well, and told them the story of an old hoot owl that had flown into my yard the day Jack and Michael died. Al, I explained to my attentive audience, perched himself atop my massive ash tree, staking his new claim, and watched over Cody and me year after year.
The temperature had dropped significantly, so we made our way inside where I led the twins through their nighttime routine: a good soak in chocolate-scented bubble bath, two rounds of the alphabet song as they brushed their teeth, and a quick change into jammies. Afterward, we settled into our ritual of bedtime reading. I’d asked Carrie if I could begin the Harry Potter series, and she agreed. Lisbeth devoured books and Timmy, while not as voracious a reader, loved hearing stories read out loud. I wanted to be the one to introduce them to one of Michael’s favorite books, and I was thrilled that it began that night.
By the time I tucked the twins in, I was exhausted and ready for a cool shower. First, however, I made my way to the kitchen for a much needed glass of wine. Savoring the first sip, I reflected on the day, which wasn’t just a celebration of our country’s independence; rather, it was a day filled with deep emotions and bittersweet memories. Torn between the warmth of my grandkids’ love and the deep desire for uncontrollable passion, I was uncertain if there was a place in my life for a lover; after all, I was a widow, hard-working professional and dutiful Nana—how much more could I give? Independence, my ass, I thought, realizing I was more dependent on things and people than I’d like. Just then, my phone went off, clearing my thoughts like the delete button on a keyboard. It was Daniel and I couldn’t unlock the screen fast enough,
Today, 9:16 PM
DANIEL: Rough day?
MAGS: Sorta
DANIEL: Thought of you
MAGS: Me 2, u I mean
DANIEL: Fun with kids, tho?
MAGS: Tons of fun, thx for asking…really
DANIEL: Had a disaster of a date
MAGS: Real live date?
DANIEL: In the flesh
MAGS: Enjoyable flesh?
DANIEL: No, nope, nada
MAGS: Wanna talk about it?
DANIEL: Text ok with you?
I had a flashback of my earlier exchange with Brett and hesitated. I pictured Daniel secretly texting me in bed with a Miss Flesh lying next to him, naked,
DANIEL: U there?
MAGS: Ya, just thinking
DANIEL: About what?
MAGS: Why text and not a call
DANIEL: Dunno
Fuck! That stupid word again. Why do men resort to pre-pubescent speak when they feel cornered by a woman?
MAGS: Heard that word today
DANIEL: What word?
MAGS: Dunno
DANIEL: More…
MAGS: Cocky jock’s been into more than me
DANIEL: Oh no, mags
MAGS: Ya, and I was having so much fun, really liked the guy
DANIEL: What a let down
MAGS: Ya
DANIEL: So, you worry that I’m into more than just you?
MAGS: U r diff, we know this isn’t real
DANIEL: Isn’t it?
MAGS: U know what I mean
DANIEL: No, what
MAGS: We do our virtual thing but have real lives
DANIEL: So this isn’t real
MAGS: Not in the physical sense
DANIEL: Don’t u feel anything physical?
I was beginning to feel interrogated and didn’t like it. My head was swirling with images, words, thoughts and feelings about Daniel, Brett…even Bill. I wanted the fling with Daniel to remain simple and easy. His questions opened up an emotional portal I didn’t want to access…not now. Was he falling for me?
MAGS: Oh yeah I do
DANIEL: Me 2, so it’s real
MAGS: You know what I mean!
DANIEL: Not really, no
MAGS: U fucking with me?
DANIEL: Nope
MAGS: U falling for me?
DANIEL: In a way
MAGS: What way?
DANIEL: No strings, no baggage, nothing to get in the way
MAGS: Kinda like a hooker?
DANIEL: In a good way
MAGS: How can that be good?
DANIEL: Turn it around, Mags, what do u like about it?
