punishment of sorts. Something I recognized easily because I too carried something like it with me. Bear, is what Hudson called him, didn’t feel worthy of this world and it broke my heart because I knew the self loathing he experienced.
I knew there were no words to comfort him and even if I could’ve given them to him, it wouldn’t have helped. Instead, I gave him what I could in the silence we shared. I let him see everything I’ve kept hidden, hoping he’ll see he wasn’t alone. I expected him to pull away from my touch but he didn’t. He let me in, he let me see the darkness swirling around him. It was strong and I knew it had something to do with his service and the men standing around him. They were all affected by it in some way, but Bear, his wound ran much deeper. And because of who I am, I took it and he walked away knowing he wasn’t alone anymore.
After I pulled away from him, I knew he had given too much of himself. He turned and walked away out of fear. He’s kept his distance from everyone for a long time, I’m pretty sure not even his brother’s standing beside him knows exactly what he’s going through. He left because the dam he built was cracking.
The urge to run after him was strong but there was nothing more I could do for him until he was ready to face it. Stepping towards the last man in the group, I smiled knowing he’s the one Hudson’s been the most worried about. The light in his eyes told me it was all for nothing.
Dinner was exceptional and the rest of the night went off without a hitch. Missy’s a fabulous cook and very loved by the men at her table. She mothered them all, except Kingston. I could tell something was different between the two of them. They barely glanced each other’s way and no one else seemed to notice.
I tuned out of the active conversation long ago. Losing myself in my thoughts, I’m interrupted from them when Hudson softly touches my arm.
“Alice, are you all right?” he asks.
Huh? I look up at him wide eyed, struggling to remember anything anyone said in the last thirty seconds. I had nothing.
“Dizzy asked if you had any family we could contact for you,” his voice is cautious. My gaze shifts to Dizzy who is carefully watching me.
Family.
I did have family but I don’t give them much thought. I knew Erik would have someone watching them in case I did decide to go home. It wasn’t an option for me, not with Erik still out there hunting. I had to keep them safe from him. Besides I wasn’t sure how happy they would be hearing from me anyways.
But now, at the dinner table, a dozen eyes rest on me waiting for my response and I don’t know how to answer. Shrugging, I shift in my seat, keeping my gaze on the delicious chocolate cake I no longer had an appetite for. I don’t respond any further. Thankfully they don’t ask any more questions and the subject is dropped with Missy offering more cake to the table.
Chapter 9
Hudson
I wake with an afghan tucked snug around me, a pillow under my head and my boots sitting neatly beside my chair. It’s dark still and glancing on the clock, it’s sometime early morning. Hoping Alice found everything she needed before bed, I shake my head. I don’t remember falling asleep but the exhaustion I’ve fought the last few days must’ve finally caught up to me when we got home from dinner.
My cell phone chimes from somewhere in the kitchen. I cringe, hoping the noise doesn’t wake Alice. I stand up from my chair, stretch the dull ache that has settled into my lower back and walk into the kitchen. The room is spotless, our cups from this morning sat on the drying rack near the sink.
I pick up my phone and smile at her thoughtfulness. She set my phone onto its charger. A flurry of text messages blink at me. Most are from the guys welcoming me home, offering to help Alice anyway they can and the usual banter. The guys who couldn’t attend the dinner tonight were mostly on assignment or just
I knew there were no words to comfort him and even if I could’ve given them to him, it wouldn’t have helped. Instead, I gave him what I could in the silence we shared. I let him see everything I’ve kept hidden, hoping he’ll see he wasn’t alone. I expected him to pull away from my touch but he didn’t. He let me in, he let me see the darkness swirling around him. It was strong and I knew it had something to do with his service and the men standing around him. They were all affected by it in some way, but Bear, his wound ran much deeper. And because of who I am, I took it and he walked away knowing he wasn’t alone anymore.
After I pulled away from him, I knew he had given too much of himself. He turned and walked away out of fear. He’s kept his distance from everyone for a long time, I’m pretty sure not even his brother’s standing beside him knows exactly what he’s going through. He left because the dam he built was cracking.
The urge to run after him was strong but there was nothing more I could do for him until he was ready to face it. Stepping towards the last man in the group, I smiled knowing he’s the one Hudson’s been the most worried about. The light in his eyes told me it was all for nothing.
Dinner was exceptional and the rest of the night went off without a hitch. Missy’s a fabulous cook and very loved by the men at her table. She mothered them all, except Kingston. I could tell something was different between the two of them. They barely glanced each other’s way and no one else seemed to notice.
I tuned out of the active conversation long ago. Losing myself in my thoughts, I’m interrupted from them when Hudson softly touches my arm.
“Alice, are you all right?” he asks.
Huh? I look up at him wide eyed, struggling to remember anything anyone said in the last thirty seconds. I had nothing.
“Dizzy asked if you had any family we could contact for you,” his voice is cautious. My gaze shifts to Dizzy who is carefully watching me.
Family.
I did have family but I don’t give them much thought. I knew Erik would have someone watching them in case I did decide to go home. It wasn’t an option for me, not with Erik still out there hunting. I had to keep them safe from him. Besides I wasn’t sure how happy they would be hearing from me anyways.
But now, at the dinner table, a dozen eyes rest on me waiting for my response and I don’t know how to answer. Shrugging, I shift in my seat, keeping my gaze on the delicious chocolate cake I no longer had an appetite for. I don’t respond any further. Thankfully they don’t ask any more questions and the subject is dropped with Missy offering more cake to the table.
Chapter 9
Hudson
I wake with an afghan tucked snug around me, a pillow under my head and my boots sitting neatly beside my chair. It’s dark still and glancing on the clock, it’s sometime early morning. Hoping Alice found everything she needed before bed, I shake my head. I don’t remember falling asleep but the exhaustion I’ve fought the last few days must’ve finally caught up to me when we got home from dinner.
My cell phone chimes from somewhere in the kitchen. I cringe, hoping the noise doesn’t wake Alice. I stand up from my chair, stretch the dull ache that has settled into my lower back and walk into the kitchen. The room is spotless, our cups from this morning sat on the drying rack near the sink.
I pick up my phone and smile at her thoughtfulness. She set my phone onto its charger. A flurry of text messages blink at me. Most are from the guys welcoming me home, offering to help Alice anyway they can and the usual banter. The guys who couldn’t attend the dinner tonight were mostly on assignment or just
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