Make Every Man Want You: How to Be So Irresistible You'll Barely Keep From Dating Yourself! by Marie Forleo Page A
Authors: Marie Forleo
Tags: General, Family & Relationships, Psychology, Interpersonal relations, Self-Help, Personal Growth, Love & Romance, Self-Esteem
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irresistibility.
From a Perfect 10 to a Perfect Nightmare
Ronnie is forty-two and single. He has a fiery personality, a strong athletic body, tan skin, and deep, dark eyes. One evening at a swanky lounge in downtown NYC, he met Sheila, a stunning brunette with dark eyes and a killer body—what many would consider a perfect 10. Sheila and Ronnie hit it off immediately. They danced and felt an undeniable attraction for one another. After about twenty minutes of casual flirting and fun, Ronnie glanced at his watch and realized it was much later than he had thought. He needed to get back to Brooklyn to walk his dog.
Disappointed, Ronnie told Sheila he had to leave but he'd love to see her again. To his delight, she, too, lived in Brooklyn and offered to join him on the late-night dog walk. Ronnie was ecstatic. This beautiful woman he had just met was actually going home with him to walk his dog!
Ronnie and Sheila closed out their tab at the bar and jumped in a taxi. Ronnie was psyched. "She's so great," he thought. "Sweet, gorgeous, lives nearby, and likes dogs." He had been single for a while and was excited at the possibility of a new relationship. What happened next was shocking.
During their cab ride to Ronnie's place, Sheila began to tell him her story. From her troubled childhood to her laundry list of not-so-nice ex-boyfriends, Sheila systematically told Ronnie every sordid detail from her past in hopes of creating an instant, personal connection with him. Between horror stories, she managed to squeeze in how unattractiveshe felt and repeatedly solicited Ronnie's opinion of how she looked.
Ronnie, initially overjoyed about "a perfect 10" coming home with him was now scrambling to figure out how to get as far away from her as possible. He couldn't believe that such a beautiful woman could become so downright nauseating in a matter of minutes. Things got worse. As soon as they arrived at Ronnie's apartment, Sheila insinuated that she wanted to have sex. Ronnie felt bad and uncomfortable. He was so turned off by her stories that he turned her down and politely asked her to leave.
"It was unbelievable," he said. "This absolutely stunning woman became the biggest turnoff I'd ever seen in a matter of minutes. I had
zero
interest in having sex or ever seeing her again because of how much baggage she has."
Bottom line? Unleash your irresistibility by dropping your story. That includes your history (ex-boyfriends, ex-husbands, ex-childhood) as well as self-limiting ideas you tell yourself (you know—that you're not very attractive, you're not good enough, and so on).
If you're a chronic storyteller, practice letting that go and notice what's happening in your environment. Talk about the food, the decor, music, mutual friends, movies, or current events. Share what you're passionate about. Let men experience who you are now as opposed to your well-rehearsed story of your past. When you do talk about your past, do it from a place of self-awareness. Don't victimize yourself or recount tragic events as though they mean something (because they don't). Realize that every experienceyou ever had has brought you to this moment and has served your own personal and spiritual evolution. The past is gone. Dead. Done. Your life is now. When you drop your story and allow yourself to simply be who you are right now, you instantly become more alive, more engaged, and—all together now—"more irresistible."
One important note: dropping your story does not mean you can't talk about the past. Just become aware of how you do it. Don't complain, whine, or victimize yourself. Express who you are in a way that is free from drama and blame.
----
Irresistible Action Challenge
What's your story? List the ideas, beliefs, and theories you have put together over time that, up until reading this chapter, you believed to be true.
Now take a look. Is it possible you've been telling yourself a tall tale? How about stories like Sheila's? Do
From a Perfect 10 to a Perfect Nightmare
Ronnie is forty-two and single. He has a fiery personality, a strong athletic body, tan skin, and deep, dark eyes. One evening at a swanky lounge in downtown NYC, he met Sheila, a stunning brunette with dark eyes and a killer body—what many would consider a perfect 10. Sheila and Ronnie hit it off immediately. They danced and felt an undeniable attraction for one another. After about twenty minutes of casual flirting and fun, Ronnie glanced at his watch and realized it was much later than he had thought. He needed to get back to Brooklyn to walk his dog.
Disappointed, Ronnie told Sheila he had to leave but he'd love to see her again. To his delight, she, too, lived in Brooklyn and offered to join him on the late-night dog walk. Ronnie was ecstatic. This beautiful woman he had just met was actually going home with him to walk his dog!
Ronnie and Sheila closed out their tab at the bar and jumped in a taxi. Ronnie was psyched. "She's so great," he thought. "Sweet, gorgeous, lives nearby, and likes dogs." He had been single for a while and was excited at the possibility of a new relationship. What happened next was shocking.
During their cab ride to Ronnie's place, Sheila began to tell him her story. From her troubled childhood to her laundry list of not-so-nice ex-boyfriends, Sheila systematically told Ronnie every sordid detail from her past in hopes of creating an instant, personal connection with him. Between horror stories, she managed to squeeze in how unattractiveshe felt and repeatedly solicited Ronnie's opinion of how she looked.
Ronnie, initially overjoyed about "a perfect 10" coming home with him was now scrambling to figure out how to get as far away from her as possible. He couldn't believe that such a beautiful woman could become so downright nauseating in a matter of minutes. Things got worse. As soon as they arrived at Ronnie's apartment, Sheila insinuated that she wanted to have sex. Ronnie felt bad and uncomfortable. He was so turned off by her stories that he turned her down and politely asked her to leave.
"It was unbelievable," he said. "This absolutely stunning woman became the biggest turnoff I'd ever seen in a matter of minutes. I had
zero
interest in having sex or ever seeing her again because of how much baggage she has."
Bottom line? Unleash your irresistibility by dropping your story. That includes your history (ex-boyfriends, ex-husbands, ex-childhood) as well as self-limiting ideas you tell yourself (you know—that you're not very attractive, you're not good enough, and so on).
If you're a chronic storyteller, practice letting that go and notice what's happening in your environment. Talk about the food, the decor, music, mutual friends, movies, or current events. Share what you're passionate about. Let men experience who you are now as opposed to your well-rehearsed story of your past. When you do talk about your past, do it from a place of self-awareness. Don't victimize yourself or recount tragic events as though they mean something (because they don't). Realize that every experienceyou ever had has brought you to this moment and has served your own personal and spiritual evolution. The past is gone. Dead. Done. Your life is now. When you drop your story and allow yourself to simply be who you are right now, you instantly become more alive, more engaged, and—all together now—"more irresistible."
One important note: dropping your story does not mean you can't talk about the past. Just become aware of how you do it. Don't complain, whine, or victimize yourself. Express who you are in a way that is free from drama and blame.
----
Irresistible Action Challenge
What's your story? List the ideas, beliefs, and theories you have put together over time that, up until reading this chapter, you believed to be true.
Now take a look. Is it possible you've been telling yourself a tall tale? How about stories like Sheila's? Do
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