Brie and Chase are going to stay at her parents’ place, as they have the spare room and Carter and I have sporadic events planned over the next couple days. The truck ride to the Sava’s is noisy to say the least, between Brie and I scream singing country music and the roars of laughter, the trip is a lot shorter than I remember.
Climbing out of this truck triggers me to make a mental note, not to skip out of my workout regimen. With Chase not constantly around, I won’t have the daily reminders and push that he typically provides me, either before work or after. Thinking back to my first year in Florida, I just was... I went to work and home, but once Brielle moved down, I started to adjust to the normal life of a twenty-three year old and tried living life again without hesitation and the feeling of being broken.
Nevertheless, something was always off, I hadn’t forgiven myself for an incident that I could not control any more than the weather. Carter’s short, unexpected visit helped heal that last part of me. Knowing that the one person I ran from to avoid heartbreak and disappointment later down the road, still loved me, and never blamed me for the loss of our child was the game changer in my life. Why I waited so long for that interaction, I may never know aside from the fear of rejection or angst of losing more than I already had.
After a short visit with Brie’s parents, Joel and Meredith, we leave the four of them and head back to my place so Hannah can get ready for dinner. After about ten minutes on the road she sighs, capturing my attention, I look over briefly to see her head back against the headrest with her eyes closed. Reflexively, I reach over and rest my hand on her thigh, turning my eyes back to the road allowing her the time she needs to herself. Coming back after the miscarriage has always been a struggle for her, seeing her from a distance and listening to Tracie as she unloaded her worries once Hannah flew back to Florida and now seeing it up close causes that pain to deepen to a whole new level.
I was going to take Hannah the gravesite that I had taken care of once she was released from the hospital and shutting the world out after the accident, but seeing the emotions roll across her face, I reconsider my plan and decide to wait until later tonight or tomorrow. Pulling into the garage, I gently squeeze her thigh waking and alerting her that we need to get ready for dinner that will commence in about an hour. I grab her luggage and open the door for her before she finally moves from her resting position.
“Let’s go, beautiful, you can get settled and then ready for dinner. Your parents are eager to see you,” I mention as I help her out of the truck.
“Sorry I passed out on you Carter, it’s just a little overwhelming the first day back, especially for the holidays,” she whispers to my chest.
After a quick tour of my place, because let’s face it, I am a bachelor with no need to impress anyone other than Hannah, and even though she has a ginormous house in Florida, this is where she came from. Simplicity. I lead her back to my bedroom, and hoist her luggage onto the bed with a grunt; I think she packed enough to stay until spring.
“Christ Hannah, did you pack enough,” I say laughing as she starts to remove and sort her belongings laying different piles on the bed. Without thinking, I begin picking them up, placing her clothes into the dresser drawers, and hanging some of them in the closet. Once her suitcases are empty, she looks at me then around the room and smiles her breathtaking smile.
“I didn’t know what the weather was going to be like, and thank you for finding a place for everything,” she says while worrying on her lower lip. Taking her into my arms, I lean down and kiss her forehead as her hands find a place to rest in my back pockets.
“I have somewhere we need to go tonight or tomorrow, depending on how you are feeling and how tired you are.
Climbing out of this truck triggers me to make a mental note, not to skip out of my workout regimen. With Chase not constantly around, I won’t have the daily reminders and push that he typically provides me, either before work or after. Thinking back to my first year in Florida, I just was... I went to work and home, but once Brielle moved down, I started to adjust to the normal life of a twenty-three year old and tried living life again without hesitation and the feeling of being broken.
Nevertheless, something was always off, I hadn’t forgiven myself for an incident that I could not control any more than the weather. Carter’s short, unexpected visit helped heal that last part of me. Knowing that the one person I ran from to avoid heartbreak and disappointment later down the road, still loved me, and never blamed me for the loss of our child was the game changer in my life. Why I waited so long for that interaction, I may never know aside from the fear of rejection or angst of losing more than I already had.
After a short visit with Brie’s parents, Joel and Meredith, we leave the four of them and head back to my place so Hannah can get ready for dinner. After about ten minutes on the road she sighs, capturing my attention, I look over briefly to see her head back against the headrest with her eyes closed. Reflexively, I reach over and rest my hand on her thigh, turning my eyes back to the road allowing her the time she needs to herself. Coming back after the miscarriage has always been a struggle for her, seeing her from a distance and listening to Tracie as she unloaded her worries once Hannah flew back to Florida and now seeing it up close causes that pain to deepen to a whole new level.
I was going to take Hannah the gravesite that I had taken care of once she was released from the hospital and shutting the world out after the accident, but seeing the emotions roll across her face, I reconsider my plan and decide to wait until later tonight or tomorrow. Pulling into the garage, I gently squeeze her thigh waking and alerting her that we need to get ready for dinner that will commence in about an hour. I grab her luggage and open the door for her before she finally moves from her resting position.
“Let’s go, beautiful, you can get settled and then ready for dinner. Your parents are eager to see you,” I mention as I help her out of the truck.
“Sorry I passed out on you Carter, it’s just a little overwhelming the first day back, especially for the holidays,” she whispers to my chest.
After a quick tour of my place, because let’s face it, I am a bachelor with no need to impress anyone other than Hannah, and even though she has a ginormous house in Florida, this is where she came from. Simplicity. I lead her back to my bedroom, and hoist her luggage onto the bed with a grunt; I think she packed enough to stay until spring.
“Christ Hannah, did you pack enough,” I say laughing as she starts to remove and sort her belongings laying different piles on the bed. Without thinking, I begin picking them up, placing her clothes into the dresser drawers, and hanging some of them in the closet. Once her suitcases are empty, she looks at me then around the room and smiles her breathtaking smile.
“I didn’t know what the weather was going to be like, and thank you for finding a place for everything,” she says while worrying on her lower lip. Taking her into my arms, I lean down and kiss her forehead as her hands find a place to rest in my back pockets.
“I have somewhere we need to go tonight or tomorrow, depending on how you are feeling and how tired you are.
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