Coach Miller bellows.
Tommy laughs. “I’ll meet you by the truck.”
He jogs off to the locker room, and I follow Emily toward the parking lot as she jingles Derek’s keys.
“Wanna sit in the Beemer while we wait for them?” she asks.
Something pulls at me, and I glance over my shoulder, catching Mr. Slate’s eyes on mine.
I thrust my gaze forward, suddenly rattled. “Uh, yeah okay,” I say, rushing my hand through my hair.
She gives me a sideways glance. “You okay?”
“Yup,” I say, trying to appear at ease. My body feels like it’s on fire— is this how Tommy feels when he’s next to me? I feel like I should go apologize to the poor guy right now and let him have his way with me. How can he stand it?
Emily and I walk in silence until we reach the front of the school.
“You and Tommy seem to be doing better,” she says. Her voice seems careful.
“Yeah, I guess,” I reply.
“You guess?”
“I mean, yeah. Things are . . . fine.”
“You guys seem so happy. What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” I say. “I told you, I’m just tired.”
She stops and turns to me, searching my eyes for answers like I’m in an interrogation room. “That’s not it, Kay. Why are you so closed off?”
Wait. What?
“ I’m closed off?” My buried vexation quickly rises to the surface. “You barely talked to me about the fight on Friday and once you heard my side of the story, I didn’t hear from you all weekend.”
“What did you want me to do? You guys had a fight. Tommy was wrong, but he was just reacting to the way you’ve been treating him. I tried to talk to you about it earlier that day, remember? I warned you.”
“I went to the party to apologize,” I say, feeling defensive.
“That’s not what Jeff said.”
“Jeff? I was the only sober one there; why would you believe anything other than what I tell you? You’re my best friend—”
“We’re all friends, Kaley,” she spits out.
My simmering frustration quickly boils into anger. “So you’re as close with Jeff and Tommy as you are with me?”
She sighs impatiently. “Of course not.”
“Well that’s what you made it sound like.” The volume of my voice is starting to rise, and I try to pull it back. “I just don’t understand you guys.”
“Who?”
“You!” My voice rises again. “Tommy! All of you guys! I just got really crappy news about college. Which, by the way, you don’t even seem to care about. I figured you guys would understand if I was a little depressed about it. Instead, you’re mad at me.”
Okay, so maybe college isn’t my biggest concern right now, but it’s my last ditch effort to validate my behavior.
“I can’t believe you would say that to me,” she says, her eyes wounded. “Of course I care!” People glance our way as they pass and she lowers her voice. “Don’t be ridiculous.”
“Well you have a funny way of showing it,” I say. “According to you and Tommy, I’m apparently not allowed to have a bad day—or a bad week! You’re only satisfied when I’m your little happy-go-lucky robot friend who will drive all your drunken asses home.”
“That’s such a load of crap, Kaley, and you know it.” She turns away from me and sulks off toward the student lot.
I follow after her.
“Is it Ems? Really? Because I can’t think of any other reason why you’d be mad at me right now.”
She whips around, and I have to stop myself from crashing into her. “Because I don’t believe you!”
I step back, her words catching me off guard. “W-what don’t you believe?” The opposing team’s bus turns onto the street, and the lot grows quiet.
“I don’t believe it’s just college,” she says sharply. “There’s something else. Something you’re not telling me. So before you accuse me of not being there for you, why don’t you ask yourself why I can’t be?”
As soon as she says it, I know it’s true.
“Am I right?” she says, her eyes narrowing.
Yes! Of course
Tommy laughs. “I’ll meet you by the truck.”
He jogs off to the locker room, and I follow Emily toward the parking lot as she jingles Derek’s keys.
“Wanna sit in the Beemer while we wait for them?” she asks.
Something pulls at me, and I glance over my shoulder, catching Mr. Slate’s eyes on mine.
I thrust my gaze forward, suddenly rattled. “Uh, yeah okay,” I say, rushing my hand through my hair.
She gives me a sideways glance. “You okay?”
“Yup,” I say, trying to appear at ease. My body feels like it’s on fire— is this how Tommy feels when he’s next to me? I feel like I should go apologize to the poor guy right now and let him have his way with me. How can he stand it?
Emily and I walk in silence until we reach the front of the school.
“You and Tommy seem to be doing better,” she says. Her voice seems careful.
“Yeah, I guess,” I reply.
“You guess?”
“I mean, yeah. Things are . . . fine.”
“You guys seem so happy. What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” I say. “I told you, I’m just tired.”
She stops and turns to me, searching my eyes for answers like I’m in an interrogation room. “That’s not it, Kay. Why are you so closed off?”
Wait. What?
“ I’m closed off?” My buried vexation quickly rises to the surface. “You barely talked to me about the fight on Friday and once you heard my side of the story, I didn’t hear from you all weekend.”
“What did you want me to do? You guys had a fight. Tommy was wrong, but he was just reacting to the way you’ve been treating him. I tried to talk to you about it earlier that day, remember? I warned you.”
“I went to the party to apologize,” I say, feeling defensive.
“That’s not what Jeff said.”
“Jeff? I was the only sober one there; why would you believe anything other than what I tell you? You’re my best friend—”
“We’re all friends, Kaley,” she spits out.
My simmering frustration quickly boils into anger. “So you’re as close with Jeff and Tommy as you are with me?”
She sighs impatiently. “Of course not.”
“Well that’s what you made it sound like.” The volume of my voice is starting to rise, and I try to pull it back. “I just don’t understand you guys.”
“Who?”
“You!” My voice rises again. “Tommy! All of you guys! I just got really crappy news about college. Which, by the way, you don’t even seem to care about. I figured you guys would understand if I was a little depressed about it. Instead, you’re mad at me.”
Okay, so maybe college isn’t my biggest concern right now, but it’s my last ditch effort to validate my behavior.
“I can’t believe you would say that to me,” she says, her eyes wounded. “Of course I care!” People glance our way as they pass and she lowers her voice. “Don’t be ridiculous.”
“Well you have a funny way of showing it,” I say. “According to you and Tommy, I’m apparently not allowed to have a bad day—or a bad week! You’re only satisfied when I’m your little happy-go-lucky robot friend who will drive all your drunken asses home.”
“That’s such a load of crap, Kaley, and you know it.” She turns away from me and sulks off toward the student lot.
I follow after her.
“Is it Ems? Really? Because I can’t think of any other reason why you’d be mad at me right now.”
She whips around, and I have to stop myself from crashing into her. “Because I don’t believe you!”
I step back, her words catching me off guard. “W-what don’t you believe?” The opposing team’s bus turns onto the street, and the lot grows quiet.
“I don’t believe it’s just college,” she says sharply. “There’s something else. Something you’re not telling me. So before you accuse me of not being there for you, why don’t you ask yourself why I can’t be?”
As soon as she says it, I know it’s true.
“Am I right?” she says, her eyes narrowing.
Yes! Of course
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