Manifestations by David M. Henley Page A

experienced a certain unpleasantness at a young age, Lizney could recognise the aggressive posturing as a self-protection mechanism.
     
    ‘Still, I don’t think we should immerse today. You need to rest.’
     
    ‘I should dive straight back in.’
     
    ‘No, Zach. I won’t authorise that.’
     
    ‘But what about my badge? I’m only five days off.’
     
    ‘Master Frost, do not whine. If you have to restart your endurance exam, then so be it. You will become all the more endurable for it.’
     
    ‘That’s not fair.’
     
    ‘Perhaps not, but it is in my interest to work in your interests. Your anger will not sway me.’
     
    ‘I’m not angry,’ Zach muttered.
     
    ‘Pardon my mistake.’
     
    ‘It is your mistake. I’m fine.’ Zach pushed himself from the bed and stood up.
     
    ‘Are you going somewhere, Zach?’ Mister Lizney asked. The boy didn’t answer. The sudden rise had lost the blood in his head and he swayed dopily. ‘Why don’t you sit down again? I’m happy to let you enter the null space if you want. We can work on your new avatar.’
     
    Zach wobbled.
     
    ‘I take it you are done being Musashi?’
     
    ‘Musashi ...’ The boy slumped at the question and sat back on the bed, his anger disappearing. ‘No, I don’t want to be Musashi any more.’
     
    ‘That’s okay. Do you want to start over? There’s nothing wrong with that. Most people have a dozen avatars over the course of their lives, on average. Some have hundreds.’ He held out Zach’s helmet for him to take. ‘Everyone starts over every now and then. Do you know what you want to be?’ Zach shook his head. All the energy and unstoppable youth from last week had drained away. He looked at his helmet, his hands shook. When he lifted it to his head his body jerked and he bent double to vomit on the floor.
     
    Lizney patted him on the back and called the session to a close.
     
    It was some time before Zach was allowed back on the open Weave, and only then with training wheels. He would have to start again on his endurance badge, but could only do that after he had completed the introduction cycle over.
     
    He wasn’t talking to Bron, or any of the other kids. As far as he was concerned they were separate from him while he worked to get out of there. It didn’t stop her trying to talk to him though.
     
    She blocked him in the corridor one day. ‘Can’t you even say good morning?’
     
    ‘Good morning,’ he said and made to move past.
     
    ‘What’s wrong with you?’ Bron asked him.
     
    ‘Hey, I said I was sorry, didn’t I?’
     
    ‘You said it. But why are you angry with me? What did I do?’
     
    ‘Nothing. I’m not angry,’ he insisted.
     
    ‘What happened to you? Why are you being mean to me?’ Her eyes loaded with tears. He didn’t want to deal with that.
     
    ‘Go blubber somewhere else, Bron. I’m months behind now thanks to you. Just leave me alone!’ He could hear himself shouting, it bounced back at him from the walls, but he couldn’t pull it back. He meant to say he was sorry, but that voice was small in his head. That was small Zach, the one the larger Zach ignored.
     
    Sitting in his study room, alone at last, he immersed into the null space to run simulations. Since the incident he had started a few courses on self-defence. He’d been an idiot kid before, not interested in anything that wasn’t on the visual plane; but not any more. He figured out how the hakka had trapped him in immersion, interrupting his emergency line with a simple bypass that gave them control of his helmet. The more he learnt, the more he thought how incredibly stupid he had been and he told Mister Lizney as much.
     
    ‘Why hadn’t you trained me to defend myself?’
     
    ‘You’re just a boy, Zach. There should have been no need for such measures. I am sorry for what happened to you.’
     
    ‘Yeah, quite a blemish on your record, I bet. If I kill myself now, it will be even worse for