Me by Ricky Martin Page A

of this church; for example, the church’s stance on homosexuality. Even though I did not know yet that I was a homosexual—or to be more precise, I was trying with all my might to convince myself that I was not—I knew that some of the people I loved were homosexuals, and they were certainly not bad people, unworthy of Christ’s love. All of these realizations made me very nervous; I became preoccupied and anxious. Finally I realized that this is not what Christianity was about. I had spent months reading about the history of Jesus, and noticed that in addition to His teachings, there were a series of laws created by humans that didn’t always make sense to me. If Jesus Christ was a compassionate being, it made no sense to say that the people who do not believe or act the same way He did are wrong, or destined to enter the gates of hell. Also, deep down inside I felt I was being attacked on a personal level when they said, “If you’re a homosexual, you are the son of the devil”; that bit just didn’t work for me.
    What a horrible irony. They attack me, but they love me; they accept me, but they exclude me. They speak of homosexuality as something that can be “cured” through prayer and atonement, as if it were something bad, when in fact homosexuality is a blessing the same way heterosexuality and life in general are blessings.
    It got to a point where there were just too many contradictions. So I stopped going to the church and understood that another chapter of my life was closing. I am grateful for the things I learned during those months, but I realized it was not giving me all the answers I needed. I had many spiritual moments, but also many clashes. It was another step on the path, another lesson. My spiritual journey was only getting started and I had many steps left to take before I would find the peace and acceptance I needed.
    With time I have learned that life has a funny way of shaking me around when I need it most. In that moment, I don’t always understand it, and often I even resist it, when in reality I have learned that what I need to do is open myself up to the challenges that lie ahead—because it is these very challenges that allow me to grow, learn, and change. Instead of resisting change, I have chosen to search for it and embrace it because all change, as scary as it may seem, comes with an infinite realm of new possibilities.
    Destiny is a curious thing. It doesn’t always take us where we want to go, and many times it ends up taking us to an unexpected place where we feel confused, lost, with no idea where to go next. These are complicated and painful moments that make us suffer and question who we are, along with what we want the most in our lives. But if we really make the effort to see these challenges as opportunities to find ourselves, we will understand that it was exactly what we needed to discover and strengthen our role on this planet. That is how I see it, and that is how I face every opportunity and every challenge that life brings me.
    I believe that everything that happens in life happens for a reason. I also believe that the God that lives inside me—to call it something—is in charge of giving me everything I am going to ever need. All of my joys and pains have made me who I am. They are the yin and yang of my existence, this inseparable duality of life that blends together and makes us the people we are destined to become. I have known love and loss, joy and sadness, friendship and betrayal. I have known a sense of success I never imagined possible; I have had to withstand the attacks and accusations of my detractors; and yes, I have also had failures. Today I know that every step has taught me something and helped me grow and become a better and stronger person—a more complete human being.
    It has been incredible to sit back and think about everything that happened after Menudo. I was running in circles when I did not know what I wanted to do with my life. But