Marrying Daisy Bellamy by Susan Wiggs Page A

me?”
    â€œI want to. But it’s just…you seem to hold back, when it comes to Charlie.”
    â€œKids latch onto people, and they hurt when those people go away.”
    â€œAre you talking about Charlie, or are you talking about yourself, when you were a kid?”
    He didn’t contradict her. “I know what it feels like to have a broken family. Charlie should never have to feel that. So I don’t want to give him mixed signals. When I was little, growing up with my dad, I used to want a mama so bad, I’d fantasize about every woman my dad even looked at—a bus driver, a grocery checker, the crossing guard—if she said even two words to him, I was ready for him to pop the question. And I was disappointed every time. You have to understand how much it hurts a kid to want a traditional family. How much hope he hangs on the slightest encouragement. So maybe I’ve been too careful about Charlie, but that’s my take on it.I never wanted to make him a promise I couldn’t keep. That doesn’t mean I don’t love him.”
    Unexpected tears stung her eyes. “You never told me you loved him.”
    â€œDaisy. He’s your son. He’s never asked for anything except to be loved. How can I not love that?”
    Her heart turned to mush; she loved hearing him talk this way.
    â€œHe can’t help it if his father’s a douche—”
    â€œJulian.” She knew he was still thinking of the fight on the train platform, the night everything had fallen apart. The fight had not caused the problem. The fight had been the culmination of the problem. The mushy part was over, clearly.
    â€œI’d never say that in front of the kid, but come on. And honestly, no matter what I think of Logan, I’d never let on to Charlie. And I’d never want to interfere with that relationship. I had a great dad. He wasn’t perfect, but I thought the world of him. So yeah, I get that Logan has to be part of Charlie’s life. A big part.”
    â€œI’m glad you understand. There are a few things in my life that are completely certain,” she reminded Julian. “The most important is my son. Every choice I make is dictated by what’s best for Charlie.”
    â€œI understand.”
    â€œAnother constant is Logan. He is Charlie’s dad, which means he’ll always be part of my life, no matter what.”
    â€œIs he still in love with you?”
    She could still hear Logan’s voice in her ears, loud and clear. I’ll always love you, Daisy. I’ll wait as long as it takes.
    She ducked her head to hide her expression, but apparently she wasn’t quick enough.
    â€œI see,” said Julian.
    â€œI don’t think you do. I can’t tell you what Logan is thinking. Persistence is his middle name. I swear, I don’t encourage him. You know that. I want… God, Julian. I want this to be simple. Why is it so hard?”
    The rowboat bumped against the mooring bulkhead at the tiny island. Julian pulled a rope around a cleat. Then he extended a hand and helped her to the dock.
    He sat on the weathered wooden planks and drew her down beside him. “Have a seat. This might take a while.”
    â€œIt might?”
    â€œI’ve got a lot to say to you.”
    Something in his tone made her shiver despite the heat. “I’m listening.”
    He steepled his fingers together and stared into the lake for a long moment. The still water was a mirror of dark glass. “It’s not hard. I’m not saying I hold all the answers. God knows, I didn’t have much to go on when I was a kid. My dad was all about intellect and process and the scientific method. My mom was focused on her acting career, her image, herself. I’ve spent the past few weeks wondering if I even have the emotional hardware for the kind of relationship I want with you.”
    She was stunned speechless to hear him talking like this.