to my world. I’ve gained five pounds since they opened a location on my block. I’ve had to take up jogging to compensate and, as anyone with double D breasts will tell you, that is an exercise in pure bouncy agony.
Don’t worry about getting Dad bod.
You’ll still be hot from the neck up ;).
Penny, who is confident in your ability to be magnificent even with an ice cream paunch
Text from Bash: Maybe we should go running together sometime. We could inspire each other…
From Penny: What do I get out of this running arrangement? Do you have any bouncing body parts I’m going to find inspirational?
Bash: I can go without a shirt and let you watch my paunch jiggle…
Penny: Oh, stop it. You do not have a paunch. You’re too much of a control freak to let yourself go. I’ll believe this paunch nonsense when I see it.
Bash: Come over. I’ll get an extra pint of Salted Caramel Crack for you. We can eat it on the couch while watching late night and you can see my paunch grow in person.
Penny: It’s too late for me. I would fall asleep on the train.
Bash: Liar. You’re just determined never to hang out with me. There go my plans for an office Christmas party…
Penny: Lol. Can you still call it a party if only two people are invited?
Bash: Three if you count my paunch.
Penny: Five if you count the bouncing betties.
Bash: Double Ds you say? Hmmm…
I guess they can each be counted as their own separate entity. I’ll arrange invites for all three of you.
How’s December 23 rd work? I have another party on the 22 nd and the 24 th belongs to my mother and her new boyfriend, but I can pull together an office party by the 23 rd if you’ll promise to come out.
Or I can come to your side of the river if that’s easier.
It’s been over a year of working bliss. I think we should meet in person, don’t you?
Penny: I think you don’t like being alone. That’s what I think.
Bash: …okay then.
Guess I’ll let you go.
Enjoy the rest of your weekend.
Penny: I’m sorry… I was just kidding. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.
I would love to party with you on the 23 rd , but I’ve got company coming for the holidays. Can I take a rain check?
Bash: Sure. Consider yourself rain checked. ’Night.
Penny: Seriously Bash, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.
That was way more about me than you.
As you’ve obviously noticed, I don’t get out much, but I’m going to start. I promise. And when I do, you’re going to be the first person I want to see.
I think it’s time we met, too.
It’s kind of strange that the person I say good night to almost every night is someone I’ve only seen in pictures.
Bash: Try having no idea what your good night person looks like… *side eye*
Penny: Okay, fine! See attached picture of my feet at this very moment.
Bash: Wow! Feet!
And they’re wearing some very nice reindeer socks with separate compartments for each little toe. At this rate, I’ll have a good mental picture of what you look like below the knees by the time I’m forty.
Penny: :P. Good night, Mr. Prince. Enjoy your ice cream.
Bash: Good night, buttercup. Keep those toes cozy. Touch base with you Monday.
CHAPTER TWENTY
By morning—after hours of tossing and turning and dreaming about fucking Penny in every filthy way I’ve ever had a woman and a few new ways my subconscious whipped up specifically for her—I realize that this has been coming for a long time. Way longer than last Sunday, when I finally laid eyes on more of Penny than her adorable little toes.
Even her toes are sexy. As sexy as her quick mind and the way she makes me laugh and how she’s not afraid to call me on my bullshit.
But then that’s part of the problem…
I’m not a fool or the kind of person who lives his life with his head completely in the sand. Since Rachael, I’ve been jumping from short-term relationship to
Don’t worry about getting Dad bod.
You’ll still be hot from the neck up ;).
Penny, who is confident in your ability to be magnificent even with an ice cream paunch
Text from Bash: Maybe we should go running together sometime. We could inspire each other…
From Penny: What do I get out of this running arrangement? Do you have any bouncing body parts I’m going to find inspirational?
Bash: I can go without a shirt and let you watch my paunch jiggle…
Penny: Oh, stop it. You do not have a paunch. You’re too much of a control freak to let yourself go. I’ll believe this paunch nonsense when I see it.
Bash: Come over. I’ll get an extra pint of Salted Caramel Crack for you. We can eat it on the couch while watching late night and you can see my paunch grow in person.
Penny: It’s too late for me. I would fall asleep on the train.
Bash: Liar. You’re just determined never to hang out with me. There go my plans for an office Christmas party…
Penny: Lol. Can you still call it a party if only two people are invited?
Bash: Three if you count my paunch.
Penny: Five if you count the bouncing betties.
Bash: Double Ds you say? Hmmm…
I guess they can each be counted as their own separate entity. I’ll arrange invites for all three of you.
How’s December 23 rd work? I have another party on the 22 nd and the 24 th belongs to my mother and her new boyfriend, but I can pull together an office party by the 23 rd if you’ll promise to come out.
Or I can come to your side of the river if that’s easier.
It’s been over a year of working bliss. I think we should meet in person, don’t you?
Penny: I think you don’t like being alone. That’s what I think.
Bash: …okay then.
Guess I’ll let you go.
Enjoy the rest of your weekend.
Penny: I’m sorry… I was just kidding. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.
I would love to party with you on the 23 rd , but I’ve got company coming for the holidays. Can I take a rain check?
Bash: Sure. Consider yourself rain checked. ’Night.
Penny: Seriously Bash, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.
That was way more about me than you.
As you’ve obviously noticed, I don’t get out much, but I’m going to start. I promise. And when I do, you’re going to be the first person I want to see.
I think it’s time we met, too.
It’s kind of strange that the person I say good night to almost every night is someone I’ve only seen in pictures.
Bash: Try having no idea what your good night person looks like… *side eye*
Penny: Okay, fine! See attached picture of my feet at this very moment.
Bash: Wow! Feet!
And they’re wearing some very nice reindeer socks with separate compartments for each little toe. At this rate, I’ll have a good mental picture of what you look like below the knees by the time I’m forty.
Penny: :P. Good night, Mr. Prince. Enjoy your ice cream.
Bash: Good night, buttercup. Keep those toes cozy. Touch base with you Monday.
CHAPTER TWENTY
By morning—after hours of tossing and turning and dreaming about fucking Penny in every filthy way I’ve ever had a woman and a few new ways my subconscious whipped up specifically for her—I realize that this has been coming for a long time. Way longer than last Sunday, when I finally laid eyes on more of Penny than her adorable little toes.
Even her toes are sexy. As sexy as her quick mind and the way she makes me laugh and how she’s not afraid to call me on my bullshit.
But then that’s part of the problem…
I’m not a fool or the kind of person who lives his life with his head completely in the sand. Since Rachael, I’ve been jumping from short-term relationship to
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