make the mistake of meeting you. Her exact words were, âA meeting would be the end of your relationship. And this relationship is doing you a world of good!â
Bye,
Leo
Two hours later
Re: Mia!
O.K. Leo, our meeting can wait, Iâm reconciled to that. Youâll make a patient woman of me yet! Iâm delighted your sister has been thinking about us. But how can she be so sure that our ârelationshipâ would be over if we met? And who does she think would end it: you or me?
One other thing: in your email yesterday evening you referred to me as âhappily married.â Why did you put âhappily marriedâ in quotation marks? That makes me think you wanted to make some kind of rhetorical remark, with a tiny tinge of facetiousness to it. Do you know what I mean?
Now back to Mia, youâve misunderstood me entirely there. Sheâs not just some kind of eye-catching beauty from a fashion mag. Mia is a really lovely woman, and sheâs slipped into being single without wanting to. A typical case of relationship mismanagement in her younger years. When she was nineteen she met a man, an Adonis on the outside, a bundle of testosterone, a real sex machine. But on the inside he was empty, especially in the brains department. Two terrible years of waiting and hoping, and then finally he opened his mouth and the magic was gone. So sheâs twenty-one and immediately meets another muscle-bound hunk. And she thinks: Thereâs got to be more to this one. But there isnât, so on to the next. This develops into a classic female pattern: she thinks she needs the same kind of guy each time, to correct the âmistakesâ made the first time around. But with each subsequent mistake sheâs drawn ever more strongly to the same type.
Miaâs men all looked identical, and not one of them was able to compensate for the shortcomings of his predecessor. On the contrary, each succeeded in reiterating that his predecessor was just as hollow as he was himself. For two years sheâs been far too exhausted and unmotivated to meet new men. She never makes any approaches. Recently she said to me that if I ever met anyone nice, I should feel free to introduce her. But she doesnât want to have to make too much effort. If it doesnât happen of its own accord, then it wonât happen at all. Thatâs Mia for you. Iâm telling you, Leo, youâll really like her.
An hour and a half later
Re: Mia!
Dear Emmi,
Iâll deal with your opening questions first:
1) My sister didnât specify which of the two of us would be the first to end our ârelationshipâ (is it O.K. to put relationship in quotation marks?) after a meeting. She was probably thinking that our written exchanges would be incompatible with face-to-face conversation, and that would soon end the whole thing.
2) Itâs astonishing how much you pick up on! I didnât put âhappily marriedâ in quotation marks consciously. Maybe the software does it automatically. No, in all seriousness, the expression is yours and I was quoting it, because I always feel that âhappily marriedâ is a subjective notion. I doubt, for example, that what I understand by âhappily marriedâ is the same as how you or your husband perceive it. In any case it really isnât important, is it? It was never meant to be facetious, and in future Iâll leave out the quotation marks, O.K.?
And now to your friend Mia. Next time you see her, by all means say you know a man who has also tried repeatedly to correct the âmistakesâ from the first time, except that he only needs, or rather needed, one woman to do so. A man whoâs just as exhausted and unmotivated to meet new people. A man whoâs also stopped making any kind of advance toward women, who doesnât want to have to make too much effort. Everythingâs got to come to him, and if it doesnât then itâs not going
Bye,
Leo
Two hours later
Re: Mia!
O.K. Leo, our meeting can wait, Iâm reconciled to that. Youâll make a patient woman of me yet! Iâm delighted your sister has been thinking about us. But how can she be so sure that our ârelationshipâ would be over if we met? And who does she think would end it: you or me?
One other thing: in your email yesterday evening you referred to me as âhappily married.â Why did you put âhappily marriedâ in quotation marks? That makes me think you wanted to make some kind of rhetorical remark, with a tiny tinge of facetiousness to it. Do you know what I mean?
Now back to Mia, youâve misunderstood me entirely there. Sheâs not just some kind of eye-catching beauty from a fashion mag. Mia is a really lovely woman, and sheâs slipped into being single without wanting to. A typical case of relationship mismanagement in her younger years. When she was nineteen she met a man, an Adonis on the outside, a bundle of testosterone, a real sex machine. But on the inside he was empty, especially in the brains department. Two terrible years of waiting and hoping, and then finally he opened his mouth and the magic was gone. So sheâs twenty-one and immediately meets another muscle-bound hunk. And she thinks: Thereâs got to be more to this one. But there isnât, so on to the next. This develops into a classic female pattern: she thinks she needs the same kind of guy each time, to correct the âmistakesâ made the first time around. But with each subsequent mistake sheâs drawn ever more strongly to the same type.
Miaâs men all looked identical, and not one of them was able to compensate for the shortcomings of his predecessor. On the contrary, each succeeded in reiterating that his predecessor was just as hollow as he was himself. For two years sheâs been far too exhausted and unmotivated to meet new men. She never makes any approaches. Recently she said to me that if I ever met anyone nice, I should feel free to introduce her. But she doesnât want to have to make too much effort. If it doesnât happen of its own accord, then it wonât happen at all. Thatâs Mia for you. Iâm telling you, Leo, youâll really like her.
An hour and a half later
Re: Mia!
Dear Emmi,
Iâll deal with your opening questions first:
1) My sister didnât specify which of the two of us would be the first to end our ârelationshipâ (is it O.K. to put relationship in quotation marks?) after a meeting. She was probably thinking that our written exchanges would be incompatible with face-to-face conversation, and that would soon end the whole thing.
2) Itâs astonishing how much you pick up on! I didnât put âhappily marriedâ in quotation marks consciously. Maybe the software does it automatically. No, in all seriousness, the expression is yours and I was quoting it, because I always feel that âhappily marriedâ is a subjective notion. I doubt, for example, that what I understand by âhappily marriedâ is the same as how you or your husband perceive it. In any case it really isnât important, is it? It was never meant to be facetious, and in future Iâll leave out the quotation marks, O.K.?
And now to your friend Mia. Next time you see her, by all means say you know a man who has also tried repeatedly to correct the âmistakesâ from the first time, except that he only needs, or rather needed, one woman to do so. A man whoâs just as exhausted and unmotivated to meet new people. A man whoâs also stopped making any kind of advance toward women, who doesnât want to have to make too much effort. Everythingâs got to come to him, and if it doesnât then itâs not going
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