Jumper Cable by Piers Anthony Page A

then the other, taking his first steps.
    “A few days should do it,” Wira said. “Then you won’t need the walker.”
    “A few days!” he exclaimed. “I thought this was for just an hour.”
    “It is until you learn how to manage your human form,” Wira said.
    “You can’t afford to be clumsy when you invoke it on an emergency basis. I’m sure the girls will help you cope.”
    “I’m sure I can learn to walk faster than that,” he said desperately.
    “But you will also need to learn the nuances of human behavior. Such as not going around naked.”
    “What’s wrong with being natural?” he demanded.
    “Humans aren’t natural. They are girt about by all manner of conventions. It will take time for you to catch up with them all.”
    “I’d rather stay a spider.”
    Wira shrugged. “Maybe your friends can persuade you otherwise.”
    “First dibs!” Phanta said. A frown circulated among the others, but they did not protest openly.
    “What are you talking about?” Jumper asked.
    “Persuasion,” Phanta said. “Here is one reason for you to remain human for a while.” She stepped close, ghosted through the walker, and stood immediately before him. She put her arms around his body and hugged him close. Then she put her mouth up to his and kissed him. It was like getting smacked by a warm living pillow. Little stars and planets radiated outward from the contact and orbited his head. Suddenly she was not only warm and soft, she was lovable. He seemed to float halfway out of his body and to peer down from above, seeing the two of them standing there, his hands on the bars of the walker, her arms wrapped around him, their two faces connected. Then everything whited out and he saw nothing. Until something snapped near his human ear. He opened his eyes. Phanta was gone and he was standing alone again. “What happened?”
    he asked, still halfway reeling.
    “You freaked out,” Haughty said. “She kissed you, and you flipped. That means you’re sufficiently human.”
    “Now do you know why you should remain human for a time?”
    Olive asked.
    “To do that again?” he asked.
    “To know how to handle it,” Wira said.
    He had not wanted to remain any longer in this odd clumsy body. Now it seemed there could be some reason: to avoid being vulnerable to freaking out, which might incapacitate him at a bad time. “Yes, I must learn,” he agreed. “Maybe I need to kiss her again.”
    “After you learn to walk,” Wira said. “And then it will be someone else’s turn. To assist you.”
    Oh. He had taken a sudden, surprising liking to Phanta. He had not liked or disliked any of the girls before, apart from the pleasant camaraderie of friendship. It wasn’t the kind of thing spiders did. Perhaps it was coincidental. But he probably needed to understand it.
    He practiced walking with the walker, and began to develop the skill. His body had relevant reflexes, when he let them operate, constantly correcting his balance. Finally he put aside the walker and walked alone without falling.
    The girls applauded. He had learned something useful. Then they dressed him. Wira brought male human clothing, and the girls showed him how to put it on. There were trousers that were similar to the trunks, only larger. One foot at a time, and draw them up as far as they would go, then fasten the belt to anchor them there. A shirt, that went on over the arms and back, then buttoned up the front. Shoes.
    “What?” he demanded. “Spiders don’t wear anything on their feet!
    It would mess up webcasting.”
    “You don’t have web in human form,” Wira said. So he reluctantly submitted to donning socks and shoes. They seemed unbearably clumsy at first, but soon he got used to them. Then he became uncomfortable. “I need to—” He hesitated, because he had learned that the related terms were seldom if ever spoken in public.
    It was Haughty who caught on. “You need to p**p,” she said. “And I don’t mean