I thought about Daniel’s question for a minute, drafting a mental note about what I liked about our arrangement: no commitment, no pressure, no love lost…
MAGS: The same kinds of things
DANIEL: So it’s real
MAGS: Like vacant lot in a
The temperature had dropped significantly, so we made our way inside where I led the twins through their nighttime routine: a good soak in chocolate-scented bubble bath, two rounds of the alphabet song as they brushed their teeth, and a quick change into jammies. Afterward, we settled into our ritual of bedtime reading. I’d asked Carrie if I could begin the Harry Potter series, and she agreed. Lisbeth devoured books and Timmy, while not as voracious a reader, loved hearing stories read out loud. I wanted to be the one to introduce them to one of Michael’s favorite books, and I was thrilled that it began that night.
By the time I tucked the twins in, I was exhausted and ready for a cool shower. First, however, I made my way to the kitchen for a much needed glass of wine. Savoring the first sip, I reflected on the day, which wasn’t just a celebration of our country’s independence; rather, it was a day filled with deep emotions and bittersweet memories. Torn between the warmth of my grandkids’ love and the deep desire for uncontrollable passion, I was uncertain if there was a place in my life for a lover; after all, I was a widow, hard-working professional and dutiful Nana—how much more could I give? Independence, my ass, I thought, realizing I was more dependent on things and people than I’d like. Just then, my phone went off, clearing my thoughts like the delete button on a keyboard. It was Daniel and I couldn’t unlock the screen fast enough,
Today, 9:16 PM
DANIEL: Rough day?
MAGS: Sorta
DANIEL: Thought of you
MAGS: Me 2, u I mean
DANIEL: Fun with kids, tho?
MAGS: Tons of fun, thx for asking…really
DANIEL: Had a disaster of a date
MAGS: Real live date?
DANIEL: In the flesh
MAGS: Enjoyable flesh?
DANIEL: No, nope, nada
MAGS: Wanna talk about it?
DANIEL: Text ok with you?
I had a flashback of my earlier exchange with Brett and hesitated. I pictured Daniel secretly texting me in bed with a Miss Flesh lying next to him, naked,
DANIEL: U there?
MAGS: Ya, just thinking
DANIEL: About what?
MAGS: Why text and not a call
DANIEL: Dunno
Fuck! That stupid word again. Why do men resort to pre-pubescent speak when they feel cornered by a woman?
MAGS: Heard that word today
DANIEL: What word?
MAGS: Dunno
DANIEL: More…
MAGS: Cocky jock’s been into more than me
DANIEL: Oh no, mags
MAGS: Ya, and I was having so much fun, really liked the guy
DANIEL: What a let down
MAGS: Ya
DANIEL: So, you worry that I’m into more than just you?
MAGS: U r diff, we know this isn’t real
DANIEL: Isn’t it?
MAGS: U know what I mean
DANIEL: No, what
MAGS: We do our virtual thing but have real lives
DANIEL: So this isn’t real
MAGS: Not in the physical sense
DANIEL: Don’t u feel anything physical?
I was beginning to feel interrogated and didn’t like it. My head was swirling with images, words, thoughts and feelings about Daniel, Brett…even Bill. I wanted the fling with Daniel to remain simple and easy. His questions opened up an emotional portal I didn’t want to access…not now. Was he falling for me?
MAGS: Oh yeah I do
DANIEL: Me 2, so it’s real
MAGS: You know what I mean!
DANIEL: Not really, no
MAGS: U fucking with me?
DANIEL: Nope
MAGS: U falling for me?
DANIEL: In a way
MAGS: What way?
DANIEL: No strings, no baggage, nothing to get in the way
MAGS: Kinda like a hooker?
DANIEL: In a good way
MAGS: How can that be good?
DANIEL: Turn it around, Mags, what do u like about it?
I thought about Daniel’s question for a minute, drafting a mental note about what I liked about our arrangement: no commitment, no pressure, no love lost…
MAGS: The same kinds of things
DANIEL: So it’s real
MAGS: Like vacant lot in a
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