annual event in Cham. A wooden phallus fifty feet high was erected in the center of the marketplace. Revelers doused themselves with Tiger Balm oil and reptile aphrodisiacs and danced around the marketplace and through the town, throwing buckets of water at stall keepers and passersby. The dancing and merrymaking went on for three days, revelers making their way down to the riverbank at sunset, where they gyrated and copulated to the rhythm of thumping tom-toms, “climaxing” as the skyrockets burst overhead.
Filipino technicians helped the CUBS in their preparations for the rally. A twenty-foot neon sign, powered by a portable generator, was erected on a sandbar in the middle of the Mekong. The sign flashed the Cham letters C-U-B-S, in sequence and then all together.
The blinking lights flashed into the Soviet ambassador’s bedroom fronting on the river, and he protested to the Cham foreign minister about the neon intrusion into his sleeping quarters. The foreign minister shrugged off the protest, telling the ambassador that the sign had become a popular evening attraction for the Cham who gathered along the riverbank to watch the flashing neon display.
The rally was set to coincide with the final day of the fertility festival, when the crowds would be the largest. The plan called for hundreds of CUBS cadre to assemble near the giant phallus, march through the marketplace, and end up at the Salle de Fete, the grand hall where French colonials danced their minuets on Bastille Day. The plan called for General Ouane to make a speech from the dais erected in front of the Salle.
CUBS cadre assembled and then marched off carrying cardboard placards condemning CORRUPTION (caricatures of fat Vietnamese merchants handing out wads of the local currency) and COMMUNISM (fang-toothed Pathet Cham with hammers and sickles tattooed on their buttocks). The column marching to the Salle was swelled by hundreds of revelers who fell in with the CUBS marchers.
A seasonal downpour interrupted the parade briefly, causing some of the placards to run, but the sun soon reappeared and the march continued. Arriving at La Salle de Fetes, the CUBS cadre dutifully piled their placards in front of the dais, where General Ouane stood waiting to speak.
Ouane was a natural orator and a popular figure with the Cham. He began by welcoming the crowd and then announced it was too bad the Pathet Cham couldn’tmake it to the rally, because of an epidemic of the “shrinking organ disease” in their villages. The crowd roared its approval, prompting Ouane to poke more fun at the “Pathetic Pathets” before leading into the main theme about the CUBS.
Ouane extolled the CUBS as an organization that would BURN out corruption and communism! The word “BURN” was the signal for two CUBS cadre to light their torches and apply them to the pile of placards. The cadre applied the flaming torches to the placards and stepped back. The pile of still-soggy placards failed to ignite.
As the placard pyre fizzled, Ouane repeated his call to “BURN” out corruption. Two more cadre ran forward, applying torches to placard pyre, and this time a faint trickle of smoke curled in the air. The pyre, however, stubbornly refused to catch fire. One of the Filipino technicians suddenly ran forward carrying a gerry can of gasoline. He poured it over the placards as two more cadre rushed forward with their torches. Finally, a flicker of blue smoke curled up from the bottom of the pile, until the placards suddenly took fire. It was too late, however. By the time the placards caught fire and the pyre began to burn, the crowd had drifted away to watch a better show of couples copulating on the riverbank.
The caption of the Associated Press release read, “CUBS Rally Fizzles!”
The release added that “Corruption and Communism” had apparently emerged unscathed.
The Montagnards
Mountain dwellers are wild and proud, valley people soft and effeminate.
—GIOVANNI BOTERO,
Filipino technicians helped the CUBS in their preparations for the rally. A twenty-foot neon sign, powered by a portable generator, was erected on a sandbar in the middle of the Mekong. The sign flashed the Cham letters C-U-B-S, in sequence and then all together.
The blinking lights flashed into the Soviet ambassador’s bedroom fronting on the river, and he protested to the Cham foreign minister about the neon intrusion into his sleeping quarters. The foreign minister shrugged off the protest, telling the ambassador that the sign had become a popular evening attraction for the Cham who gathered along the riverbank to watch the flashing neon display.
The rally was set to coincide with the final day of the fertility festival, when the crowds would be the largest. The plan called for hundreds of CUBS cadre to assemble near the giant phallus, march through the marketplace, and end up at the Salle de Fete, the grand hall where French colonials danced their minuets on Bastille Day. The plan called for General Ouane to make a speech from the dais erected in front of the Salle.
CUBS cadre assembled and then marched off carrying cardboard placards condemning CORRUPTION (caricatures of fat Vietnamese merchants handing out wads of the local currency) and COMMUNISM (fang-toothed Pathet Cham with hammers and sickles tattooed on their buttocks). The column marching to the Salle was swelled by hundreds of revelers who fell in with the CUBS marchers.
A seasonal downpour interrupted the parade briefly, causing some of the placards to run, but the sun soon reappeared and the march continued. Arriving at La Salle de Fetes, the CUBS cadre dutifully piled their placards in front of the dais, where General Ouane stood waiting to speak.
Ouane was a natural orator and a popular figure with the Cham. He began by welcoming the crowd and then announced it was too bad the Pathet Cham couldn’tmake it to the rally, because of an epidemic of the “shrinking organ disease” in their villages. The crowd roared its approval, prompting Ouane to poke more fun at the “Pathetic Pathets” before leading into the main theme about the CUBS.
Ouane extolled the CUBS as an organization that would BURN out corruption and communism! The word “BURN” was the signal for two CUBS cadre to light their torches and apply them to the pile of placards. The cadre applied the flaming torches to the placards and stepped back. The pile of still-soggy placards failed to ignite.
As the placard pyre fizzled, Ouane repeated his call to “BURN” out corruption. Two more cadre ran forward, applying torches to placard pyre, and this time a faint trickle of smoke curled in the air. The pyre, however, stubbornly refused to catch fire. One of the Filipino technicians suddenly ran forward carrying a gerry can of gasoline. He poured it over the placards as two more cadre rushed forward with their torches. Finally, a flicker of blue smoke curled up from the bottom of the pile, until the placards suddenly took fire. It was too late, however. By the time the placards caught fire and the pyre began to burn, the crowd had drifted away to watch a better show of couples copulating on the riverbank.
The caption of the Associated Press release read, “CUBS Rally Fizzles!”
The release added that “Corruption and Communism” had apparently emerged unscathed.
The Montagnards
Mountain dwellers are wild and proud, valley people soft and effeminate.
—GIOVANNI BOTERO,
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