Intrusion by Dean Murray

Intrusion
    by Dean Murray
    Smashwords Edition
    Copyright 2012 by Dean
Murray

    I hadn't felt quite right for a
couple of days now. Then again, my memory was something measured in
days rather than months and years like it should have been. What
did I really know when it came to 'normal'? Ever since I'd lost my
memory, I'd felt out of place, like I didn't really belong with
Isaac and the others. The feeling had gotten worse as time had gone
on, rather than wearing away like everyone had been telling me it
would. It was starting to make me worried.
    It finally got bad enough that I decided to
brave Alec's presence to ask if I could go into town. I found him
in his studio, surrounded by empty canvases, a brush in his hand,
apparently unable to bring himself to start on his next painting.
He looked up as I walked into the studio, and he even mustered a
smile, but it left me feeling like the effort had cost him more
than it should have. It was like it had pulled on a wound that
wasn't healing quite right, one that had started bleeding again
just because I'd been selfish enough to pierce his
sanctuary.
    He didn't say anything, so I cleared my throat,
gave him a second or two to tell me to get lost, and then launched
into my petition.
    "Sorry, Alec. I know you've said I
still have a lot to learn, but I'd really like to go into town.
Just for a couple of hours. Everyone has been cooped up at the
estate ever since Adr…I mean for days."
    He flinched a bit when I almost let
her name slip out, but nodded. "That's fine--Dom tells me that
you're doing much better with regards to your control. As long as
Isaac is fine taking you into town, I have no issues."
    There it was again. "I'd really like to go by
myself. I mean I don't want to bother Isaac. He shouldn't have to
take me everywhere like I'm some kind of kid who needs babysat all
of the time."
    Alec set his brush down. "I don't think that
Isaac views accompanying you as a chore, and I really don't think
that you're ready to be out without someone around to help make
sure that you don't let your true nature slip out into the
open."
    My nature. It made it sound like a curse, but
that actually wasn't too far off of how it felt most of the time.
Every adolescent boy in the world would have loved to be able to do
what I could do, what we could do, but so far the downsides were
outnumbering the cool bits by about eighty to one.
    "I--I'm happy to go with someone,
I'd just rather it not be Isaac right now."
    Actually I didn't want to go with anyone. I was
the very bottom of the pack, which meant that no matter who I was
with, I'd pretty much have to jump on command. Everyone meant well
for the most part, but our beasts made life hell in a lot of ways.
Only having a very strictly defined hierarchy kept us from dealing
with constant dominance fights.
    It still made for plenty of posturing, but it
helped a little. Frankly I'd have been much worse off if it wasn't
for Isaac. Although James and Jasmin seemed to trade up positions
on an almost hourly basis, Isaac was clearly the most powerful wolf
after Alec, and he'd made it clear to everyone, Alec included, that
there would be no subjecting me to the kind of crap most packs
routinely dished out to their submissives.
    It rankled a little bit to know that Isaac was
the only reason my life wasn't even worse than it already was.
Knowing he had that kind of control over me, that he could revoke
his protection at any moment if he felt so inclined, was hard to
deal with. Even harder was the way that he looked at me when he
thought I wouldn't notice. He was in love with me still. Only I
wasn't that person anymore. Which meant he wasn't really in love
with me; he was in love with a memory.
    "Okay, if you can find another
member of the pack who's willing to go with you, who's willing to
risk Isaac's displeasure when he finds out that you left without
him, I'm not going to interfere."
    I nodded and retreated out of Alec's
studio.
    Going to Rachel probably