pushed passed him, the flowers scattering on the floor. I’d sprinted out to the crappy parking spot in front of the fire hydrant, back before the curb had been painted green by Clay, and I’d zipped off to Nora’s, tears streaming down my face.
I’d apologized later, but it was too late. By that time, Blake had already turned distant and unresponsive. We broke up the next day, and hadn’t spoken more than civil greetings (and the occasional that’s it, baby, post bar, drunken hookup). But I always left before the sun was up. And he didn’t ask about my Family anymore. And I didn’t tell.
Blake was still staring at my chest, as if lazily considering my request for a sweatshirt. “I have one. You can’t have it.”
“Fine. Bathroom?” I asked.
“You know where it is,” he said.
I walked down the hall glancing at the bachelor pad as I went. I would never admit it, but I was curious to see if there were signs of a new girlfriend; nail polish, tampons, mascara stained tissues (probably crying over how Blake loved his ex (me) more than them).
My search came to a halt as I reached the bathroom. A girl more naked than I stumbled from Blake’s bedroom directly across the hallway. Her shocking blue eyes tore scathing paths as she glanced at me from the bottom of my footies to the top of my stuck zipper.
“Oh, don’t worry about this,” I said, gesturing to myself. “You have nothing to worry about.”
“Oh, I’m not worried,” she said. She stood straight, her perfect body and perfect boobs displayed like she was modeling for portrait painting. “Are you one of his patients?”
“What? I thought Blake was unemployed.”
“No, he volunteers at a home for the mentally disabled. Some of them show up here once and awhile with a crush on him. It’s cute, if you ask me. All girls.” She touched my shoulder and smiled benignly.
“Uh, okay,” I said. “I just need to use the bathroom.”
“Do you need help?” Perky Boobs looked actually concerned.
“No. Gross.”
“Good girl,” she cooed. “Go on.”
I stared at her some more as I entered the bathroom. I did my business, washed up and refused to look in the mirror. I’m sure I looked like quite a sight after my debacle tonight. Oh well, Perky Tits, I thought. I got asked on a date tonight looking like this. Must mean I have a personality, also.
Then I realized Andrey and I hadn’t exactly had a deep heart to heart conversation. What was he after, anyway?
I rinsed my hands. Lacey - 0, Perky Boobs - 1.
And Blake – how many girls did he have coming over here that he had to make up some lame excuse about them being patients?
I emerged from the bathroom, pushing up my non-sexy bra and biting my lips a bit for some redness. I borrowed Blake’s phone while he made out with Perky Boobs, then waited awkwardly through a few phases of groping for Clay to arrive.
As I headed out the door, I thanked them both.
“I appreciate your services to the mentally handicapped,” I said as I shook Blake’s hand vigorously, while P.B. looked on curiously. “Excellent work, champ. This one you’ve got now…” I smacked my lips. “Winner.”
Blake’s face turned a brilliant shade of pink.
I smiled as I headed out to join Clay.
Lacey-1, Perky Boobs-1.
I’d settle for a tie.
Chapter 11
I stepped into Clay’s pimped out creeper-van and immediately covered my nose. He kept his eyes fixed on the road without looking in my direction.
“Why are you sweating so much?” I asked.
“No air conditioning,” he muttered, pulling away from the curb.
I turned towards the window, shielding my face from him and smiled. I felt a little bad I’d worried him so much, particularly when I hadn’t been especially terrified. And nowI really didn’t know how to break the news to him that I’d accepted a date with our nemesis/my kidnapper.
“I’m going to the gym in the morning. For real,” I said thinking of Perky Boob’s nice body.
He glanced
I’d apologized later, but it was too late. By that time, Blake had already turned distant and unresponsive. We broke up the next day, and hadn’t spoken more than civil greetings (and the occasional that’s it, baby, post bar, drunken hookup). But I always left before the sun was up. And he didn’t ask about my Family anymore. And I didn’t tell.
Blake was still staring at my chest, as if lazily considering my request for a sweatshirt. “I have one. You can’t have it.”
“Fine. Bathroom?” I asked.
“You know where it is,” he said.
I walked down the hall glancing at the bachelor pad as I went. I would never admit it, but I was curious to see if there were signs of a new girlfriend; nail polish, tampons, mascara stained tissues (probably crying over how Blake loved his ex (me) more than them).
My search came to a halt as I reached the bathroom. A girl more naked than I stumbled from Blake’s bedroom directly across the hallway. Her shocking blue eyes tore scathing paths as she glanced at me from the bottom of my footies to the top of my stuck zipper.
“Oh, don’t worry about this,” I said, gesturing to myself. “You have nothing to worry about.”
“Oh, I’m not worried,” she said. She stood straight, her perfect body and perfect boobs displayed like she was modeling for portrait painting. “Are you one of his patients?”
“What? I thought Blake was unemployed.”
“No, he volunteers at a home for the mentally disabled. Some of them show up here once and awhile with a crush on him. It’s cute, if you ask me. All girls.” She touched my shoulder and smiled benignly.
“Uh, okay,” I said. “I just need to use the bathroom.”
“Do you need help?” Perky Boobs looked actually concerned.
“No. Gross.”
“Good girl,” she cooed. “Go on.”
I stared at her some more as I entered the bathroom. I did my business, washed up and refused to look in the mirror. I’m sure I looked like quite a sight after my debacle tonight. Oh well, Perky Tits, I thought. I got asked on a date tonight looking like this. Must mean I have a personality, also.
Then I realized Andrey and I hadn’t exactly had a deep heart to heart conversation. What was he after, anyway?
I rinsed my hands. Lacey - 0, Perky Boobs - 1.
And Blake – how many girls did he have coming over here that he had to make up some lame excuse about them being patients?
I emerged from the bathroom, pushing up my non-sexy bra and biting my lips a bit for some redness. I borrowed Blake’s phone while he made out with Perky Boobs, then waited awkwardly through a few phases of groping for Clay to arrive.
As I headed out the door, I thanked them both.
“I appreciate your services to the mentally handicapped,” I said as I shook Blake’s hand vigorously, while P.B. looked on curiously. “Excellent work, champ. This one you’ve got now…” I smacked my lips. “Winner.”
Blake’s face turned a brilliant shade of pink.
I smiled as I headed out to join Clay.
Lacey-1, Perky Boobs-1.
I’d settle for a tie.
Chapter 11
I stepped into Clay’s pimped out creeper-van and immediately covered my nose. He kept his eyes fixed on the road without looking in my direction.
“Why are you sweating so much?” I asked.
“No air conditioning,” he muttered, pulling away from the curb.
I turned towards the window, shielding my face from him and smiled. I felt a little bad I’d worried him so much, particularly when I hadn’t been especially terrified. And nowI really didn’t know how to break the news to him that I’d accepted a date with our nemesis/my kidnapper.
“I’m going to the gym in the morning. For real,” I said thinking of Perky Boob’s nice body.
He glanced
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