In Too Deep by Michelle Kemper Brownlow

just have to spit it all out in one long confession. If I stopped, I’d never get it all out. “Joel, the night of the fireworks, I kissed him. I kissed Noah. It was just a small kiss, nothing romantic. Just a peck. And…”
    “You kissed him?”
    No. No. No. Don’t interrupt me.
    I was running solely on momentum, and he stopped me dead in my tracks. I needed to get the last part out, the part where I broke up with him.
    “Yeah.” The line went quiet. I actually thought he hung up.
    “Hello?
    “Say it again.”
    “What?” I heard what he said, but I needed a moment to prepare to say those words, and before I stopped this time, I needed to break right into the I think we need to see other people part. My heart pounded, and my legs shook so badly the pompoms that hung from my bed post fell to the floor.
    “Say it again.” His voice was sad and low.
    Here goes. I sucked in the deepest breath I’d ever taken, and I held it for a second, hoping I would faint before I had to do this again. “We kissed, Joel. Noah and I kissed the night of the fireworks. And, that’s why I think we should…”
    “Wow,” he interrupted again.
    “Wow?”
    “I was just hoping it would hurt less the second time you said it. It didn’t.”
    “Please don’t hate me.”
    “Hate you? Babe, I love you with all my heart. We will get through this. We just have to set up some boundaries so he can’t pressure you ever again.”
    Pressure me? Shit. He didn’t pressure me. As much as I fought with my mind over it, I wanted that kiss with every ounce of my being. I had hoped Joel would just hate me and break up with me. It seemed desperate of him to hang on so tightly when I was halfway gone already.

    As guilty as I still felt for cheating on Joel, replaying that conversation in my mind served a purpose, making the walk of shame go by faster. I walked up to my apartment building and repeated that last thought in my mind, “It seemed desperate of him to hang on so tightly when I was halfway gone already.” Maybe I should take my own advice.
    I looked up when I walked into the lobby and heard the elevator doors open. Sam and Jake were both laughing as they walked out. But when they saw me, their faces fell. They sped up to get to me.
    “Gracie?” Jake said it but Sam’s eyes showed the same concern I heard in Jake’s voice. .
    “Hey guys.”
    “You okay?” Sam spoke and Jake hugged me. I melted.
    “I don’t know, actually. Noah is just acting a little weird, that’s all.”
    “You have plans today?” Sam smiled as he spoke.
    “Want to hang with us?” Jake’s voice was hopeful.
    “You need anything at the grocery store?” Sam pointed at me like I needed to know I was the one he was talking to.
    I looked around the lobby. “Oh, oh, you’re talking to me? Thanks for clearing that up.”
    “Smart ass,” Sam chuckled and pushed my shoulder back.
    “So, you didn’t answer any of our questions.” Jake pretended he was annoyed but I knew he really wasn’t. He had more patience than anyone I knew. I giggled at the way they were taking turns firing those questions at me like they had rehearsed it on the way down. I felt the stress leave my body. These two guys were such a gift to me. They were like my Heaven. My safe place in the midst of confusion and hurt. They came as a set. Both would run any direction to catch me when I fell.
    “So, what are we doing today?” I asked. I didn’t even have to say “yes,” they knew my answer.
    “We’re just headed to grab a speaker wire, fix a speaker”—Jake pointed over his shoulder toward Noise Boys , the stereo store on the corner—“then we’re getting the car and heading for groceries .”
    “Oooo fun!” I said sarcastically with a big grin.
    They both cocked their heads and gave me the “because you’ve got better plans?” look.
    “Okay. I’ll run upstairs and shower. Come down to my apartment after you fix the speaker. I need a few things at the store.” I