check on
Matt. And yes, to see you.”
I don’t turn around.
I can’t. I forced her out of retirement, cost the Society at least
a million dollars to rescue me, and got her grandson shot up so badly
that he almost died. We’ve had our differences lately, and are not
as close as we once were, but I still feel ashamed for what I’ve
put her through. I saw her briefly when we arrived here, but we
haven’t been alone until now.
“I’m sorry,” I
tell her softly.
“I wish you had come
to me,” she says, moving in front of me to sit next to Matt.
She takes his hand in
hers, and kisses the back of it. Then she moves some of his hair off
his forehead. She closes her eyes, and lets out a weary sigh.
“I didn’t mean for
any of this to happen. I didn’t think he’d come after me. I was
hoping you’d save the convent, but I didn’t expect you to get to
me in time.”
“Why, Reina? Because
of what happened with Darcy? Do you think I would hold your animosity
against you and let you suffer?”
“I honestly didn’t
care.”
“Did you care that
you almost brought down an entire company, along with the Society? Or
have you forgotten that as long as there are two Corrigan men living,
they both need to be part of the company in order for it not to be
dissolved?”
Shit. I did forget. “I
forgot, but again, I didn’t expect him to come for me. He made me
sign divorce papers, so why would I think he cared?”
“He made you? My
grandson held a gun to your head and forced your signature on those
papers?”
“No. He didn’t hold
a gun to me, but he’d already signed. What was I supposed to do?”
“Fight for him. Fight him . You are so
strong in everything else, Reina. Why can’t you be strong with
Matt?”
“I don’t know. He’s
like my Kryptonite. When he’s near me, I just lose all of my
strength. I can argue with him, and tell him off. Even kick him out
of our bed, but I can’t make him choose me. He’ll never choose
me, and I just lied to you. I do know why.”
“Reina?”
“I’m not enough,
Jane. I’m not pretty enough, smart enough, strong enough,
compassionate enough, or really just ‘anything’ enough for him.
That’s why I don’t fight for him. Why fight a battle that I lost
years ago?”
“That’s not true.
Not at all,” Jane says, looking alarmed.
“When it comes to
him, it is. I have just never been enough for him. To him.”
“I don’t think
that’s true. Miles told me about the emails, and I think you’re
taking them the wrong way. He didn’t write them to hurt you, or
make you feel like ‘less.’ He wrote them because he was too
broken to tell you those things in person, but he needed to tell
you.”
“Then why not email
me for real? If he hadn’t almost died, I would’ve never even
known they existed. It honestly would have been better that way. He’s
already divorcing me.”
“Did he have an
explanation for that?”
“I didn’t read the
last ones,” I admit. “I can’t bear to know that he came for me
out of pity.”
“I don’t think
that’s what you’ll find.”
“We’ll just have to
disagree on this.”
“We disagree on quite
a bit, which is why it was more than a little shocking for you to
hand the Society back to me. Running is not your style.”
I was wondering when we
would get to this. “We’ve made our peace about what happened with
Darcy. I know we both have the same vision for the new Society.”
“Reina, you are
coming back, aren’t you?”
I shake my head. “No.”
“You must. Not just
because I was enjoying my retirement, but for the women sitting in
the waiting room out there. You are their leader.”
“I’m sorry about
your retirement, but I just can’t go back. Alex can be a figurehead
while Stella and Tegan run things. Audrey, too, once she has the
baby.”
“You’re going to
let everyone down because your heart is broken? I expect better of
you, Reina.”
“And that right there
is why I’m leaving.
Matt. And yes, to see you.”
I don’t turn around.
I can’t. I forced her out of retirement, cost the Society at least
a million dollars to rescue me, and got her grandson shot up so badly
that he almost died. We’ve had our differences lately, and are not
as close as we once were, but I still feel ashamed for what I’ve
put her through. I saw her briefly when we arrived here, but we
haven’t been alone until now.
“I’m sorry,” I
tell her softly.
“I wish you had come
to me,” she says, moving in front of me to sit next to Matt.
She takes his hand in
hers, and kisses the back of it. Then she moves some of his hair off
his forehead. She closes her eyes, and lets out a weary sigh.
“I didn’t mean for
any of this to happen. I didn’t think he’d come after me. I was
hoping you’d save the convent, but I didn’t expect you to get to
me in time.”
“Why, Reina? Because
of what happened with Darcy? Do you think I would hold your animosity
against you and let you suffer?”
“I honestly didn’t
care.”
“Did you care that
you almost brought down an entire company, along with the Society? Or
have you forgotten that as long as there are two Corrigan men living,
they both need to be part of the company in order for it not to be
dissolved?”
Shit. I did forget. “I
forgot, but again, I didn’t expect him to come for me. He made me
sign divorce papers, so why would I think he cared?”
“He made you? My
grandson held a gun to your head and forced your signature on those
papers?”
“No. He didn’t hold
a gun to me, but he’d already signed. What was I supposed to do?”
“Fight for him. Fight him . You are so
strong in everything else, Reina. Why can’t you be strong with
Matt?”
“I don’t know. He’s
like my Kryptonite. When he’s near me, I just lose all of my
strength. I can argue with him, and tell him off. Even kick him out
of our bed, but I can’t make him choose me. He’ll never choose
me, and I just lied to you. I do know why.”
“Reina?”
“I’m not enough,
Jane. I’m not pretty enough, smart enough, strong enough,
compassionate enough, or really just ‘anything’ enough for him.
That’s why I don’t fight for him. Why fight a battle that I lost
years ago?”
“That’s not true.
Not at all,” Jane says, looking alarmed.
“When it comes to
him, it is. I have just never been enough for him. To him.”
“I don’t think
that’s true. Miles told me about the emails, and I think you’re
taking them the wrong way. He didn’t write them to hurt you, or
make you feel like ‘less.’ He wrote them because he was too
broken to tell you those things in person, but he needed to tell
you.”
“Then why not email
me for real? If he hadn’t almost died, I would’ve never even
known they existed. It honestly would have been better that way. He’s
already divorcing me.”
“Did he have an
explanation for that?”
“I didn’t read the
last ones,” I admit. “I can’t bear to know that he came for me
out of pity.”
“I don’t think
that’s what you’ll find.”
“We’ll just have to
disagree on this.”
“We disagree on quite
a bit, which is why it was more than a little shocking for you to
hand the Society back to me. Running is not your style.”
I was wondering when we
would get to this. “We’ve made our peace about what happened with
Darcy. I know we both have the same vision for the new Society.”
“Reina, you are
coming back, aren’t you?”
I shake my head. “No.”
“You must. Not just
because I was enjoying my retirement, but for the women sitting in
the waiting room out there. You are their leader.”
“I’m sorry about
your retirement, but I just can’t go back. Alex can be a figurehead
while Stella and Tegan run things. Audrey, too, once she has the
baby.”
“You’re going to
let everyone down because your heart is broken? I expect better of
you, Reina.”
“And that right there
is why I’m leaving.
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