to eat.
“That reminds me.” She got up and returned with a small piece of paper. “A Tim called last night and left you a number. He asked you to call him back when you had a chance.” She placed it near his hand. “He said he gets up early, and that it would be okay to call him before work.” She got up and walked back toward her bedroom, smiling as she turned back, watching Len eat faster.
Once his breakfast was done, he put his dishes in the sink, checked his watch, and picked up the phone. His fingers fumbled as he dialed the number, and he had to start over, but finally the call connected. “Tim, it’s Len.”
He could almost hear the smile come through the phone. “Of course it is. How are you? How’s the car dealership?”
“They laid me off, and I’m working as the stable manager at a farm. I like it.” Len tried to keep his confusion out of his voice. “But….”
“I’m working for Cliff Laughton.” He wasn’t sure if Tim would remember.
92
Andrew Grey
“Isn’t that the guy who kissed you behind the barn in high school?”
He did remember. “Yeah.” Len let a soft sigh travel along the line. “He got married a few years ago and has a little boy named Geoff, but his wife was killed in an accident about a year ago.”
“So he’s available.”
“I guess, but I’m not sure of anything. Whenever he’s nearby, I get these fluttery feelings in my stomach, and whenever we work together, I sometimes think I catch him looking at me.” Len wasn’t sure of anything right now, particularly not after the last three days.
“Have you told him anything?” Len could hear Tim moving around and figured he was getting dressed for work.
Len began talking faster. “That’s the kicker. His sister and I are friends, and Cliff said he thought that she wanted to be more than friends.” “Slow down, Lenny, it’s okay.”
He took a deep breath. “The long and short of it is that I told Cliff I was… gay.” He involuntarily hesitated before saying the last word. “Good for you. And how did it feel?”
Len thought before answering. “Scary and liberating all at the same time.”
“Yeah, that’s a good description. How did he react?”
“That’s the weird part. He said he’d see me in the morning and then went into the house. That was three days ago, and I haven’t seen him since. I think he’s avoiding me.” The confusion he’d been feeling for the last three days came back with a vengeance. “The 93
Love Means Courage
other guys have seen him briefly, but I haven’t seen him or Geoff at all.” He heard Tim’s light chuckle drift through the phone. “It’s not funny!”
“Okay, I’m sorry. I’ll try to explain a few things. First, that tingly feeling is your gaydar. Sort of an innate feeling you get when you’re around another gay man.”
“But Cliff was married to my best friend.”
“That doesn’t mean much. Not when society puts such pressure on people to be normal. Anyway, here’s my advice: give this Cliff a few more days and see what happens. You’re going to have to wait him out. I know it’s hard, but be patient and keep yourself busy. The ice will thaw; you just have to give it time.” Len realized he was being rude, monopolizing the conversation with his problems. “Thanks. So how’s Chicago? Have you met anyone?”
“Actually, I did. His name’s Charlie, and he’s a little younger than me. We went out once, and he asked me out again this weekend.” “Sounds really nice.”
“He is.” Len heard a shuffling noise on Tim’s side of the line.
“I have to get going, or I’ll be late, but it was good talking to you.
I’ll call soon, and you can tell me what happens with Cliff.”
“Okay, thanks for the advice.”
“No problem. I’m here if you need me.” Len smiled as he hung up the phone. He checked his watch, grabbed his lunch and put it in his cooler along with drinks, and headed to his car.
94
Andrew Grey
The farm was still quiet when
“That reminds me.” She got up and returned with a small piece of paper. “A Tim called last night and left you a number. He asked you to call him back when you had a chance.” She placed it near his hand. “He said he gets up early, and that it would be okay to call him before work.” She got up and walked back toward her bedroom, smiling as she turned back, watching Len eat faster.
Once his breakfast was done, he put his dishes in the sink, checked his watch, and picked up the phone. His fingers fumbled as he dialed the number, and he had to start over, but finally the call connected. “Tim, it’s Len.”
He could almost hear the smile come through the phone. “Of course it is. How are you? How’s the car dealership?”
“They laid me off, and I’m working as the stable manager at a farm. I like it.” Len tried to keep his confusion out of his voice. “But….”
“I’m working for Cliff Laughton.” He wasn’t sure if Tim would remember.
92
Andrew Grey
“Isn’t that the guy who kissed you behind the barn in high school?”
He did remember. “Yeah.” Len let a soft sigh travel along the line. “He got married a few years ago and has a little boy named Geoff, but his wife was killed in an accident about a year ago.”
“So he’s available.”
“I guess, but I’m not sure of anything. Whenever he’s nearby, I get these fluttery feelings in my stomach, and whenever we work together, I sometimes think I catch him looking at me.” Len wasn’t sure of anything right now, particularly not after the last three days.
“Have you told him anything?” Len could hear Tim moving around and figured he was getting dressed for work.
Len began talking faster. “That’s the kicker. His sister and I are friends, and Cliff said he thought that she wanted to be more than friends.” “Slow down, Lenny, it’s okay.”
He took a deep breath. “The long and short of it is that I told Cliff I was… gay.” He involuntarily hesitated before saying the last word. “Good for you. And how did it feel?”
Len thought before answering. “Scary and liberating all at the same time.”
“Yeah, that’s a good description. How did he react?”
“That’s the weird part. He said he’d see me in the morning and then went into the house. That was three days ago, and I haven’t seen him since. I think he’s avoiding me.” The confusion he’d been feeling for the last three days came back with a vengeance. “The 93
Love Means Courage
other guys have seen him briefly, but I haven’t seen him or Geoff at all.” He heard Tim’s light chuckle drift through the phone. “It’s not funny!”
“Okay, I’m sorry. I’ll try to explain a few things. First, that tingly feeling is your gaydar. Sort of an innate feeling you get when you’re around another gay man.”
“But Cliff was married to my best friend.”
“That doesn’t mean much. Not when society puts such pressure on people to be normal. Anyway, here’s my advice: give this Cliff a few more days and see what happens. You’re going to have to wait him out. I know it’s hard, but be patient and keep yourself busy. The ice will thaw; you just have to give it time.” Len realized he was being rude, monopolizing the conversation with his problems. “Thanks. So how’s Chicago? Have you met anyone?”
“Actually, I did. His name’s Charlie, and he’s a little younger than me. We went out once, and he asked me out again this weekend.” “Sounds really nice.”
“He is.” Len heard a shuffling noise on Tim’s side of the line.
“I have to get going, or I’ll be late, but it was good talking to you.
I’ll call soon, and you can tell me what happens with Cliff.”
“Okay, thanks for the advice.”
“No problem. I’m here if you need me.” Len smiled as he hung up the phone. He checked his watch, grabbed his lunch and put it in his cooler along with drinks, and headed to his car.
94
Andrew Grey
The farm was still quiet when
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