splashing to the floor but can’t feel them. I am numb. “So don't talk to me about pressure. I know exactly how it breaks a person. It has made me the way I am, made me live this robotic life thinking that I need to be perfect, to go through all of the steps in exactly the right order at the right time. Never taking joy in anything. You don’t know a thing about the crippling pressure on my back every waking minute, even when I know my mother no longer cares. Be thankful that you get to break down, to escape. Because it’s fucking exhausting trying to hold it together all the time.”
I feel Tucker’s hand on my shoulder while my back is turned to him. “Char, I—”
His voice sounds broken, helpless.
“She even tarnished me when it came to men. Case in point: you. I accepted the affection you were willing to give me because I believed I was only worth that much. I believed that I should be grateful for any kind of validation you sent my way. I allowed you to keep me a secret, to torment me in front of your friends. I allowed you to come back into my bed after that, to come back into my body. And that’s on me. Only after I distanced myself and got some kind of help could I see that what you did on your end was so fucking wrong. And still I can’t dig out the roots you planted in my heart. You are always going to be that person. The one I can never get out of my head, even when I fall in love with someone else. Even when I know I shouldn’t think about you. Even when I shouldn’t be with you. I will always want to be. Because you changed the way I love. You shaped my heart into what it knows now, and it won’t ever forget that. And I also fucking hate you for it.”
Slowly, so slowly that I can feel each of his large fingers wrap around my waist, Tucker turns me.
“You are always enough to me. More than enough. So much that it overwhelmed me, made me scared to death to feel how much you actually meant.”
Tears clog in my throat as he stares so deeply into my eyes that I swear, he can see my soul right now. It’s the first time in my entire twenty-five years on this planet that I feel like someone is really looking at me. Really seeing me. All of my senses are hyperaware; I feel the way his big hands circle my hips, how he smells like soap and the woods, the rustling of the leaves outside and the quiet lap of the waves on the shore of the lake.
I don’t move a muscle as his head descends, his gaze transfixed on my lips, my heart beating so hard in my throat it’s a wonder it doesn’t pop right out of my mouth.
For a fraction of a second he pauses, the electrical current sparking between our lips making me shake with anticipation. And then he closes the gap, pressing his lips into my own.
Warm. Exciting. Familiar. Strange. Desire.
All of the emotions and feelings inside of my body begin to crash into each other, sending my confused head and heart into even more of a tailspin.
Tucker’s hands are in my hair and on my cheeks, his tongue is sweeping and caressing mine, lighting a fire so extreme within me that there has to be smoke coming off of my flesh. I feel everything in me melting, his fingers are the matches and they’re sparking their path through me.
But he keeps the kiss slow, draws out each nibble, each open and close of our mouths. The rhythm is tantric, taking me higher and higher and then cooling down right before I think I’ll faint from the enormousness of it all.
I’ve never been kissed like this is in my life. Not even by Tucker.
This isn’t the kiss of a cocky teenager, awkward and groping in his advances. This is the kiss of a man. A confident, sexy, self-assured, strong … man .
Tucker walks me backward, slowly, so slowly. His hands touch any piece of skin he’s able to find. My cheeks, my neck, my arms, the small sliver of exposed skin above my sweatpants. And he’s bewitching me; the sounds I’m mewling into his mouth aren’t even of my own control.
“I forgot
I feel Tucker’s hand on my shoulder while my back is turned to him. “Char, I—”
His voice sounds broken, helpless.
“She even tarnished me when it came to men. Case in point: you. I accepted the affection you were willing to give me because I believed I was only worth that much. I believed that I should be grateful for any kind of validation you sent my way. I allowed you to keep me a secret, to torment me in front of your friends. I allowed you to come back into my bed after that, to come back into my body. And that’s on me. Only after I distanced myself and got some kind of help could I see that what you did on your end was so fucking wrong. And still I can’t dig out the roots you planted in my heart. You are always going to be that person. The one I can never get out of my head, even when I fall in love with someone else. Even when I know I shouldn’t think about you. Even when I shouldn’t be with you. I will always want to be. Because you changed the way I love. You shaped my heart into what it knows now, and it won’t ever forget that. And I also fucking hate you for it.”
Slowly, so slowly that I can feel each of his large fingers wrap around my waist, Tucker turns me.
“You are always enough to me. More than enough. So much that it overwhelmed me, made me scared to death to feel how much you actually meant.”
Tears clog in my throat as he stares so deeply into my eyes that I swear, he can see my soul right now. It’s the first time in my entire twenty-five years on this planet that I feel like someone is really looking at me. Really seeing me. All of my senses are hyperaware; I feel the way his big hands circle my hips, how he smells like soap and the woods, the rustling of the leaves outside and the quiet lap of the waves on the shore of the lake.
I don’t move a muscle as his head descends, his gaze transfixed on my lips, my heart beating so hard in my throat it’s a wonder it doesn’t pop right out of my mouth.
For a fraction of a second he pauses, the electrical current sparking between our lips making me shake with anticipation. And then he closes the gap, pressing his lips into my own.
Warm. Exciting. Familiar. Strange. Desire.
All of the emotions and feelings inside of my body begin to crash into each other, sending my confused head and heart into even more of a tailspin.
Tucker’s hands are in my hair and on my cheeks, his tongue is sweeping and caressing mine, lighting a fire so extreme within me that there has to be smoke coming off of my flesh. I feel everything in me melting, his fingers are the matches and they’re sparking their path through me.
But he keeps the kiss slow, draws out each nibble, each open and close of our mouths. The rhythm is tantric, taking me higher and higher and then cooling down right before I think I’ll faint from the enormousness of it all.
I’ve never been kissed like this is in my life. Not even by Tucker.
This isn’t the kiss of a cocky teenager, awkward and groping in his advances. This is the kiss of a man. A confident, sexy, self-assured, strong … man .
Tucker walks me backward, slowly, so slowly. His hands touch any piece of skin he’s able to find. My cheeks, my neck, my arms, the small sliver of exposed skin above my sweatpants. And he’s bewitching me; the sounds I’m mewling into his mouth aren’t even of my own control.
“I forgot
Similar Books
