Milo and the Raging Chieftains by Mary Arrigan

CHAPTER ONE
A VISIT TO THE CASTLE
    ‘ T here’s going to be cakes, Milo,’ my pal Shane said. ‘Loads of cakes.’
    We were passing the castle on our way home from football training. Well, sort of training – Shane and I spend most of the time as far from the ball as possible. Not that we’re wimpy cowards, it’s just that both ofus are big into the skills of self-preservation. Shane has a book about all that. It’s mostly about how to save yourself from falling rocks, wild hairy creatures with fangs, and slimy things that spit slop in your eye. It was Shane who pointed out to me that most of the guys on the football field have all of those skills, but not us. So we’re very good at looking like we’re moving about a lot on the pitch.
    ‘Cakes, Milo,’ Shane went on.
    ‘What about cakes?’ I asked. ‘Can you not go five minutes without thinking of food?’
    ‘At the opening of the castle in two days’ time.’ He was already rubbing his fat tum at the thought. ‘There’ll be all sorts of food
for
free
. Gran has made loads of African bikkies and stuff.’
    Shane lives with his gran, Big Ella, who brought dozens of exotic African recipes with her when she and Shane came to live here, so there were always great smells floating from their house.
    ‘What else is better than food?’ asked Shane. ‘Hey, look,’ he stopped and pulled me back. ‘That gate,’ he whispered.
    Sure enough one of the huge gates, covered with boards to stop people gawking in, was slightly open. For over two years the castle had been shut off from the public while it was being done up. Nobody had been allowed in except the men with hard yellow hats and the beardy experts who shuffled in every day with rolled-up charts under their arms. Sometimes we could see them high up on the battlements, looking at the charts and doing a lot of pointingaround the castle grounds.
    ‘Look at them up there,’ Shane said to me once. ‘Gargoyles in anoraks.’
    Which was a spot-on observation.
    ‘Hey, Milo,’ Shane whispered. ‘Let’s sneak in and have a look, eh?’
    ‘Shane, those guys would probably shove us into a dungeon for trespassing. Can’t you see the KEEP OUT signs plastered all over the place?’
    ‘Oh, come on, Milo,’ laughed Shane. ‘Just a quick look and we’ll scarper. Then we can boast about it at school and get serious respect.’
    It was the word ‘respect’ that won me over. I once watched an old gangster movie with Dad, and I especially remember the part where the head gangster shook hands with someone who used the word ‘respect’, and I thought I’d like people to greet melike that. Not as a gangster, though. Dad is a Garda and he says the food is pretty sloppy and the place is ice cold. ‘And that’s just the Garda Stations, son,’ he’d added. ‘So you can imagine what the cells are like for crooks and gangsters.’
    Still, I was just as curious as Shane.
    ‘Alright,’ I said. ‘Just a quick look.’
    ‘I knew you’d say that,’ Shane said, laughing.

CHAPTER TWO
SHANE SHOWS OFF
    W e slipped in through the partly open gate and stayed near the wall.
    ‘Wow!’ we both said together. Where there had been crumbling stones and piles of rubbish, there was now a big cobbled courtyard that stretched all around the castle. The castle itself was like somethingin a historical movie. You know the kind of thing – guys with swords and armour and helmets that had long bits squashing their noses. Shane said that was to stop snot from dripping on the chest armour and making it rusty. The stone walls had been cleaned and the big windows had glass in them. Over the huge arch there was a sort of balcony thing.
    ‘I know what that is,’ said Shane. ‘It has no floor, just openings.’
    ‘Yeah?’ I sniggered. ‘A sort of outdoor loo? What if someone comes knocking at the door underneath and they get covered in wee and …?’
    ‘Don’t be such a wuss,’ said Shane. ‘Nothing so ordinary.’
    ‘How do you