Love Virtually by Daniel Glattauer

he’s not already under general anesthetic. There’s your answer to how I manage with the kids.
    Till later,
    Emmi
    Six hours later
    Subject: (no subject)
    O.K., Leo, I’m sitting in my study, Bernhard’s still working, Fiona’s staying over at a friend’s, Jonas is asleep (minus two teeth), Wurlitzer’s eating dog food (much cheaper, and Wurlitzer doesn’t seem to mind, as long as there’s enough of it). You know we don’t have chipmunks—if we did, the cat would probably want to eat them too. I’m being stared at reproachfully by the furniture. Scenting betrayal, it threatens me: You’d better not let on how much we cost, what color we are or what our design is! The piano’s saying: Don’t you dare tell him that Bernhard was your piano teacher! Don’t tell him how it felt the first time you kissed, and how you made love on top of me. The bookcase is asking: Who is this Leo anyway? What’s he doing here? Why do you spend so much time with him? Why do you ignore me most of the time? Why have you become so preoccupied? The CD player is telling me: Soon it’s going to get so bad that you won’t play Rachmaninoff anymore—don’t forget how important music is to your relationship with Bernhard—instead you’ll want to know what this Leo likes to listen to. Who knows, it might be the Sugarbabes! Only the wine rack has something to say in your defense: Well, I don’t have anything against Leo, the three of us get along just fine. But I hear threats from the bed: Don’t lie here dreaming about being somewhere else. Don’t get caught here with Leo. That’s a warning!
    I can’t do it, Leo. I can’t share this world with you. You can never become a part of it. It’s impenetrable, like a fortress. It can’t be conquered, it allows no one to intrude, it resolutely keeps them out. You and I have to stay “outside,” Leo, it’s our only chance. I’ll lose you otherwise. You asked how I “cope” with my marriage? Admirably, and I mean that! And Bernhard does too. He worships me. I respect and treasure him. We respect each other. He would never deceive me. I could never let him down. We would never want to hurt each other. We’ve built up a life together. We depend on each other. We’ve got music, we have the theater. We’ve got lots of friends in common. Fiona, she’s sixteen, she’s like a younger sister to me. And I really have become a kind of mother to Jonas. His mother died when he was three.
    Leo, please don’t force me to open my family album. Why don’t we do it like this: I’ll tell you about my home life if I feel like it, if I’ve got something on my mind, if I want to confide in a very close friend. But you can tell me about your private life anytime you want, down to the very last, explosive detail. (Just don’t go into anything erotic—I forbid you!)
    I’m off to bed now—and I’m finally going to get a good night’s sleep. I’m so glad you’re back, Leo!! I need you! I have to be able to live, breathe, and feel beyond my world here as well. You are my other world! And we can talk about Marlene tomorrow—I’m going to need a clear head for that. Good night, my love! And a good night kiss!
    The next day
    Subject: Marlene
    Good morning, Leo. If you can’t be with each other, and you can’t be without each other, the only other option is to find someone else. You need someone else, Leo. You need to fall in love again. And that’s when you’ll realize what you’ve been missing all this time. Closeness isn’t just an absence of distance, it means actively eliminating it. The thrill doesn’t stem from a lack of completeness, but from constantly striving for it, and clinging on to it when you’ve got it. There’s nothing else, Leo, we need to find you a woman! Of course it would