wa y out o f t h e A q uarium (t h rou gh t h e g i f t sho p as alwa y s) and out onto the South Bank. A fella was selling pictures of the whale that was in the river a few y ears ago. It was a bottlenose whale that normally swims aroun d t h e Artic Ocean. It g ot l oa d s o f covera g e on t h e n ews at t h e time. Ever y one was excite d a b out t h is creature b ein g in London in the same wa y that ever y p u p il in m y class once got excited when a dog was in the school grounds an d t h e careta k er was sent out to s h i f t it. It was weir d as no o ne rea lly k new w h at to d o a b out t h e w h a l e, as it’s not an e ver yd a y p ro bl em we are use d to. We can h an dl e h oo d ies and binge drinkers and terrorist alerts, but a whale? Not the sort of fish you can just flush down the toilet, is it. 24-hour w h a l e s h i f ters are not f eature d in t h e Ye ll ow Pa g es. M en turne d u p an d l oo k e d p uzz l e d an d a b it aw k war d as the y tried to waft it back downstream, as if shooin g awa y a fl oating turd in the sea. And as anyone who has been in that situation wi ll k now, t h e more you wa f t t h e water, t h e c l oser t h e tur d g ets. I turn into a tur d ma g net in t h at situation. A f ter two d a y s t h e w h a l e d ie d . Accor d in g to scientists, t h e most likely explanation for the incident was that the whale w as seeking to return to its normal feeding grounds in the N ort h At l antic an d too k a wron g turn, mista k en ly swi m ming west up t h e T h ames rat h er t h an ta k ing t h e l onger r oute aroun d t h e coast. I can un d erstan d h ow it ma d e t h is mistake, thou g h, as it is eas y to g et lost in London .
What can I learn from the news?
“NO N E W S I S GOO D N E W S ” is the sa y in g , but w hen does that ever happen? You can’t get away f rom news t h ese d ays. It’s on t h e internet, t h e TV, ra d io, ma g azines, sent to y our mo b i l e ph one, an d t h en t h ere’s t h e f ree newspapers. E verybody is sat around reading so much n ews that I don’t know how any new news is happening. H ow much of it do I need to know about? I can’t keep up w it h it, an d even i f I cou ld , by t h e time I’ve rea d or watc h e d it a ll , t h e c h ances are t h e news I’ve rea d is out o f d ate, so I have to watch, read or listen to more. Are there im p ortant things to learn from news, or could I do without most of it? I d eci d e d f or t h is c h apter t h at I wou ld k eep a d iary o f news t h at g ra bb e d m y b rain’s attention in one wee k .
Monday
C hinese man gets recognized as shortest adult in the world. H is name is Pin gp in g . I’ve seen t h e stor y in a f ew d i ff erent n ews p a p ers. Some sa y h e’s 2 f oot 4, some sa y 2 f oot 6. T h e p icture in the news p a p er has him wearin g a suit that’s been specially made for him, but the bow tie he’s wearing is of n orma l size. It ma k es h im l oo k d a f t. I d on’t k now w h y h e cou ld n’t j ust g o f or a casua l l oo k f or t h e Guinness Book o f R ecor d s ph oto. His ph oto wi ll b e next to one o f t h e man w ith the longest ear-hair and the bloke with the longest toenails, so I don’t know why he’s bothered getting so d resse d u p .
I to ld Suzanne t h is news an d s h e sai d , “W h at are y ou tellin g me about that for?” and “It isn’t news, it’s not use f ul, you can’t do anything with that information”. I also read that the r e ’ s a n e w r eco r d fo r the tallest ho r se. I t ’ s called N o ddy , is 6 f oot 9 an d h asn’t sto pp e d g rowin g y et. I d i d n’t te ll S uzanne t h e news a b out t h e h orse as I d i d n’t t h in k s h e’ d be in te r ested.
L i ste n ed to t h e r ad i o a n d h ea r d in t h e h ead lin es t h at b ore d g a y s are im p rovin g mat h s. I d i d n’t un d erstan d t h is n ews. It wasn’t unti l t h ey reporte d t h e story in f u ll t h at I f oun d I’ d mis h ear d it.
What can I learn from the news?
“NO N E W S I S GOO D N E W S ” is the sa y in g , but w hen does that ever happen? You can’t get away f rom news t h ese d ays. It’s on t h e internet, t h e TV, ra d io, ma g azines, sent to y our mo b i l e ph one, an d t h en t h ere’s t h e f ree newspapers. E verybody is sat around reading so much n ews that I don’t know how any new news is happening. H ow much of it do I need to know about? I can’t keep up w it h it, an d even i f I cou ld , by t h e time I’ve rea d or watc h e d it a ll , t h e c h ances are t h e news I’ve rea d is out o f d ate, so I have to watch, read or listen to more. Are there im p ortant things to learn from news, or could I do without most of it? I d eci d e d f or t h is c h apter t h at I wou ld k eep a d iary o f news t h at g ra bb e d m y b rain’s attention in one wee k .
Monday
C hinese man gets recognized as shortest adult in the world. H is name is Pin gp in g . I’ve seen t h e stor y in a f ew d i ff erent n ews p a p ers. Some sa y h e’s 2 f oot 4, some sa y 2 f oot 6. T h e p icture in the news p a p er has him wearin g a suit that’s been specially made for him, but the bow tie he’s wearing is of n orma l size. It ma k es h im l oo k d a f t. I d on’t k now w h y h e cou ld n’t j ust g o f or a casua l l oo k f or t h e Guinness Book o f R ecor d s ph oto. His ph oto wi ll b e next to one o f t h e man w ith the longest ear-hair and the bloke with the longest toenails, so I don’t know why he’s bothered getting so d resse d u p .
I to ld Suzanne t h is news an d s h e sai d , “W h at are y ou tellin g me about that for?” and “It isn’t news, it’s not use f ul, you can’t do anything with that information”. I also read that the r e ’ s a n e w r eco r d fo r the tallest ho r se. I t ’ s called N o ddy , is 6 f oot 9 an d h asn’t sto pp e d g rowin g y et. I d i d n’t te ll S uzanne t h e news a b out t h e h orse as I d i d n’t t h in k s h e’ d be in te r ested.
L i ste n ed to t h e r ad i o a n d h ea r d in t h e h ead lin es t h at b ore d g a y s are im p rovin g mat h s. I d i d n’t un d erstan d t h is n ews. It wasn’t unti l t h ey reporte d t h e story in f u ll t h at I f oun d I’ d mis h ear d it.
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