nods, closes her eyes, dies. I go off, but itâs never the same with anyone else after that.
Guests Come in. Over here. Sit down. Make yourself at home. Are you comfortable? Like something to drink? To eat? I want to tell you something. How about another cushion? Different seat? Try the couch. Itâs much more comfortable. The other sideâthat one has bad springs. Push away the cat. Then Iâll get him away. Rosy, get off. I said to get off. There. Youâre allergic to cat hair? By the way you sneezed. Maybe you donât know you are. Rosy, get out of the room. He never listens. Off the chair yes but not out of the room. And she I mean. To me all cats are hes, isnât that ridiculous? Particularly if you caught two copulating. Because to most people cats are shes. Which would be just as ridiculous if you caught them in the act. But not to me. I mean to me all dogs are shes. But Iâll get her out of the room just in case you are allergic. Some people only become that way to cats later in life. When theyâre adults like you and I. Or like you and me. I can almost never get those two straight too. Rosy, come here. Thataboy. To me sheâll always be a boy. Iâll throw him out of the room and close the door. There. Now watch. You probably wonât sneeze again or at least not for the time youâre here. Now about what I have to tell you. I havenât forgotten. But you sure you donât need more cushions? One more then. Itâs only on the other chair. Iâll get it. No bother. Put it behind your back. Then in top of the couch where your head or neck can rest. How does it feel? Much better I bet. And notice youâre not sneezing anymore. I told you it was the cat. Whatâs that? Another sneeze? It could be from the newspaper ink. So youâve never sneezed from it that you know. Though I always say itâs what you donât know that counts. I donât always say it but have thought of it often and occasionally said it I believe. At least a few times. Maybe only once. Could be I only just thought of it before and once. But Iâll take the newspaper away and throw it into the other room with the cat. Letâs see if he sneezes from the ink. If you sneeze again with both of them out of the room, Iâll almost believe youâre allergic to me. So what I want to talk to you about. Itâs quite important. Very. Though like some music on first? Simple for me to do. Mozart or Bach? To me theyâre the only true composers. Plus a couple of othersâBeethoven of course. And Handel and Haydn, Vivaldi and Bartok. Which would you like? Also Stravinsky, Gabrieli, Mahler and Pärt. Let me also get you that drink. It doesnât have to be stronger than iced tea. Or any mix you want that goes with gin except grapefruit juice Iâve got. Okay, one coming up. Iâll also select what music to play if you wonât. Now what do you think? About the drink and this piece. His number twenty-four. For piano and orchestra. Guess which composer. Wrong. Guess again. Again wrong. I hate guessing games and often the people who participate in them. Itâs not, though, Mozart. Where was I again? What I wanted to tell you. Have to. Important. Extremely. Almost more than I can say. Weâre both comfortable though, correct? Drink. Music. Volume not too loud or low. Reasonably soft couch on that side and mine a relatively easy seat. Air. Howâs the air? I can turn the air conditioner down or off. Iâll leave it at medium. I only had it at high to quickly cool the room, not that itâs that muggy out or hot. But you get used to these things. I do, I donât know about you. Maybe you donât even own one. I almost keep it on steadily till people tell me thereâs a cold wave out. Almost not true. A minor exaggeration. But I think I do overabuse this machine and help create a minor energy crisis with it all by myself. At least for this city.