Maybe her silence was a good thing, because he was being more honest with her than heâd ever been before.
âAnd I wondered why danger and risk feel good to me. Maybe itâs because whenever I took a risk and put myself in danger, people paid attention, sometimes just to yell at me. Even Connorâthe sole reason we had a relationship at all was that he had to take charge of me when I got into trouble. But you, Daisy. Youâre the first person who didnât pay attention to me because Iwas doing something dangerous. You paid attention becauseâ¦hell, I donât know, but I know it felt different. Everything about you is different, the way you look and smell, the way you feel in my arms.â
They werenât even touching, yet Daisy had never felt closer to anyone than she did to Julian at this moment. She didnât dare move or speak because she sensed this was hard for him and didnât want him to stop.
âI was seventeen years old the first time I met you,â he said, still staring into their reflection in the water, âand I wish Iâd paid more attention then to the way you made me feel. Maybe I wouldâve had the sense to find a way to stay close to you, after we parted ways that summer, instead of watching you head off to a bad situation. When I found out you were pregnant, I thought it was a sign that youâd taken another path. A path that didnât include me. And all through college, I guess I felt like I had to prove myself to you. You know, the beautiful rich girl. And any way you cut it, Iâm from the wrong side of the tracks. Itâs ridiculous to think about me and a Bellamy, for Chrissake. I didnât see how you and I would ever connect. We come from totally different worlds.â
She held her breath. Was he saying they were incompatible, that love wasnât enough? âJulianââ
âHang on, Iâm getting to the point. Where we come from doesnât have to matter. Iâm not going to worry about what other people will say, the color of our skin and what our kids might look like. What matters isâ¦itâs us. Our hopes and dreams and what we want our lives to be.â
He kissed her swiftly, his warm lips lingering against hers, his breath gusting over her cheek. âWhew,â he said. âThatâs, like, the longest speech Iâve ever given. Sorry if I rambled.â
She could listen to him talk like that forever. âYou didnât ramble.â
âIâve been practicing what I wanted to say. In my head. God, donât think I was walking around campus, spouting stuff about hopes and dreams. But I meant every word.â With that, he got up and grabbed the picnic bag, bringing it to the steps of the gazebo, built some years ago for her grandparentsâ golden anniversary. She followed, still entranced by the things heâd said. There was no one around. The gazebo was broadcasting music from somewhere. She recognized the old classic, âWonderful Tonightâ by Eric Clapton.
âWhoa,â she said. âIs someone here?â
âWe are now.â Julian set down the bag. Turning to face her, he paused for what felt like a full minute and studied her face. She did the same, seeing love and pain in the yearning in his eyes.
âThanks for coming here with me,â he said at last, bending down to kiss her again.
âThanks for bringing me,â she said, feeling drunk from the taste of him. âItâs been an awesome day.â
âWeâre just getting started.â He took out a bottle of champagne and two glasses.
When he uncorked the champagne with a loud thwok, Daisy felt a surge of excitement. âJulian?â
âHang on,â he said, putting his arm around her. âYou okay?â
âIâm kind of shaking.â The Eric Clapton song was perfect, romantic and true. He was a guy from an older generation, but his music told the
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