out. “I just told Mother and Mark last night, though Mark had his suspicions before then, and of course Mother didn’t take it too well. They’ll be coming with me and getting a hotel room for Friday and Saturday nights. They said they’d spend the days with me.”
“What hospital?” was all he could ask while trying to sort through all of the turmoil going on in his head.
“Presbyterian.”
“Will you call me and let me know what they say so I don’t have to wait for you to get back?”
“If I can’t, I’ll get one of them to.” Leigh looked down at her lap, took a deep breath and let it out, then finally looked at Russ. “It’s not in my breast this time.”
“Where is it?” he was terrified of the answer, and when he heard it, it took everything he had not to break down and rail at the world.
“I have a brain tumor.”
All the breath in his body left him. Russ’ mind just couldn’t comprehend what Leigh had just said, but his heart had heard. Blinking back the tears so they wouldn’t escape, he jumped up from his seat on the grass beside her and he turned his back to try to compose himself. That’s when his breath came back in a choking rush. This time he couldn’t breathe because he was hyperventilating.
“Daddy?”
Russ heard the concern in his son’s voice coming from the edge of the water he’d been playing in, but he couldn’t turn around and respond.
“Just wait, baby. Daddy will be getting ready to join you in moment.” he heard Leigh tell Randy. The next moment, she was standing in front of him, looking up into his face. “Breathe with me Russell. You have to calm down.”
Russ couldn’t help himself. He grabbed Leigh into a bone crushing hug, burying his face in the crook of her neck taking deep breaths. The thought that he might be hurting her flashed through his mind, but he just had to feel her for a moment. He needed her to calm his racing heart and match his breathing with hers, as she’d requested, to be able to get air into his lungs. Russ needed to feel the life in her; to know and remember that she was there with him.
She slid her arms around his back loosely, after a few seconds of standing stiffly, and whispered in his ear.
“It’s going to be alright, Sprout.” she said, trying to make her voice sound light hearted. He knew she was just trying to get him to smile, and her using her old nic-name for him – she used to call him Russell Sprout in mock of the brussel sprouts he hated so much - almost accomplished that. He let his arms loosen up, without letting go, as she pulled back to look up at him and when she spoke, her tone had changed. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have just blurted it out like that.”
Russ both heard and saw the regret coming from her and was surprised after what she’d told him the other day. He had to swallow past the lump in his throat a couple of times before he could speak. “No regrets, remember? That wasn’t something you could break to someone easily. It’s like ripping a band-aid off; you just have to do it, or in this case you just have to say it. How’s your mom taking it?”
“She’s my mom.” she said. “I imagine she reacted as any mother would. I came here to help her while she went through treatment again and hadn’t planned on telling her so soon, but it’s not right to keep that kind of secret from people who’ll be so affected by it. The cancer came on quickly this time, and the doctors are afraid it will be a rapid growth.”
“Daddy! Come on!”
They looked over at Randy and he seemed to be trying to catch the fish with his hands. Leigh looked back at him. “Go play and occupy your mind for a while. We’ll talk more later.”
“Why don’t you stay the night at my house?” When it looked like she would decline, he rushed on. “I live in the guest house and it has three bedrooms. You’ll have your own
“What hospital?” was all he could ask while trying to sort through all of the turmoil going on in his head.
“Presbyterian.”
“Will you call me and let me know what they say so I don’t have to wait for you to get back?”
“If I can’t, I’ll get one of them to.” Leigh looked down at her lap, took a deep breath and let it out, then finally looked at Russ. “It’s not in my breast this time.”
“Where is it?” he was terrified of the answer, and when he heard it, it took everything he had not to break down and rail at the world.
“I have a brain tumor.”
All the breath in his body left him. Russ’ mind just couldn’t comprehend what Leigh had just said, but his heart had heard. Blinking back the tears so they wouldn’t escape, he jumped up from his seat on the grass beside her and he turned his back to try to compose himself. That’s when his breath came back in a choking rush. This time he couldn’t breathe because he was hyperventilating.
“Daddy?”
Russ heard the concern in his son’s voice coming from the edge of the water he’d been playing in, but he couldn’t turn around and respond.
“Just wait, baby. Daddy will be getting ready to join you in moment.” he heard Leigh tell Randy. The next moment, she was standing in front of him, looking up into his face. “Breathe with me Russell. You have to calm down.”
Russ couldn’t help himself. He grabbed Leigh into a bone crushing hug, burying his face in the crook of her neck taking deep breaths. The thought that he might be hurting her flashed through his mind, but he just had to feel her for a moment. He needed her to calm his racing heart and match his breathing with hers, as she’d requested, to be able to get air into his lungs. Russ needed to feel the life in her; to know and remember that she was there with him.
She slid her arms around his back loosely, after a few seconds of standing stiffly, and whispered in his ear.
“It’s going to be alright, Sprout.” she said, trying to make her voice sound light hearted. He knew she was just trying to get him to smile, and her using her old nic-name for him – she used to call him Russell Sprout in mock of the brussel sprouts he hated so much - almost accomplished that. He let his arms loosen up, without letting go, as she pulled back to look up at him and when she spoke, her tone had changed. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have just blurted it out like that.”
Russ both heard and saw the regret coming from her and was surprised after what she’d told him the other day. He had to swallow past the lump in his throat a couple of times before he could speak. “No regrets, remember? That wasn’t something you could break to someone easily. It’s like ripping a band-aid off; you just have to do it, or in this case you just have to say it. How’s your mom taking it?”
“She’s my mom.” she said. “I imagine she reacted as any mother would. I came here to help her while she went through treatment again and hadn’t planned on telling her so soon, but it’s not right to keep that kind of secret from people who’ll be so affected by it. The cancer came on quickly this time, and the doctors are afraid it will be a rapid growth.”
“Daddy! Come on!”
They looked over at Randy and he seemed to be trying to catch the fish with his hands. Leigh looked back at him. “Go play and occupy your mind for a while. We’ll talk more later.”
“Why don’t you stay the night at my house?” When it looked like she would decline, he rushed on. “I live in the guest house and it has three bedrooms. You’ll have your own
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