Intensity by S. Briones Lim

pursed lips.
    “It scared me. You were one of my best friends and it was kinda fun liking you in secret. When I found out you liked me, I needed to put some space between us. I wasn’t ready for a relationship and I feared that if we spent more time together it might turn into that, given our mutual feelings and all,” he explained.
    “Not ready for a relationship?” Celine huffed. “What about Crystal?”
    “Crystal…?”
    Celine rolled her eyes. “You know! Your old girlfriend. The one you dated senior year? What happened to her, anyway?”
    “Oh yeah! That only lasted until the end of the school year. Guess she didn’t want a slacker after high school.”
    “No, that’s not my point. I mean, why say you weren’t ready for a relationship when you obviously were?” She shook her head in frustration. Seventeen years old or twenty-eight, she still felt as clueless as ever.
    “Celine, you were—and seemingly still are—perfect. You just encompassed goodness…”
    “And nerdiness and naiveness?” Celine offered.
    “No!” Brian sighed. “Do you know how much pressure it would have been to be the first boyfriend of someone so good? What if I messed up and totally damaged your views of men for the rest of your life?”
    Celine laughed sarcastically. “You can blame my ex-boyfriend for that.”
    Brian shot her a look. “I was hoping that you’d somehow end up with Chad and when that didn’t work out, I’d come swooping in to save you from him.”
    “It obviously didn’t work out. Ruthie told me you knew all about Homecoming. Where were you when that happened? I didn’t see you swoop in then.” Celine didn’t know why she even wanted to know. She was playing with fire and she knew it.
    Brian sighed. “I guess having been with Crystal that long, I ended up falling in love for the first time. I couldn’t just leave her, though I must admit I felt horrible for still crushing on you the entire time I was with her. Guess I was just a horny, no good teenager back then.”
    “So she did put out,” Celine replied thoughtfully. She said it to make Brian laugh, but instead he frowned.
    “You must think I’m some kind of big jerk. The reason I stayed with Crystal was because I didn’t want to…deflower you,” he finally finished.
    “Please never use the term ‘deflower’ again. You remind me of a grandfather,” she laughed, though Brian remained serious. She sighed. “Listen, I don’t think of you as a jerk, okay? Far from it. Besides, I’m kinda happy we never ended up together.”
    “What do you mean?” he asked curiously, feeling a bit hurt.
    “All things happen for a reason, I’m a firm believer of that. If we ended up together, who knows? I might have grown to hate your guts or vice versa. Then where would Ruthie be right now? Obviously not with Cash.”
    Both began to laugh.
    Brian shook his head. “She better watch it. I’ve seen how Cash deals with women.” He paused and added, “Forgive me for my language, but I have no other way to explain this.”
    “Fine, go ahead,” Celine replied curiously.
    “Well, he uses them and throws them away when he’s bored. Wham, bam, thank you ma’am. Fuck ’em and chuck ’em. He got into this business too young and it warped his mind a bit. To him everything is dispensable—including women. He’s not like us normal folk. He takes things for granted.”
    “What about—”
    “All that stuff about feeling like a piece of meat?” he grunted.
    Celine nodded.
    “Though I don’t doubt that fame screwed with him, I think he enjoyed being that piece of meat. In fact, I’d even say he thought of himself as filet mignon.”
    “Should I warn Ruthie?” Celine asked, glancing at her phone.
    Brian shook his head. “I think she’ll be fine. She seemed to always have a good head on her shoulders.” Celine bit her lip, not entirely convinced. Noticing the look on her face, Brian reached out and patted her arm with assurance. “I know you’re