work.’
William was murmuring to himself.
‘“No, of course not ” and “No, I did not” and a “no” an’ a “not” mean a “yes”, so he meant “yes, of
course” and “yes, I did”.’
He waited till the Friday before he gave his invitations with a casual air.
‘My folks is goin’ away tomorrow an’ they said I could have a few fren’s in to tea. Can you come? Tell your mother they said jus’ to come an’ not bother to
write.’
He was a born strategist. Not one of his friends’ parents guessed the true state of affairs. When William’s conscience (that curious organ) rose to reproach him, he said to it
firmly:
‘He said I could. He said, “Yes, of course”. He said, “ Yes , I did”.’
He asked them all. He thought that while you are having a party you might as well have a big one. He hinted darkly at unrestrained joy and mirth. They all accepted the invitation.
William’s mother took an anxious farewell of him on Saturday morning.
‘You don’t mind being left, darling, do you?’
‘No, Mother,’ said William with perfect truth.
‘You won’t do anything we’ve told you not to, will you?’
‘No, Mother. Only things you’ve said “yes” to.’
Cook and Jane had long looked forward to this day. There would be very little to do in the house and as far as William was concerned they hoped for the best.
William was out all the morning. At lunch he was ominously quiet and polite. Jane decided to go with her young man to the pictures.
Cook said she didn’t mind being left, as ‘that Master William’ had gone out and there seemed to be no prospect of his return before teatime.
So Jane went to the pictures.
About three o’clock the postman came and Cook went to the door for the letters. Then she stood gazing down the road as though transfixed.
William had collected his guests en route. He was bringing them joyfully home with him. Clean and starched and prim they had issued from their homes, but they had grown hilarious under
William’s benign influence. They had acquired sticks and stones and old tins from the ditches as they came along. They perceived from William’s general attitude towards it that it was
no ordinary party. They were a happy crowd. William headed them with a trumpet.
They trooped in at the garden gate. Cook, pale and speechless, watched them. Then her speechlessness departed.
‘You’re not coming in here!’ she said fiercely. ‘What ’ve you brought all those boys cluttering up the garden?’
‘They’ve come to tea,’ said William calmly.
She grew paler still.
‘That they’ve not !’ she said fiercely. ‘What your father’d say—’
‘He said they could come,’ said William. ‘I asked him an’ he said, “Yes, of course”, an’ I asked if he’d said so an’ he said,
“Yes, I did”. That’s what he said ’cause of English Grammar an’ wot Miss Jones said.’
Cook’s answer was to slam the door in his face and lock it. The thirty guests were slightly disconcerted, but not for long.
THEY TROOPED IN AT THE GARDEN GATE. COOK, PALE AND SPEECHLESS, WATCHED THEM.
‘Come on!’ shouted William excitedly. ‘She’s the enemy. Let’s storm her ole castle.’
The guests’ spirits rose. This promised to be infinitely superior to the usual party.
They swarmed round to the back of the house. The enemy had bolted the back door and was fastening all the windows. Purple with fury she shook her fist at William through the drawing-room window.
William brandished his piece of stick and blew his trumpet in defiant reply The army had armed itself with every kind of weapon, including the raspberry canes whose careful placing was the result
of a whole day’s work by William’s father. William decided to climb up to the balcony outside Ethel’s open bedroom window with the help of his noble band. The air was full of
their defiant war-whoops. They filled the front garden, trampling on all the rosebeds, cheering William as
William was murmuring to himself.
‘“No, of course not ” and “No, I did not” and a “no” an’ a “not” mean a “yes”, so he meant “yes, of
course” and “yes, I did”.’
He waited till the Friday before he gave his invitations with a casual air.
‘My folks is goin’ away tomorrow an’ they said I could have a few fren’s in to tea. Can you come? Tell your mother they said jus’ to come an’ not bother to
write.’
He was a born strategist. Not one of his friends’ parents guessed the true state of affairs. When William’s conscience (that curious organ) rose to reproach him, he said to it
firmly:
‘He said I could. He said, “Yes, of course”. He said, “ Yes , I did”.’
He asked them all. He thought that while you are having a party you might as well have a big one. He hinted darkly at unrestrained joy and mirth. They all accepted the invitation.
William’s mother took an anxious farewell of him on Saturday morning.
‘You don’t mind being left, darling, do you?’
‘No, Mother,’ said William with perfect truth.
‘You won’t do anything we’ve told you not to, will you?’
‘No, Mother. Only things you’ve said “yes” to.’
Cook and Jane had long looked forward to this day. There would be very little to do in the house and as far as William was concerned they hoped for the best.
William was out all the morning. At lunch he was ominously quiet and polite. Jane decided to go with her young man to the pictures.
Cook said she didn’t mind being left, as ‘that Master William’ had gone out and there seemed to be no prospect of his return before teatime.
So Jane went to the pictures.
About three o’clock the postman came and Cook went to the door for the letters. Then she stood gazing down the road as though transfixed.
William had collected his guests en route. He was bringing them joyfully home with him. Clean and starched and prim they had issued from their homes, but they had grown hilarious under
William’s benign influence. They had acquired sticks and stones and old tins from the ditches as they came along. They perceived from William’s general attitude towards it that it was
no ordinary party. They were a happy crowd. William headed them with a trumpet.
They trooped in at the garden gate. Cook, pale and speechless, watched them. Then her speechlessness departed.
‘You’re not coming in here!’ she said fiercely. ‘What ’ve you brought all those boys cluttering up the garden?’
‘They’ve come to tea,’ said William calmly.
She grew paler still.
‘That they’ve not !’ she said fiercely. ‘What your father’d say—’
‘He said they could come,’ said William. ‘I asked him an’ he said, “Yes, of course”, an’ I asked if he’d said so an’ he said,
“Yes, I did”. That’s what he said ’cause of English Grammar an’ wot Miss Jones said.’
Cook’s answer was to slam the door in his face and lock it. The thirty guests were slightly disconcerted, but not for long.
THEY TROOPED IN AT THE GARDEN GATE. COOK, PALE AND SPEECHLESS, WATCHED THEM.
‘Come on!’ shouted William excitedly. ‘She’s the enemy. Let’s storm her ole castle.’
The guests’ spirits rose. This promised to be infinitely superior to the usual party.
They swarmed round to the back of the house. The enemy had bolted the back door and was fastening all the windows. Purple with fury she shook her fist at William through the drawing-room window.
William brandished his piece of stick and blew his trumpet in defiant reply The army had armed itself with every kind of weapon, including the raspberry canes whose careful placing was the result
of a whole day’s work by William’s father. William decided to climb up to the balcony outside Ethel’s open bedroom window with the help of his noble band. The air was full of
their defiant war-whoops. They filled the front garden, trampling on all the rosebeds, cheering William as
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