stone.”
Slowly, he turned and looked at me. Coldness invaded my belly at the expression on his face. Like he was looking at something he’d found on the bottom of his shoe after a stroll through the cow pasture. He stared at me for a long moment while I held my breath, waiting for the words that would kill fantasies of heading over to the courthouse to become Mrs. Jake Tatlow.
Because that’s all they were, I realized. Girlish fantasies of love and happy-ever-after. But when the words finally came, I still wasn’t prepared for their cruelty.
“How do I know it’s mine?”
There was no trace of irony in his tone. Or any feeling at all. But the words sliced through my heart as surely as if he’d used a butcher knife. He waited for my response, his eyes as impersonal as a stranger’s.
“How can you ask me that?” I finally managed to whisper. “You were my first. You know that.”
“Yeah, well…” He gave an offhand shrug and glanced out his window as a gray Ford pulled up next to us. A lanky boy with a buzz-cut and a cigarette dangling from his mouth got out, his eyes sweeping over us with mild curiosity. He nodded curtly.
Jake responded with a jerk of his chin. He watched the youth saunter into the drugstore. My heartbeat pounded in my ears.
“How do I know,” Jake said, still in that terrifyingly calm voice he’d used before, “you weren’t out ruttin’ in the woods with good old Chad? Maybe once I broke you in, you figured one man wasn’t enough for you.”
The sound that escaped my throat was one of a wounded animal. I slapped him hard across the face. The red imprint of my hand on his skin sent a surge of satisfaction through me.
It didn’t last. Rage flared in his eyes. His right hand closed on my face like a vise. He squeezed, sending shockwaves of pain vibrating through my jaw. He brought his face close to mine and spoke through clenched teeth, “The last time somebody hit me like that, he was picking his teeth up off the ground. You’d better not ever do it again, you hear?”
I nodded frantically through burning tears. Jake’s eyes were as hard as concrete. His hand tightened on my jaw. I whimpered, feeling as if my cheeks were going to explode. There would be bruises later, and how would I explain that?
He released me abruptly, a look of disgust on his face. I rubbed my tender jaw, tears running down my cheeks. I was afraid to say anything more, even though every nerve inside me was screaming in outrage that Jake believed I was capable of bedding Chad—or any other man—after I’d pledged my love to him. Instead, I huddled against my door, watching as he took off his cap and tunneled his fingers through his hair.
“Jesus H. Christ,” he muttered, staring blankly out the windshield. “How could this have happened?”
I didn’t say anything, but a tiny flare of hope ignited in my heart. If he would at least acknowledge he was the father, that would be a step in the right direction.
He looked at me, and the little ray of hope flickered out. There was no love in his eyes—only scorn. “Who knows? Besides your aunt and uncle?”
I shook my head. “No one. I wanted to tell you first. I thought if we went ahead and got married…”
“Aw… fuck !” He exploded, digging his fingertips into his temples.
I flinched.
Jake stared grimly out the windshield. “God damn it!” He banged his hands on the steering wheel, causing the truck to tremble. “I’m only 19 fuckin’ years old!” His gaze skewered me. “And you expect me to tie myself down to a wife and a squalling brat?”
His words were like a physical blow. I placed my palms on my still flat belly as if to protect the fetus inside me and licked my dry lips, knowing I risked reviving his wrath if I spoke, but I had to know. “I thought you wanted to marry me,” I whispered, trying desperately to keep my voice neutral. “You said…that first time…you’d been waiting for me to grow up. You talked about when
Slowly, he turned and looked at me. Coldness invaded my belly at the expression on his face. Like he was looking at something he’d found on the bottom of his shoe after a stroll through the cow pasture. He stared at me for a long moment while I held my breath, waiting for the words that would kill fantasies of heading over to the courthouse to become Mrs. Jake Tatlow.
Because that’s all they were, I realized. Girlish fantasies of love and happy-ever-after. But when the words finally came, I still wasn’t prepared for their cruelty.
“How do I know it’s mine?”
There was no trace of irony in his tone. Or any feeling at all. But the words sliced through my heart as surely as if he’d used a butcher knife. He waited for my response, his eyes as impersonal as a stranger’s.
“How can you ask me that?” I finally managed to whisper. “You were my first. You know that.”
“Yeah, well…” He gave an offhand shrug and glanced out his window as a gray Ford pulled up next to us. A lanky boy with a buzz-cut and a cigarette dangling from his mouth got out, his eyes sweeping over us with mild curiosity. He nodded curtly.
Jake responded with a jerk of his chin. He watched the youth saunter into the drugstore. My heartbeat pounded in my ears.
“How do I know,” Jake said, still in that terrifyingly calm voice he’d used before, “you weren’t out ruttin’ in the woods with good old Chad? Maybe once I broke you in, you figured one man wasn’t enough for you.”
The sound that escaped my throat was one of a wounded animal. I slapped him hard across the face. The red imprint of my hand on his skin sent a surge of satisfaction through me.
It didn’t last. Rage flared in his eyes. His right hand closed on my face like a vise. He squeezed, sending shockwaves of pain vibrating through my jaw. He brought his face close to mine and spoke through clenched teeth, “The last time somebody hit me like that, he was picking his teeth up off the ground. You’d better not ever do it again, you hear?”
I nodded frantically through burning tears. Jake’s eyes were as hard as concrete. His hand tightened on my jaw. I whimpered, feeling as if my cheeks were going to explode. There would be bruises later, and how would I explain that?
He released me abruptly, a look of disgust on his face. I rubbed my tender jaw, tears running down my cheeks. I was afraid to say anything more, even though every nerve inside me was screaming in outrage that Jake believed I was capable of bedding Chad—or any other man—after I’d pledged my love to him. Instead, I huddled against my door, watching as he took off his cap and tunneled his fingers through his hair.
“Jesus H. Christ,” he muttered, staring blankly out the windshield. “How could this have happened?”
I didn’t say anything, but a tiny flare of hope ignited in my heart. If he would at least acknowledge he was the father, that would be a step in the right direction.
He looked at me, and the little ray of hope flickered out. There was no love in his eyes—only scorn. “Who knows? Besides your aunt and uncle?”
I shook my head. “No one. I wanted to tell you first. I thought if we went ahead and got married…”
“Aw… fuck !” He exploded, digging his fingertips into his temples.
I flinched.
Jake stared grimly out the windshield. “God damn it!” He banged his hands on the steering wheel, causing the truck to tremble. “I’m only 19 fuckin’ years old!” His gaze skewered me. “And you expect me to tie myself down to a wife and a squalling brat?”
His words were like a physical blow. I placed my palms on my still flat belly as if to protect the fetus inside me and licked my dry lips, knowing I risked reviving his wrath if I spoke, but I had to know. “I thought you wanted to marry me,” I whispered, trying desperately to keep my voice neutral. “You said…that first time…you’d been waiting for me to grow up. You talked about when
Similar Books
