Man and Superman and Three Other Plays by George Bernard Shaw

his hands behind his back. MRS. WARREN pretends to laugh, but looks after him with perceptible concern. Then she whispers to CROFTS. ] What’s the matter with him? What does he take it like that for? CROFTS [ morosely ] You’re afraid of Praed.
    MRS. WARREN What! Me! Afraid of dear old Praddy! Why, a fly wouldn’t be afraid of him.
    CROFTS You’re afraid of him.
    MRS. WARREN [ angry ] I’ll trouble you to mind your own business, and not try any of your sulks on me. I’m not afraid of you, anyhow. If you can’t make yourself agreeable, you’d better go home. [ She gets up, and, turning her back on him, finds herself face to face with PRAED. ] Come, Praddy, I know it was only your tender heartedness. You’re afraid I’ll bully her.
    PRAED My dear Kitty: you think I’m offended. Don’t imagine that: pray don’t. But you know I often notice things that escape you; and though you never take my advice, you sometimes admit afterwards that you ought to have taken it.
    MRS. WARREN Well, what do you notice now?
    PRAED Only that Vivie is a grown woman. Pray, Kitty, treat her with every respect.
    MRS. WARREN [ with genuine amazement ] Respect! Treat my own daughter with respect! What next, pray!
    VIVIE [ appearing at the cottage door and calling to MRS. WARREN ] Mother: will you come up to my room and take your bonnet off before tea?
    MRS. WARREN Yes, dearie. [ She laughs indulgently at PRAED and pats him on the cheek as she passes him on her way to the porch. She follows VIVIE into the cottage .]
    CROFTS [ furtively ] I say, Praed.
    PRAED Yes.
    CROFTS I want to ask you a rather particular question.
    PRAED Certainly. [ He takes MRS. WARREN’s chair and sits close to CROFTS. ]
    CROFTS That’s right: they might hear us from the window. Look here: did Kitty ever tell you who that girl’s father is?
    PRAED Never.
    CROFTS Have you any suspicion of who it might be?
    PRAED None.
    CROFTS [ not believing him ] I know, of course, that you perhaps might feel bound not to tell if she had said anything to you. But it’s very awkward to be uncertain about it now that we shall be meeting the girl every day. We don’t exactly know how we ought to feel towards her.
    PRAED What difference can that make? We take her on her own merits. What does it matter who her father was?
    CROFTS [ suspiciously ] Then you know who he was?
    PRAED [ with a touch of temper ] I said no just now. Did you not hear me?
    CROFTS Look here, Praed. I ask you as a particular favor. If you do know [ movement of protest from PRAED ]—I only say, i f you know, you might at least set my mind at rest about her. The fact is I feel attracted towards her. Oh, don’t be alarmed: it’s quite an innocent feeling. That’s what puzzles me about it. Why, for all I know, I might be her father.
    PRAED You! Impossible! Oh, no, nonsense!
    CROFTS [ catching him up cunningly ] You know for certain that I’m not?
    PRAED I know nothing about it, I tell you, any more than you. But really, Crofts—oh, no, it’s out of the question. There’s not the least resemblance.
    CROFTS As to that, there’s no resemblance between her and her mother that I can see. I suppose she’s not y o u r daughter, is she?
    PRAED [ He meets the question with an indignant stare; then recovers himself with an effort and answers gently and gravely ] Now listen to me, my dear Crofts. I have nothing to do with that side of Mrs. Warren’s life, and never had. She has never spoken to me about it; and of course I have never spoken to her about it. Your delicacy will tell you that a handsome woman needs some friends who are not—well, not on that footing with her. The effect of her own beauty would become a torment to her if she could not escape from it occasionally. You are probably on much more confidential terms with Kitty than I am. Surely you can ask her the question yourself.
    CROFTS [ rising impatiently ] I have