? You know, maybe someone’s feelings will get hurt in the game and it would bleed into real life?
REGINA
I think we can keep it straight.
ME
I guess. But it could get tricky in some situations.
REGINA
We’re two smart women. Let’s make it work. I need to serve you. Let’s just say that what ever we say in the game doesn’t count in real life.
ME
So if I say something really cruel to you in the game, you will know that it doesn’t mean anything in real life, right?
REGINA
Totally. When I told you “Fuck you” did you think there may be a kernel of real hostility toward you?
ME
No, but it did jolt me away from my real self quickly. I went instantly to the Mistress bitch.
REGINA
Bitch is right. You’re a harsh one. Ok, the game is its own world. No crossover.
ME
S hould we have separate names for the characters in the game?
REGINA
No. It’s cooler to be called Slave Regina and Mistress Meg than some fake names we don’t relate to.
ME
Maybe you’re right.
REGINA
It feels real to me.
ME
What, the game?
REGINA
It feels like I’m literally a different person. It doesn’t feel like an act. What about you?
ME
Oh, it’s real alright.
REGINA
When I’m with Tucker, I’m mommy. When he’s gone, I’m someone else. I listen to different music and have different thoughts. And when we play the game, I’m someone else entirely.
ME
I could never dream of hurting you or being mean to you in real life. But in the game, you bring that out in
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